Watch Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die For Free

Absolutely Fantastic

This is a tender, generous movie that likes its characters and presents them as real people, full of flaws and strengths.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

"Kiss The Girls And Make Them Die" (quite a distasteful title, by the way) opens with an ambitious and well-executed action sequence (a fight / shoot out atop the Jesus Christ statue in Rio), but it wouldn't be much of an exaggeration to say that very little happens for the next hour or so, as the film simply coasts along on its beautiful Brazilian locations. As a spoof, it's not really very funny ("The Last Of The Secret Agents?" actually has more laughs), and neither is its main running gag about the hero finding and eating bananas everywhere he goes (well, at least one of them comes in handy in disposing a henchman near the end!). Granted, the film has its moments (the game of one-upmanship between Connors and Dorothy Provine, the camouflaged car, Terry-Thomas doing karate (!), etc.), but they are few and far between. And I was bitterly disappointed to discover that Margaret Lee's and Marilu Tolo's roles were nothing more than brief cameos. ** out of 4.

MASTER PLAN: infertilize the USA's population by eliminating the sexual drive (cripes!) via a launched satellite. This begins as an obvious spoof, showing some scientist getting shot in the jungles while exploring a local tribe's infertility problem, with satirical narration (by actor Michael Hordern, maybe?). It's a very goofy start. But, the action switches to Rio de Janeiro, a nice bit on Corcovado, in and around the famed statue, as an agent played by lead Mike Connors fights off a villain. This sets the tone for the rest of the film, a more sophisticated parody of the James Bond thriller than I first thought, in the vein of "Our Man Flint." There's the typical stuff: use of scorpions & piranha, the odd henchman and the main villain (Vallone) who has sinister grand plans for the world. Provine shows up as a femme fatale with a severely British accent. Terry-Thomas then pops up as an effeminate chauffeur who can handle himself very well in a fight.The exotic locations in Brazil are pretty good; as mentioned in other comments, some of this, including some plot points, seems to have been copied by an actual later Bond film, "Moonraker," though one could argue this happened because this copies earlier Bond films such as "Thunderball" and "Dr.No." The story has some slow parts in the first half, meandering as the hero follows villains and vice-versa. This is reflected in the film's music score, which has a lazy, easy style to it, even during action sequences. As the hero, Connors also ambles his way through, usually laconic or sarcastic, depending on the scene, but projecting toughness. This was just before he began his 8-year run as tough TV private eye "Mannix." To give you an idea of the humor, there's a recurring theme of the hero's fondness for bananas. Things pick up in the latter half when the action shifts to the sci-fi stronghold of the villain. I've heard that this film is a favorite of Quentin Tarantino's. Hero:6 Villains:6 Femme Fatales:6 Henchmen:6 Fights:7 Stunts/Chases:6 Gadgets:6 Auto:4 Locations:7 Pace:6 overall:6

Am i the only person in the world who has noticed that the Brazil/Rio sequence of "Moonraker" is an uncredited remake of this major parts of this film, swapping the sexes of the CIA and Brit agents?Well, it is.Even the sequence in the bedroom where Bond and the CIA grrl show each other their gadgets is straight out of "Kiss the Girls...".

Unlike the MATT HELM or DEREK FLINT films made around the same time, KISS THE GIRLS AND MAKE THEM DIE is so terrible that it's absolutely great fun to watch ! 1 year shy of his stint as MANNIX, Mike Connors is sent to Rio de Janiero to stop the evil Mr. Ardonian and his sterility inducing satellite ! Helping Connors is Dorothy Provine as an oh so propper lady spy. Provine is chauffered around Brazil by fey Terry Thomas while she sips tea from a full silver service ! Pass the Grey Poupon ! Assisting Mr. Ardonian is a creepy looking guy who resembles Peter Lorre if he'd been a platinum blond. The usual bevy of gorgeous girls are present, and most look like either Joan Collins or Nancy Kovack ! This movie is an absolute treat, a sort of guilty pleasure to watch like PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE. Make the popcorn and enjoy !