Watch Eat Locals For Free

Yawn. Poorly Filmed Snooze Fest.

Why so much hype?

If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.

Oh, dear, I had some big hopes for this flick. For starters, it's written by Danny King, who was responsible for the witty Wild Bill (worth a watch) and directed by Jason Flemyng, who I've admired as an actor since his chilling lead role in George Romero's Bruiser. I thought that if somebody could add a new take on the vampyre mythos then these could be the two to do it... I have to admit they did try... but failed miserably.So what's so bad? It's full of great actors? It's the entire concept which bothered me. Vampire Overlords gathering together at a local farmhouse to discuss territory and quotas... so much for all-powerful beings who need to be feared. These are the most boring undead I've ever witnessed. It wouldn't have been too bad but both King and Flemyng spend too much time on this opening scene and idea. Even when things could have raised the action up a notch, like finding out one of them was taking more than their share, it's handled in a dull and tiresome way.Then when the army arrives, under the command of the church, I began to get my hopes up. Though Flemyng does a wonderful job of filming, adding interesting camera shots and angles - he's even pretty good with the action and fight scenes, he's not too good at creating atmosphere and this only adds to the sense of tedium. When the action finally heats up we are given a new vision of vampires. Not as all-powerful but as quite weak and powerless individuals. If you're wanting gore then there's very little in the film. In fact, the most blood in this film is in the farmer's fridge... along with loads of body parts... Sounds interesting, doesn't it(?) However, the farmer is just another wasted opportunity.Another thing that's wasted is the opportunities for comedy. The scene where Alice (Crosbie) wobbles out on a zimmer frame to take on the soldiers offers a lot of possibilities for both verbal and sight gags. However, what we get is a week killing and a cut away to another scene, only to later return to find Alice has been slain.And this is another letdown of the film. There are too many cut-aways. I don't mind when a director uses this as a way to cut down on gore. When handled correctly this style of filmmaking forces the audience to use their imagination, which usually is better than the filmmaker can provide. However, Flemyng doesn't just cut at gore and this gives the film a disjointed feel. The above scene, I mentioned, left me feeling unsatisfied.It's the actors that add the power and interest to the film. Even though their characters are lacking in appeal and are two-dimensional in structure they do breath a spark into them. It's just a shame that we don't get more of the Farmer, Mr Thatcher as I think Fletcher does a brilliant job with him. Eve Myles tries to Vamp it up as Vanessa but doesn't quite come across sexy enough - close though. Then you have the likes of Tony Curran as Boniface, Mackenzie Cook as Larousse, and Annette Crosbie as Alice... all of which are underused.So what we have is a nicely directed and well acted mostly dull and boring story. The entire thing would do well with a complete overhaul. The idea is strong and sound it just needed handling better, especially with the horror and comedic elements.I wouldn't recommend this to anyone who likes vampires or horror movies to rush out and grab a copy. Wait for it to come onto telly... and then, only if there's nothing else worth watching.

i did not get it. Is it meant to be a mixture of a mafia flick (vampires gather to administrate turf rights)? I really tried to get into it but in the end my Instagram news feed was more interesting than the movie. Putting a granny with an automatic weapon also does not make a good joke automatically. I could have given 1 star but I did not mean to offend.

NB, I'm awarding this movie 4 for the inclusion of so many really good actors, actors who as an ensemble cast should have had better parts written for them. My - complete supposition - is that as the director, Jason Fleming, is a well known actor, there was some measure of doing a pal a favour in getting this cast together. Try as it might to get going, this movie, has an identity problem. Is it a comedy? Is it horror? Is it a pastiche of "Famous" movie scenes stuck together?It may have been trying for all three (And perhaps I missed a few other tropes.)Sadly the result misses out on everything. The premise is basically sound - British vampires meet up to discuss new "Membership" - but from there on, story, characterisation, and humour often falls flat. Dexter Fletcher, mostly shines with his comedic efforts, but that just shines a spotlight on the paucity of the writing for the rest of the cast.Probably best observed with friends, playing a drinking game - take a shot every time you say "Oh dear!" to yourself - on the other hand, perhaps not, I wouldn't want to encourage irresponsible drinking!

At the time of writing this (5/29/2017) there were only two other user reviews on IMDb, both of which were relentlessly critical of EAT LOCAL, giving the movie but a single star each. While EAT LOCAL is not a cinematic masterpiece, neither does it deserve such a sound thrashing.EAT LOCAL might perhaps be a little confusing to the utterly ignorant who have no experience with black humor or "gallows humor". Both of the extant reviews suggest a bit of confusion on this point."Gallows humour is humour about very unpleasant, serious, or painful circumstances. Any humor that treats serious matters, such as death, war, disease, and crime, in a light, silly or satirical fashion is considered gallows humor. Gallows humor has been described as a witticism in response to a hopeless situation. It arises from stressful, traumatic, or life-threatening situations, often in circumstances such that death is perceived as impending and unavoidable." Black or gallows humor is known to date back at least a couple of thousand years; it is not a new invention. However, such a story style may be confusing to those who are only familiar with the current trend in the vampire genre of treating the subject matter exclusively as horror or some sort of questionable kind of romance.The above having been said, the careful timing and subtlety required for successful black comedy can be difficult to achieve, and EAT LOCAL does not hit its mark every time. Probably best to view this movie as "quirky" and give it the benefit of the doubt for trying something a little different.The plot of EAT LOCAL is quite simple. A small collection of relatively ancient and well-positioned vampires apparently have the tradition of conducting a sort of business meeting every 50 years in some quiet, out-of-the-way location. Unfortunately, at this particular meeting, the humans have caught wind of the vampire's existence and of this meeting and a small military contingent has been sent round to investigate and possibly interfere. The entire movie takes place in the context of this confrontation. The situation gives rise to horror and hilarity, or at least that is the intent.EAT LOCAL is, at the very least, worth a watch. While it does not carry off its intent without flaw, it's at least something different from the usual low-grade horror snore-a-thons or pseudo-romantic drivel that infest the vampire genre nowadays. Many of the actors here are A-list and help carry the picture a little higher than it might otherwise have gone.One element sadly missing from the movie is a convincing and interesting portrayal of some of the vampires who are SUPPOSED to be thousands of years old. What would such a creature actually be like, possessing as they do possibly thousands of years of world experience? In the case of Tony Curran who plays the character Peter Boniface, his 2000-year-old character is simply portrayed as the same sort of arrogant wonk you might meet driving a Chelsea tractor today. Annette Crosbie does a much better job with her character Alice, passing herself off as a sweet old lady with only a hint of the ancient monster that lies beneath. And then, sadly and what should be out of character, Alice does a Rambo impression to no good purpose, and then walks straight into her death deliberately. One would think an ancient mythical creature, who has successfully lived long enough to BECOME an ancient mythical creature, accent on ancient, would be a bit smarter than that by now.Good old Mackenzie Crook is wasted as a stereotypical religious nut case (because anyone who does anything with a religious motivation MUST be the worst creep in every picture nowadays… yawn).In the end, most of the humans are wiped out and about half of the vampires, and what's left of the humans and vampires break their clinch and go their separate ways, although one particular human and the 3 remaining vampires have a newfound friendship. You'll have to watch the movie to see what that's all about.So, all in all, it's not that bad a movie though it's definitely not a great one. The original idea is actually pretty interesting and with a bit more effort it could have risen much higher.