Watch Decoys 2: Alien Seduction For Free

Good movie but grossly overrated

Brilliant and touching

Awesome Movie

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

The original "Decoys" was an absolutely terrible movie, which is probably why its Canadian distributor only gave it a half-hearted theatrical release. But it must have made money somewhere down the line, because here we have this sequel, and it's just as bad as the original. This is a really cheap enterprise - it's shoddily filmed, has tacky sets, and the alien effects (both in CGI and non-CGI) look like there was hardly any money to spend. The acting is really appalling, with not one actor managing to be the least sympathetic. Though part of that is due to the script, which creates really brain-dead characters in a story that is barely there. If you are thinking of tuning in anyway for sex and nudity, be warned, because there is no sex and only a few seconds of nudity. Just before the closing credits, we are told, "The End maybe". How I hope that this is truly the end and there won't be a "Decoys 3"!

Luscious, but lethal alien women try with varying degrees of success to mate with human males on a college campus. It's up to traumatized lone survivor Luke Callahan (a sturdy and sympathetic performance by Corey Sevier) to stop them before it's too late. Director Jeffrey Lando and screenwriter Miguel Tejafa-Flores adroitly cover all the satisfying Grade B sci-fi/horror schlock bases: An entertaining story that unfolds at a constant snappy pace, a decent smattering of yummy bare gratuitous distaff skin, lovably tacky CGI effects, an amusing sense of brash humor (in a neat touch, the desirable alien dolls transform themselves into the sexual fantasies of their horny guy targets), several smoking hot babes, an engaging tongue-in-cheek tone, hideously ugly reptilian humanoid extraterrestrial beasts, and a lively and exciting climax. Moreover, it's acted with zest by an attractive and appealing cast: Tyler Johnson as the amiable Sam Compton, Kailin See as sweet and pretty dweebette Stephanie Baxter, Reamonn Joshee as bumbling virgin Henry Robbins, Kim Poirier as smart and enticing alien ring leader Constance Snowden, buxom blonde knockout Michelle Molineux as the foxy Delia, and slender looker Lindsay Maxwell as the slinky Jasmine. Moreover, there are solid pro contributions from veterans Tobin Bell as the easygoing Professor Irwin Buckton and Dina Meyer as earnest shrink Dr. Alana Geisner. John Spooner's slick cinematography provides an impressive glossy look. Steve London's spirited shuddery score does the rocking shivery trick. A really enjoyable flick.

Well, I didn't see the first one. I suppose I thought that this would be a major breast-fest, and it isn't. There are a few brief, but nice boobie scenes, some of which are ruined by the special effects, but you can't catch this film just for those. However, there's not much else. The plot is complete and utter B-movie sci-fi dreck. The direction and production values are OK. The acting is as good as the material will allow, in some cases, (See Dina Meyer, Kailin See, Tobin Bell) to acceptable, (see Kim Poirier) to atrocious (see most anybody else) Have to hand out gold stars for pulchritude to Kailin See, Dina Meyer, Kim Poirier, and Jessica Kennedy Parker. But other than checking out the pretty girls, there's not any reason to see this.

I saw Decoys 2: Alien Seduction before the original. It is just as well that I did, because the original was such a who-cares non-event that if I had seen it first, I never would have bothered with the sequel. So it is fortunate, then, that the makers of Decoys 2 got a few things right that the makers of Decoys got wrong. I will cover those in due course. In the film industry, many a studio has been saved by the sudden unexpected crossing of multiple genres into a new blend, or even the treatment of an old genre in unexpected ways. Decoys, on the other hand, attempted to combine the conservative sex farce of the 1980s with the science-fiction horror best exemplified by 1979's Alien. When done correctly, this kind of genre blend can inherit the strengths of its ingredients and go to glory, as was the case with 1986's Aliens. The problem here is that Decoys inherited the weaknesses of its ingredient genres thanks to a combination of poor script, poor acting, and poor direction. Decoys 2 avoids some, but not all, of these problems.The basic premise is more or less identical to that of Decoys. Young males wanting to bump uglies with the females on their tertiary campus make stupid bets with each other and do stupid things all in the pursuit of female flesh. The twist, of course, is that a small group of women from another planet land on the campus grounds. Their mission, as was explained a little better in the original, is a little more serious in its nature. Namely, they need to ensure the continuation of their species by mating with males with any biological similarity to them. The complication is that so far, with a singular exception, every male they have fornicated with has suffered a catastrophic fall in body temperature and died as a result. Whether this reflects American sexual phobia or was just meant as a gag about certain perceptions of interracial mating is really not relevant, as the implications are left entirely unexplored. In contrast to one scene in the original, this shallow approach is a minor letdown, but one of the very few.Corey Sevier returns to reprise his role as Luke, one of the few who survived the original. When last we saw him, he was discovering who the last of the aliens he had not dispatched was the hard way. We catch up with him in the midst of an appointment with a psychiatrist, portrayed with stunning panache by Dina Meyer. To call a comparison of their acting skills a battle between a spider and a dinosaur is flattering to Sevier, and not because one would be comparing him to a dinosaur. Replacing Matthew Hastings behind the camera, and the screenplay, are Jeffery Scott Lando and Miguel Tejada-Flores (respectively). Not that I will accuse the latter pair of being brilliant, but they do seem to understand how to keep an audience's attention for ninety minutes. As a result, Sevier seems far more convincing than was the case in Decoys. Rounding out the better performances is an extended cameo from Tobin Bell, who still proves without trying that he can be far more frightening than anything the special effects wizards can add to the negative.Unfortunately, the basic mechanics of the plot are what needed the biggest revision, and they go begging. Everything that happens in the original Decoys happens more or less the same way in Decoys 2. Adding to the problem is that the total lack of charisma or interest in the male leads has not been addressed. That these young lads could get sex in the middle of a Bangkok university would surprise a lot of people. And I do want to qualify that by making clear I mean nothing against the city or people of Bangkok in that statement. Anyway, the other half of the problem lies in the female leads. The only sense of depth in the original came when Kim Poirier's character had a major conflict of interest after falling in love with her prey. Here, such depth would be entirely non-existent without a subplot involving Dina Meyer's character raising some serious and justified questions about the sanity of Corey Sevier's. And that is where most of the improvement apparent in this sequel derives. Meyer and Bell are able to carry such a subplot even in spite of the director. The rest of the cast cannot.The inevitable question becomes that of who this film will appeal to or entertain. Such a question can literally keep a critic up at night, especially where turkeys like the Decoys series are concerned. A lot of the time, films can be used as a source of unintentional amusement by gathering an audience and sitting through it for the purpose of mocking it. The staggering ineptness of the director, writer, actors, or all of the above can be greater comedy than most intentional comedies. Unfortunately, Decoys 2 is not amusing enough for the most part to carry itself in this manner. Neither is it well-made enough to awe the viewer with the execution of its plot or premise as was the case with one genre-blender I previously mentioned for comparison. Instead, Decoys 2 finds itself almost entirely in no man's land. While I will watch Dina Meyer in just about anything, I would also urge her to find better vehicles for her talent, or fire her agent. Or if it was indeed her agent that recommended this role to her, do both.I gave Decoys 2 a five out of ten. As a waste of ninety minutes, it is worth watching once. But you can easily find something better to do with your time.