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Undescribable Perfection

the audience applauded

a film so unique, intoxicating and bizarre that it not only demands another viewing, but is also forgivable as a satirical comedy where the jokes eventually take the back seat.

Blistering performances.

But that's what the DVD cover said. I watched it a year ago, yet couldn't remember a single thing about it! So watched it again, and didn't recall a single scene either!There are hundreds of scenes of course, but every one is pointless and silly and sometimes ridiculous, ie, the guy with a machine gun lets off a magazine, but doesn't hit anyone, even at close range? The blow-gun scene is also simply not realistic. They might work in the Amazon, but to imply that one could fire a dart about 20 metres, up to the balcony with 100% accuracy is nonsense.Is there a story here? Not much. Cop goes after chief hood, tries to retrieve the man's dolly-bird, a real air-head. At least her (Jill Ireland) acting is good, but the role is so awful I can't see why she accepted it. The rest of the cast simply don't matter.My original rating was a 4, which is hard to justify now, but I'll let it stand.

Love and Bullets (1979)** (out of 4) Charlie Congers (Charles Bronson), an Arizona cop, is sent to Switzerland by the government to try and track down the girlfriend (Jill Ireland) of an infamous gangster (Rod Steiger). The cops only goal is to bring her back but soon the gangster puts a hit out on her life.LOVE AND BULLETS is a pretty flat, boring and lifeless picture, which is somewhat shocking when you consider that it was meant to be a major blockbuster. All sorts of money was spent on the production but very little excitement actually made it to the screen, which is too bad for Bronson fans as the actor turns in a decent performance and the setting is certainly great enough to where something more should have came from it.There are all sorts of problems with this movie but we'll start with the fact that it just has an overall cheap and tired look. There are quite a few action scenes throughout the running time but they're just downright boring for the most part and I'd argue that there's no energy to be found in any of them. What's worse is the fact that there's clearly meant to be some suspense as the cop and woman barely get away from the hit men but that never happens. The lack of suspense is a major letdown.Of course, it doesn't help that you really don't like the annoying woman. Ireland is given the task of playing an idiot with a Southern accent and I think it's fair to say that this is probably the worst performance she ever gave. The accent is just all wrong and comes off more annoying than anything else. Steiger really isn't any better as he's rather hammy and the sometimes stuttering has zero effect. Henry Silva and Strother Martin are always fun to see. As for Bronson, I thought he was good here in that typical Bronson kind of performance.LOVE AND BULLETS isn't the disaster some people make it out to be but there's no question that it falls well short of the actor's best movies.

Begun by John Huston, who departed the production supposedly because of that old standby, "creative differences", the action-melodrama "Love and Bullets" is mostly noteworthy for its exotic locale, as well as some breathtaking photography and a super Lalo Schifrin score. The way that it often plays out may lead one to believe that it's meant to be seen as tongue in cheek; it does get silly at times. Still, it's attractive, reasonably well directed (by Stuart Rosenberg), and nicely acted.Charles Bronson actually plays a guy named Charlie; Charlie Congers is an Arizona detective sent by the FBI to Switzerland to pick up a gangsters' girlfriend, a gal named Jackie Pruit (played by Bronsons' real-life love and frequent co-star Jill Ireland). The feds desperately want her to testify against her boyfriend, who's portrayed in a typically hammy fashion by Rod Steiger. He's hired assassins including a creep named Vittorio (Henry Silva) to silence her.Overall, "Love and Bullets" is fun to a degree. It's not really remarkable in any way, but it moves along well and has some good moments. Bronson is in fine form and he and Ireland (whose bimbo shtick ultimately wears a little thin) naturally have good chemistry. Steiger is amusing; in one interesting character touch, he has a stutter. A solid bunch of familiar faces have supporting roles, although some, like Silva and Strother Martin (who plays Steigers' lawyer) are under utilized. Also co-starring are Bradford Dillman, Michael V. Gazzo, Paul Koslo, Val Avery, Billy Gray (the kid from "The Day the Earth Stood Still" all grown up), Albert Salmi, John Hallam, Robin Clarke, and Andy Romano.The movie gets off to a shaky start, but soon recovers, and fortunately isn't too predictable. Fans of this cast should find it to be a mild diversion.Six out of 10.

What could have been an excellent crime thriller is turned into a mediocre film thanks to the uninspired direction of Stuart ("Cool Hand Luke") Rosenberg. With Wendall ("Death Wish") Mayes as writer, I had high hopes for this film. Bronson plays an Arizona lieutenant who is after a drug lord (Rod Steiger), responsible for the death of a fellow cop. The FBI butts in, telling him that if he wants to help out he can persuade Steiger's mistress, (Jill Ireland, doing a good Dolly Parton) to give testimony to the DAs. Bronson travels to Switzerland to retrieve her. Lots of boring shots of him taking trains, planes and automobiles to do this. Steiger does a great job playing a stuttering mafiosa don and the film boasts many excellent character actors (Henry Silva, Paul Koslo, Val Avery, Strother Martin, Bradford Dillman, etc.) A few good action scenes, but in the end, we needed more bullets and less love...