Watch Train For Free

Memorable, crazy movie

Don't listen to the Hype. It's awful

While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

This was originally supposed to be a remake of the 1980 Jamie Lee Curtis movie Terror Train, but it later evolved into an original project, it was a film I had seen the DVD cover many times, so I guess I had to see it. Basically in Eastern Europe, a group of American college athletes are competing in a wrestling championship, the team are led by Coach Harris (Todd Jensen), and the students include Todd (Derek Magyar) and his girlfriend Alex (American Beauty's Thora Birch), Sheldon (Kavan Reece), Claire (Gloria Votsis), and young assistant coach Willy (Gideon Emery). Following a hard match they spend the night drinking heavily, this means that the following morning they miss the train to Odessa. A seemingly friendly woman, Dr. Velislava (Koyna Ruseva), shows them another train that they can board, two workers are seen taking all of their passports and burning them. Soon enough the coach and students realise there is something dodgy going on, one by one they disappear on the train, all ending up in a dilapidated room, and severely injured. Dr. Velislava is carrying out a deadly series of operations on the students, cutting them open and tearing them apart whilst still alive to dissect their organs, to be sold and transplanted to patients. After some time of the students being captured and tortured for their organs, and passengers on the train apparently in on the horrible scheme, Alex is the last living survivor of the terror, in the end she is seen escaping the train by uncoupling the carriage, and later returns, having recovered from the events, to fight a wrestling match with grim confidence. Vladimir Vladimirov as Vlad, Valentin Ganev as Conductor Vasyl, Ivan Barnev as Gregor, Nikolay Mutafchiev as Vasily and Miroslav Emilov as Ishtav. Birch is not all that convincing as the emotionally drained heroine who watches all her friends become unwilling organ donors, it probably wouldn't have made any difference if it was set on a train or not, apart from some of the gory moments it is not scary, predictable and uninteresting, thank goodness it got limited release in film festivals and went straight to DVD, a disappointing horror. Adequate!

I would love to get inside the minds of anyone who rated this higher than a 2.Anyone who knows about how movies are made should know that even if a company buys a GOD AWFUL script.... they can always CHANGE it. Stanley Kubrick was known to write scripts as he filmed (The Shinning) so.... there is ABSOLUTELY no reason that this story should be this bad. The director can change the script for free. The producers can sit down and change the script, for free. Hell, even actors have thrown their two cents in and made GREAT changes to movies. You don't have to hire a writer to change a bad story into a good one.It's like, everyone on this film really liked it because, you cannot sit up here and tell me that NO ONE working this film had something bad to say about it.1. Scenes were too dark: I'll be 30 soon and I am FULLY embracing gore. Gimme a little light so I can see. I thought the disgusting dissections could have been good, but I could not see them! 2. Good idea, bad execution: Harvesting organs! Yes. On a train... uh. Torture before hand?? No thanks. Whats the point of that? Sooooo, I guess this movie is pointless.3.Wrestlers, not being able to defend themselves?? Well, if their wrestling match was any sign of their fighting skills, then I guess so. I was not intimidated by anyone on the team... The coach told one of them that he couldn't talk unless he won, and the chick lost too, so that's 1 out of 3 victories... I guess they did suck...4. Let's not try to escape... let's just run around like idiots... OKAY! How the hell did they make it into the woods with NO ONE really looking for them and still, one of them gets killed.5. Why was it gross sometimes, but not at other times? Like when harvesting organs they got blood and guts galore! But when a man takes an ax to the belly there is no blood or anything? Why?? So he could do his own stuns??6. No one, tries to help anyone, basically... How are you gonna kill the dude trying to rape you and then run off and leave the man in the cage when the other rapist sees you?? Why don't you follow your own lead and kill him, after you let the man out of the cage... LOGIC. Dude has his dick out, he's super vulnerable. On top of that, all this rape and implied rape is totally unnecessary, as were the characters who did the raping. They did not make the story better in any way.The list could go on so let me just say: This movie had absolutely NO logic. I finished it because I was WAITING AND WAITING FOR SOMEONE, ANYONE to man up! COME ON! It was like, dumb on top of dumb.There are somethings I expect... tripping while you run away, getting caught and locked up, but this was like crawling when you could easily run and putting on your own handcuffs. When you fall, get up and sprint it out, when you get caught, escape... This movie just surrendered.

I am a big fan of horror movies. Especially non-slasher disturbing shock cinema films. I love gory disturbing films with explicit violence if it has purpose and sense to the story. But this one doesn't. Sure, violence is there, and it has some great moments of massacre, but other that that, it still feels somehow censored (not showing penises several times throughout the film, for instance).Also, I'm the first person who sympathizes with heroes more than with villains in most horror films. Usually, I hope many survive, especially my favorite characters. However, in this one I didn't have any favorite characters. Somehow, all the 'good' characters are flat and pointless. Two of the characters are irredeemably stupid, two are decent, but killed to early. One had potential, but did nothing worthwhile. Thora Birch's character was the only one making sense, until... she returned on train!!! Really?? Not only Hollywood-esque, but also stupid and irrational decision. Her fight with the villains was rushed too.The villains were cool, though. Bit cliché, but the boss had unique face and was very attractive, conductor was cool too and the butcher had potential. I enjoyed inbred retards as well.Oh, yeah, just to mention (to whoever wants to spoil the end), no surprises whatsoever. Thora survives, all villains and all other good characters die. Just generic and predictable.However, OK horror flick for seeing if you are searching for blood and guts. But there are better films for that too, Hostel, Saw franchise and Hills Have Eyes being some of them.But, I'm being generous, since I gladly give 9s and 10s to movies I really love. This one isn't that awful, but if you expect Hostel, just don't. You'd be very disappointed.

I probably should have known this was going to be, or at least akin to being, "torture porn", or the gratuitous slicing and dicing of people without any of the suspense, but I didn't expect this low-rent movie starring Thora Birch to be just so unpleasant, in its style and mood and its delivery. It doesn't help that the cast mostly looks like the understudies of other actors (that one guy is a dead ringer for Denis Leary, another one for European Cameron Diaz) and none of them can act very well (Birch, of course, being a master thespian of under-acting if that's possible). But any moment that a suspenseful walking/creeping around should work it doesn't, and any moment that we're supposed to be icked or frightened by the next gashing-out of blood is just stupid in its excessiveness. It also doesn't help at all that the logic is twisted; there's a train that kidnaps unwitting people into using their bodies on the black market, okay, I'll bite, maybe it's like Taken on a Train (ho-ho). Even then there's little thought put into it; they're organ-removers basically- a little like the people in Hostel only providing a "service" albeit extremely criminal and psychopathic and with some of the usual big galuts in tandem. But what about what's usually done with organ removing and transplanting like, I don't know, a CLEAN ROOM! It's one thing to be evil East-Euro organ removers, it's another thing to be incompetent while doing it. Also, the ending is one of the lamest in modern cinematic memory, even if it's straight-to-video. There's little to recommend about it except for a few (unintentional) laughs early on before the Olympic team gets on the train and parties down at an overly-red-lit nightclub.