Watch Hard to Die For Free

It's no definitive masterpiece but it's damn close.

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

Excellent and certainly provocative... If nothing else, the film is a real conversation starter.

This movie feels like it was made purely to piss off people who want good shows

Breasts.How many of you, back in the 90s, actually rented it thinking you were getting "Die Hard?" None of you? Now how many rented it because it had a bra on the cover? Yeah, that's what I thought.Its another one of those movies I caught on HBO too late when I was a kid. Thank you latch-key childhood.You know the film already, it's Slumber Party Massacre. You know the film already, they hire a whole bunch of women, they film each one of them naked, they find an excuse to dress them in undies that, really, are only worn in the bedroom with the intention that they be taken of.......and then they work a loose...a VERY loose plot around it and have all the women scream and run around, which I am pretty sure movies like this inspired Bay Watch.So, really, why read this review, you already knew what you were going to get before you rented it.

This past week, I've been watching the Sorority House Massacre movies and the Slumber Party Massacre movies. Hard to Die is supposed to be the 3rd in the Sorority House Massacre 'trilogy' because the Orville Ketchum character from #2 is back in this one. The original was a cheesy B-Movie slasher about an escaped mental patient going after girls in a sorority house. I loved it and can't stop thinking about it. I don't even know how or why this movie got connected to it. It's basically Sorority House Massacre 2 done again, but in a skyscraper. A group of women all have to work late. They randomly decide to get nude and shower and put on sexy lingerie. They find a mysterious box that unleashes an evil spirit that'll contaminate your soul. The killer was pretty disappointing and obvious. He's basically like Michael or Jason, you can shoot and stab him a million times, but he can't be killed. Just do yourself a favor and avoid this one. I would not recommend HARD TO DIE (aka) SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE 3!!!

Jim Wynorski is, without a doubt, the king of B-movie sequels. He directed some of my favorite follow-ups, including 976-EVIL II, BIG BAD MAMA II, and this, SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE III, also known as HARD TO DIE.Five women working in a high-rise lingerie company building are forced to work overtime. A package mistakenly arrives at the address, and after they open it, they unwittingly release the soul of Hockstetter, a psychotic madman who died years before. Soon, the girls begin getting picked off one by one. Could the killer be Orville Ketchum, the creepy janitor and supposed hero of the sorority house massacre years before? Whoever it is, the girls decide the situation can best be solved with heavy firepower! HARD TO DIE had one of the most intriguing ideas I've seen in a while: take DIE HARD, and replace Bruce Willis with lingerie-clad women with machine guns. Brilliant, right? Close, but no cigar. However, HARD TO DIE is still a fun movie. The first fifty minutes or so is straight-up slasher, with an unseen person picking off these girls one by one (off-screen).However, the bad acting and hilarious dialogue kept me amused for that period of time. Then they break out the machine guns in the final twenty minutes. And it is glorious. Wynorski knows who his audience is and he knows how to entertain them. He jam-packs the movie with loads of female nudity (he even cameos as a porn director), lots of gun fire, and almost no plot.The film is hilarious for both intended and unintended reasons. For unintended, we get loads of bad acting and poorly written dialogue. For intended we get an over-the-top display of violence towards poor Orville as he is shot multiple times, stabbed multiple times, and even falls off the top of the high rise! Then there's the extremely goofy final shot and how the girls feel the need to change into the new lingerie after their clothes get a little wet! It's brilliant! However, I do have a few complaints. For one, the film is just too short for its own good. Jim Wynorski has proved before that he can make a 70-minute runtime work (CHOPPING MALL), but here, it just feels like the studios gave him a specific 77-minute runtime while he was halfway through filming and realized he needed to speed things up. I think if the girls had gotten the guns earlier on (maybe with about forty or so minutes left on the runtime) it would have been better.Still, HARD TO DIE is a really fun movie and is sure to please for fans of B-movie cheddar. The plot is brilliant, the humor is top-notch, and the fun spirit is fully intact.Even though it's not the greatest, it's still quintessential viewing fans of bad movies.

***SPOILERS, IF I CAN REMEMBER THEM***A college roommate introduced me to this unforgettable little film, based on my love for laughably bad movies, and it did not disappoint. Purely a vehicle for slasher T&A, the movie makes no excuses and doesn't really take it itself all that seriously - what movie COULD, after having a man fall off a 15-story building and walk away?To me, the shower scenes were just a softcore running gag, but I suppose some people could be turned-on, by them. It's just funny, for me, thinking about the writers' meeting that must have taken place ('Okay, the story's finished. Now, how do we get all of them into the shower?').The highlight of the film, for me, was the irrepressible Orville coming back from one death after another, and not seeming to hold all the abuses against anyone, when it's over. Favorite scene: Orville pulls the mail spindle he has been stabbed with out of his heart, and uses a stapler to attach a bandage to his chest.Worth the 99-cent rental fee.