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Simply Perfect

Lack of good storyline.

Good start, but then it gets ruined

It is a whirlwind of delight --- attractive actors, stunning couture, spectacular sets and outrageous parties.

This is a true brutal horror film, no fancy pants story that is garnished with stylistic CGI gore effects but a full-on splatter fest. The story centres around a Woman (Martina Ittenbach) who is in the process of breaking up with her dead beat husband. A divorce, or a DARD divorce yeah! She is seeing lawyers to gain custody of their two young kids but at the same time she wants to give the husband maybe a last shot of redemption. The first twenty minutes is just your set-up and character development as per usual, but after this the fun really starts. The gore in this movie is extreme to say the least, we are treated with severe torture, beatings, bloody and violent shoot outs, dismemberment and some really cheesy dialogue. Look I will admit this is no Goodfellas when it comes to acting, it doesn't pretend to be either. Martina Ittenbach does an okay job in my opinion and quite frankly I was really pulling for her during some oh her ordeals in this movie. Olaf Ittenbach is one of my favourite directors, a man who is a master with special effects that are both realistic and disgusting. The only drawback I will admit is the idiotic sound engineer who cranked up the music towards the end, drowning out important dialogue. If you are a fan of brutal horror and don't mind a cheesy yet fun story check out Dard Divorce, it is perfect for drunken horror nights or for freaking out your parents.

A German woman who's lived in the States for at least 15 years marries an American and has two children with thick German accents. This is how the movie starts. Could it really get any better? The answer is no. No it cannot. There's very little recommend this "movie". I believe it might be the only film that contains only male nudity. The movie got made and somebody saw it. That's about the only win here. It's also made the list of Most Violent Films Ever Made. And it probably deserves that. With the caveats dispensed, the movie is Scheiße. There is not one believable performance. The script makes porn movies look intelligent. Every now and again, a glimmer of hope shines only to find the shadow of a miserable line, bad special effect or a ridiculous plot point snuff out its spark. People die from a shot to the shoulder. I don't mean bleeding to death. Apparently in this world your brain lives in your shoulder. Worse, the people who live in this world think getting shot in the shoulder means death. Which is odd, because after you've had your face smashed with a hammer a dozen times, the arteries in your arm severed and your limbs pumped with a local anesthetic and you can STILL manage to drag yourself up a flight of stairs and then walk across the floor, you'd THINK you'd have a better understanding of what the human body can take. The biggest crime is the end. Don't worry, I'm not giving anything away because the score almost drowned out the actors so I'm not 100% sure what happened. This happened in a few places killing any chance of understand the "action". Did the filmmaker not watch his own movie? Was he so bored that he said "f*** it. I got paid and it's not like I'm making anything of value"? 2 stars because otherwise someone might stumble across it on the "worst" list and watch it by accidents.

To start with, the only reason i have given this film a rating of 1 out of 10 is because 0 is not an option.This film simply must be the worst i have ever seen. The acting (and i use the term loosely) is just ridiculously pathetic; it is almost as though they are not trying. The main character wanders around the entire film almost devoid of any form of emotion, and her accent (apart from being annoying) is just unnecessary. Worst of all, this deficiency is accentuated by a detective who over-acts everything, thinking he is Horatio from CSI: Miami (who annoyingly also tends to over-act his part). Unfortunately, this is not the worst of it. Whoever wrote the story to this film ought to be shot; or at least banned from making films in the future. The story catapults itself from side to side, having characters draw unlikely and premature conclusions (e.g. the woman finds a note written in something red on the floor of her house, so she instantly calls 911 telling them it is a 'death threat', despite the note being written in a foreign language she doesn't understand). The writing is just lazy and amateurish, simply presenting the audience with facts about the characters as they are needed, rather than putting in the effort to actually establish a back-story. Furthermore, it does nothing to establish a steady flow or any level of individuality, simply treating the act of writing a screenplay as though you were baking a cake - monotonously, step by step. If you are so curious as to watch this abomination, pay particular attention to the opening scenes, where firstly, everything is told to the audience through narration, rather than spending the money to film some flashback scenes. Secondly, watch the introduction of characters - the two children enter perfectly one after another, so mechanically and unnatural (which reminds me of another point - why do the children not have accents? This just heightens the superfluity of the main character's). Finally, watch how the central concept of the divorce is introduced (through the narration)... listen... oh, all of a sudden she is a lawyer who uses all of her legal skill to keep her children... how convenient (and lazy, come on! Really? She's going through a legal battle so she just happens to be a lawyer?). Also, take note of the way it is introduced, you are just told - you don't see her in any way working as a lawyer; in fact for the first 20 mins you would swear she was nothing more than a house-wife (and to me the character appears as though she may struggle with the intellectuality of this alone, notwithstanding that of being a lawyer). This laziness on the writer's part just kills the entire story, for it makes it everything it attempts unbelievable. The only thing you may be able to give this film any sort of credit for is the gore and violence. However it takes this, the only thing going for it too far, making it become unbelievable and appear overwhelmingly fake.I must admit, I am actually left dumbfounded as to how such a film could have secured financing, and how the filmmakers could have picked themselves up off the floor from laughing so hard as to cut the final film together. This film ought to be studied in media courses around the world as an example of what not to do when making a film... Truly Pathetic!

After reading some of the reviews here, I was actually scared to approach this movie. I thought I was in store for something in the lines of Irreversible, you know, that movie that disturbed the hell out of you—where the guy gets a fire extinguisher smashed into his face, and the girl gets brutally, and I mean brutally raped for ten minutes in a subway station, and all that jazz. Granted, there is a lot of violence in this film, but come on, they have been pulling innards from corpses since George Romero's Night of the Living Dead. Could be I watched an edited cut, could be. Yes, the weird accents of a lot of the players are annoying, but that kind of makes it even creepier, like in Suspiria creepy. I still don't understand how the daughter survived but I'm not going to watch it a second time to figure it out, it doesn't matter. What we have here is not exactly as obscene as the Hong Kong shocker Run and Kill (check that out for cruelty) and more in the lines of a twisted version of Trainspotting or something. I found this much more watchable than all those stupid Saw sequels. And there is even a bit of a twist at the ending, making it much less of the snuff film it has been reported as been.