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How sad is this?

if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

Lee van Cleef plays professional assassin Harry Chapman (also known as The Perfect Killer or The Satanic Mechanic) in this entertaining (if low-rent) Spanish-Italian co-production. Chapman gets sprung from jail early in order to fulfill an important contract, but naturally things don't go quite as planned and he finds himself the stalkee, not the stalker. Co-star John Ireland adds a modicum of Hollywood cachet to the film but doesn't have a great deal to do. If, however, your idea of a good action film involves knife fights between macho thugs and transvestites, you'll be in seventh heaven here. Star Classics VHS features letter-boxed credits but is otherwise lazily panned and scanned. On the plus side, however, Stelvio Cipriani's score is a funky delight!

Perfect Killer is an odd and rather stupid crime film made in Italy in 1977, although most of the comments that I've read on it seem to be unduly harsh as while the film is silly and trashy, it is at least watchable. The film takes organised crime as its main theme and mixes it with plenty of action. The main selling point is undoubtedly the presence of the great Lee Van Cleef who stars as a hired killer. He's found himself in jail but takes an opportunity to escape after given one by a mysterious 'organisation'. He's then given a job as a killer for the organisation, but decides to leave when he is asked to kill a friend. However, it turns out that there was no 'get out' clause in the contract and the organisation sends out a killer after him. The plot of the film is good in that it moves very quickly, and everything that I've described (and a bit more) happens in the first half hour. After that, however, the film really begins to slide downhill as the action becomes less interesting and things don't flow as well, which is a bit of a shame. The film is mostly satisfying in terms of violence, as there's plenty, and there's a fair bit of sex too. There's also a few silly scenes which manage to amuse; a sequence that sees Van Cleef's nemesis fighting a trio of transvestites is memorable though not necessarily for the right reasons! Overall, I can't recommend anyone going out of their way to see this film; but it's really not all that bad and is decent enough for an hour and a half's entertainment.

My sincerest condolences to anyone who has had the misfortune of watching this film. This is hands down one of the worst films to ever make it to video stores. I only hope you or your loved ones did not make the mistake of watching this movie alone -- it could easily be suicide. However, if you and your friends have a sadistic passion for seeing horrible movies, this should be at the top of your to do list. My favorite scenes include stock footage of a plane taking off (when in fact the plane should be landing), using a caged bird as a projectile, throwing a woman by her breast, and don't even get me started on the ending... Just amazingly awful. Plus, did I mention there are no mechanics or "satanics" in this whole film? Hahaha.

really cheaply made but watchable flick has a decent score and some funny dialog and the word chow is used throughout a slow paced first half but the second half it comes on strong the ending is cool but overall a watchable mess the acting is decent Lee Van Cleef gives a great performance here and he is the film in my eyes Carmen G Carvera is good here and is quite pretty the rest of the acting stinks however gotta love that ending see you in hell kid overall a mildly entertaining b movie thats worth a watch if ya have nothing better to do ** out of 5 i rented this under the title Satanic Mechanic overall nothing else worth noting here folks oh except that ending remember that ending