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The Ice Pirates
In the not too distant future, where by far the most precious commodity in the galaxy is water. The last surviving water planet was somehow removed to the unreachable centre of the galaxy at the end of the galactic trade wars. The galaxy is ruled by an evil emperor presiding over a trade oligarchy that controls all mining and sale of ice from asteroids and comets.
Release : | 1984 |
Rating : | 5.6 |
Studio : | Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, JF Productions, |
Crew : | Art Direction, Art Direction, |
Cast : | Robert Urich Mary Crosby Michael D. Roberts Anjelica Huston John Matuszak |
Genre : | Adventure Action Comedy Science Fiction |
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Touches You
Simply Perfect
Save your money for something good and enjoyable
The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.
The Ice Pirates is far from one of my favorite sci fi movies from the 80's. In fact, I remember not liking this when I was a kid. I have chose to give this an adult rewatch and while I can't exactly call this "good", it deserves some merit for being possibly the cheesiest 80's movie ever made. The Ice Pirates is about as silly of a swashbuckling sci fi romp, that is camp and absurdity that goes way past 11. The cast is filled with some notable actors, like Robert Urich (who shows a lot of charisma), Angelica Huston and Ron Perlman in his film debut. However, The Ice Pirates is pretty bad, with lots of dumb humor, slapstick, ridiculous outfits and plot holes galore. I did appreciate how crazy this movie is and how far they took it over the top. This was too cheesy for me in the 80's and while The Ice Pirates is not a very good movie, I was amazed by how far the filmmakers went with the stupidity and insanity of this film. For that, this movie is totally off the wall and completely bonkers entertainment that is a campy cult film that is in its own class.
Although I wouldn't say it is better than Spaceballs, it is in itself a pretty decent movie. This movie really stretches the PG rating, there are multiple uses of curse words, a rather long grope and make out scene in "the pleasure chamber" along with a decapitation and cutting off of a hand.The movie flows pretty well without too many dull moments. Good enough acting by the cast to keep you from getting too bored. It's not going to win any awards for plot, but it's solid enough for entertaining you on a rainy night or with a group of friends if you wanna kick back a few and have some laughs.
I never actually saw a film that was so bad it was good until I saw this one. It really cranks the ridiculousness up to 11! The movie is for the most part a giant Star Wars ripoff: they just copied the whole bloody concept, the 'used universe' art style, the bleeping robots, the scoundrels, the princess, the evil wizards/empire...Then they try to combine this with idiotic comedy and believe me you will laugh, not at the jokes but at the over the top nonsensical lunacy they call a film. Other scifi also gets ripped off: the chestburster from Alien is here called 'space herpe'. Ad also some 'Flash Gordon' spandex scenes, a battle sequence with accelerated aging (they just speed up the frame rate) where they use increasingly more huge wigs to indicate the aging. If you want to ROFL without being even remotely drunk or spaced out, see this. If you combine one of the previous 2 with this movie you even might easily kill yourself.
And this really wasn't. I think they tried to find jokes that reminded you of Star Wars and Alien, but they just didn't work. Most of the jokes fell flat, like the "Space Herpe". (Remember in the 1980's when were were all afraid of Herpes?) The plot is that water is a rare commodity in the future. (Again, if you want to write GOOD science fiction, you have to understand science!) So this Evil Empire called the Templars controls all the water, except for Ice Pirates who steal it, (probably inspired by some hack California screenwriter who was told he couldn't turn on his sprinkler during a drought.) You had a bunch of actors essentially committing career suicide here. Mary Crosby, fresh off her stint on "Dallas", was never heard from again. Neither were most of the cast, except for Ron Perlman and Robert Urich, who got new chances to crash their careers...The special effects were cheesy looking, which is probably the movie's main problem.