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Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List
The bonds between Naomi and Ely are tested when they fall for the same guy.
Release : | 2015 |
Rating : | 5.5 |
Studio : | |
Crew : | Production Design, Director of Photography, |
Cast : | Victoria Justice Pierson Fodé Matthew Daddario Ryan Ward Griffin Newman |
Genre : | Comedy Romance |
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Reviews
Don't Believe the Hype
There are moments in this movie where the great movie it could've been peek out... They're fleeting, here, but they're worth savoring, and they happen often enough to make it worth your while.
It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,
The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.
This was enjoyable enough as indie rom-coms go, even though I didn't get (missed?) what motivated Naomi's coming out of denial at the end of Act Two... My biggest Hunh? came when I checked the release date at the end of the movie... I know she was only 18, but as a young woman living in New York in 2015, I found it incredible that she wasn't gay-savvy enough not to have fallen in love with Ely, or at least acknowledge that it could never work out... That kind of naive self-delusion was more fitting for a girl in the more innocent 1970's (I'm thinking of my younger sister, who had a gay BF she developed a crush on) - it's hard to believe that could still happen almost 50 years later in our current culture... In any case, should be popular with teenage girls.
Based on the reviews on Netflix, I thought it would be a barely watchable movie. And, the first 10 minutes of it were critical for me. If you can go through them, then you can watch the whole thing. It starts out in a sugar coated cheesy obnoxious teenage la-la-land. The main characters are young hipsters in NYC who do everything you hate about such people and who fulfill all your stereotypes about gay people and snobby arrogant teens. But then at least there is a story line and some sort of message, they're trying to show as obvious as possible. The dialogue was very bad, the acting of the Naomi girl wasn't that good either. And I guess most people just watched it because of all the hot boys. It's horrible if they have to explain you in the movie everything that it should be about and trying to be deep by showing you shallow people with their shallow little lives and 1st world problems. It's like showing you a vase with dead wilted flowers and telling you how beautiful and alive those flowers are and repeating it for 90 minutes. Maybe you will buy it, but probably not. I'm glad I don't know any person in my life, who is like Naomi. So, the movie is OK for teenage girls and people who are really bored (which I was), but hopefully I will forget about it as fast as I forget about any mediocre movie these days. It's not as bad as Twilight, but it's not even close to some real movies. And, if you want to see a really good movie about teenagers and their love problems, go watch "Teenage dirtbag". It's one of my favourites and has a beautiful story and well made characters and dialogues.
This movie was so far beyond bad I can't even find any amusement from making fun of it. The titular Naomi is one of the most annoying characters ever committed to screen. Vapid, self-absorbed, lazy, irresponsible and mean-spirited. And then she's somehow surprised when her life goes to "ruins". And I use that term lightly considering she doesn't actually have any REAL problems to speak of. Just petty drama worthy of junior high brats. And the character is made all the more obnoxious by having some random, horrid actress cast in the role. Wouldn't be surprised if they fished her out of the dregs of the Disney channel....Ely at least has some redeemable qualities. But he's spineless and refuses to stand up for himself as Naomi continuously walks all over him to make herself feel better about her sorry life. Their entire relationship is toxic. The co-dependency is borderline pathologic. In short, the only people who could possibly enjoy this drivel are thirteen year old girls who want to have their pathetic lifestyles reaffirmed. Or grown adults who are thirteen year old girls at heart and refuse to grow up and join the real world.
Sometimes movies come along that make me regret wasting money on them. Occasionally though one comes along that I even regret pirating. This was so bad I want to actually have it eradicated from my brain. I don't have a huge amount of faith in gay movies to start with. Once in a blue moon a good one comes along, but mostly they suffer from terrible production values, nerve-shatteringly bad acting, or terrible dialogue or plot. And then ones comes along that is all that and also adds in being utter puerile drivel as well. Naomi and Ely are 20-something students living in New York. They are so narcissistic and shallow that it was like watching two selfies come to life. I think they are supposed to be hip? Cool? Fabulous? Everything is...girlie...notebooks with scribbles in...hearts they form with their hands...fairy lights strung around the bedroom. Sorry, did I forget to mention that Ely is a GUY! Seriously, why bother putting men into movies at all? He had two moms; why not make him a lesbian as well? The film would have been much the same. If I were a young gay guy thinking about coming out and I saw this movie I'd stay in my very secure closet. In fact, I'd turn it into a panic room with air holes and some very strong locks. Awful, awful, awful.