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Very well executed

So much average

Absolutely the worst movie.

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

A seedy writer of sleazy pulp novels (Michael Caine) is recruited by a quirky, reclusive ex-actor (Mickey Rooney) to help him write his biography at his house in Malta.This is Mike Hodges' follow-up to "Get Carter" (1971) and takes a bit of a different turn. Though there does remain that seedy element, only this time transported to Malta. Fans of Italian exploitation and Z-grade science fiction are sure to recognize Nadia Cassini ("Starcrash", 1978).Hodges spent a long time coaxing noir veteran Lizabeth Scott out of retirement to fly to Malta for the shooting. Scott said that while she enjoyed the beauty of Malta, she was not pleased that most of her footage was cut out — eight scenes in all. Hodges for his part reported that Scott was challenging to work with while shooting. Scott "hadn't make a picture in 15 years and I had to really coax her into coming back." But Scott overcame her stage fright and Hodges was pleased with Scott's performance.

Murder! Mystery! Michael Cain! Mickey Rooney! Lizabeth Scott, for goodness sake! How could this not be good.I'll tell you how.This tale of a pulp writer who gets involved in real murder features an unfocused story, a diffident Caine and a low budget that leads to the sort of artificial voice inserts and poor lighting you would expect from a TV movie of the era.To some extent, you could argue that it's not so much inept as it is representative of the early 70s, where directors like Robert Altman tossed out a lot of the cinematic gloss of earlier eras in favor of a messier, more "realistic" style. But the movie fails even in that regard compared to something like Altman's more watchable The Long Goodbye, which came out the following year.The beginning isn't terrible, offering a little humor, but as the movie wanders into its absurd story, it gets harder and harder to sit through. About two-thirds of the way through I gave up and read how it ended on wikipedia.I wouldn't recommend this for fans of pulp detective novels, but if you like that 1970s pseudo-naturalistic style you might find this more tolerable than I did.

Dryly irreverent, but sadly unfunny satire of detective movies, with stony-faced Michael Caine playing a British author of trashy crime stories traveling to the Mediterraean to assist in writing the memoirs of a would-be gangster; soon, he realizes he's being followed and his life is in danger. Caine narrates the proceedings with considerable sly wit and low-keyed sarcasm, but his actual performance is bereft of energy (Caine's shrill bursts of anger or frustration seem to come out of nowhere, and he connects with nobody on the screen). Other cast members (particularly Mickey Rooney, a silver-haired Lionel Stander, and Lizabeth Scott) do very well in colorfully outré roles, though Al Lettieri has an ungainly part as an apparent cross-dressing homosexual (Lettieri gets insulted without being able to defend himself, an unenviable position). Writer-director Mike Hodges has the germ of a good idea (satirize the detective movies of the 1940s without compromising the hard-boiled talk and milieu), but he hasn't a very sharp sense of humor. When a Bogart lookalike--asking a question about a falcon--is the best joke, what follows is anemic indeed. ** from ****

i love this movie because of Caines Mike Hammer style commentary throughout,sometimes witty sometimes plain wrong his private musings are insightful and great.The moment the film starts you just know its going to be quirky'which with most pictures would be the kiss of death.But with this movie it raises it above the average to very good.In the acting stakes Caine is as strong as i have seen him in any of his 70s movies,as is Lionel Stander.But the pleasant surprise comes from Mickey Rooney who as an actor does not rate high in my opinion does a great comedic job sending himself up both as an actor wannabe gangster,and most funny height wise.To right this off as just a comedy would be wrong,some poignant moments seem to show a country sliding slowly and surely into dictatorship. You will either love or hate this film,i do not think there is an in-between.I think most people who give it a try knowing that it is not a mainstream movie will like it.