Watch Down the Drain For Free

Just perfect...

Good movie, but best of all time? Hardly . . .

Wow! What a bizarre film! Unfortunately the few funny moments there were were quite overshadowed by it's completely weird and random vibe throughout.

This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

Crime caper "Down the drain" poses an immediate question : who is this movie supposed to be for ? The considerable amounts of nudity and violence seem to indicate that this is not a movie for children, but on the other hand it contains jokes and gags so slow, so flat, so addled that they are an insult to adult brains. In fact the plot as a whole makes one doubt whether "homo sapiens" is an intelligent species. Perhaps there exists a niche audience somewhere, consisting of people who think that the various "Police Academy" movies were way too difficult and sophisticated. A misbegotten farce on the bank heist theme, "Down the drain" overflows with bad writing, bad dialogue and bad acting, to the point where it becomes hard to see how it made its way past initial project phase. It is hard to see, too, how it ever made more than ten dollars - unless some kind of "The producers" trick was used, by which abyssal losses translated into a life of ease in Tahiti. ("Pour me another 'Sex on the Beach', Ted, and I'll tell you how the happiest day in my life was the day I gave a lift to Melvin B. Lipmann, the best little accountant in the States !") The main characters aren't even likeable. For instance, there's a scene where the hero and his girlfriend are caught in a gun fight. The girlfriend is hit, perhaps even fatally, while the hero runs and flees without a thought for his beloved. In your face, Romeo and Julia ! One shimmer of light in the darkness : there is a series of sequences where the blonde heroine (I'm being generous on both counts) wears a rather fetching blouse with a pattern of colourful postcards or travel labels against a black background. I like the blouse and I'm going to look for something like it on Ebay.

Victor Scalia (Andrew Stevens) is a sleazy lawyer in L.A. His girlfriend Kathy Miller (Teri Copley) wants a commitment. He gets cat burglar Jed Stewart off. Buckley and Carpatti helps safecracker Tom Dart escape from the Feds. Scalia leads the criminal group to rob a bank vault. A mystery client is paying $20 million for a secret something in one of the deposit boxes. Don Santiago set up the deal. Scalia brings everything but they're only after a microchip. This is a bad B-movie. It's an attempt at comedy that fails completely. There is a pending reveal that is mildly compelling. The action is weakly made. This is bad but not exceptionally bad. It's a mess. Its biggest sin is the bad comedic writing and even worst comedic acting. When the jokes keep falling flat, it leaves a bad taste.

OK. First off this is a very rare and unheard of film. So I would like to tell you how I stumbled upon it.One night as a kid, I was just thinking what would a title to a good Rated R movie be, and "Down The Drain" first came to my mind. I then actually looked in Maltin to see if such a title exisited and it did. It was this one. Not very good rating.Anyway, throughout the years I've always thought of that moment and then just last week wondered if I could get it. It was on Netflix and decided to see it.It is a very bad movie, but it is the type of bad movie that is very refreshingly enjoyable and very funny.What it's about is this crooked lawyer who rounds up a gang of crooks to rob this vault and then turn them into another con for $20,000,000. But practically everyone in this film is so greedy and stupid, but so stupid that they can't even fail. That's what makes it funny. The things they do are so stupid, its like you'd think it won't work or its suicide and it does work out well for them.One particular funny scene is when this fat guy gets stuck in a hole and he is given a soda to drink. He is then burped and he is able to be pulled out. I mean thru/o the entire movie you keep asking yourselves, 'well what are they going to do now?' and the next scene plays out and you're thinking, 'I didn't expect them to do that.'Overall, this is an OK film. It does get tedious (and you'll be asking, 'when does it end') but it is a very decent popcorn flick, and it keeps you guessing.

In most respects this is a pretty dreadful film, with broad overacting (hello Andrew Stevens), appalling racial stereotyping (thanks, screenwriter Moshe Hadar), and a predictable outcome. At the same time there is something endearing about the film, a barely disguised T and A remake of The Thomas Crown Affair. At the very least the action is non-stop and indiscriminate viewers will be pulled along in the story's undertow. I can't really recommend it, but if you happen across it late one night on cable, you'll probably enjoy it.