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Bikini Girls on Dinosaur Planet
Softcore erotica star Misty Mundae is one of the main attractions of the campy and sexy BIKINI GIRLS ON DINOSAUR PLANET, which recalls Raquel Welch and the stop-motion creatures of ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. A pair of time traveling aliens find themselves on a strange planet, where the environment is exactly as it was millions of years ago on Earth. While exploring this unique place, they stumble across three primitive babes (Mundae and other softcore stars Ruby LaRocca and Lilly Tiger), who quickly engage the aliens in a steamy cave-lesbian love fest. But will the rampaging, stop-motion dinosaurs roaming the land interrupt their prehistoric passion?
Release : | 2005 |
Rating : | 2.8 |
Studio : | Seduction Cinema, Factory 2000, |
Crew : | Cinematography, Director, |
Cast : | Erin Brown Tina Krause Ruby LaRocca Lilly Tiger Zoe Moonshine |
Genre : | Adventure Science Fiction |
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Reviews
It's no definitive masterpiece but it's damn close.
To all those who have watched it: I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do.
The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.
The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one
Absolutely no dinosaurs. Seriously. I watched this entire film and there wasn't a single velociraptor. Not one. There were so many opportunities for dinosaur. I mean, lesbians are great, but they're not as good as a tyrannosaurus Rex. How can you classify a planet as 'Dinosaur' without any dinosaurs. If there were dinosaurs and they were lesbian dinosaurs that would be fine but lesbians without any dinosaurs is misleading at best. Absolutely no dinosaurs. Seriously. I watched this entire film and there wasn't a single velociraptor. Not one. There were so many opportunities for dinosaur. I mean, lesbians are great, but they're not as good as a tyrannosaurus Rex. How can you classify a planet as 'Dinosaur' without any dinosaurs. If there were dinosaurs and they were lesbian dinosaurs that would be fine but lesbians without any dinosaurs is misleading at best.
By all that is unholy, this was so bad it was literally painful to watch. But I suppose with a personal digital video camera and some willing performers (not actors, as the acting here was just heinous), then you can make a video.The story was unbelievably stupid. Some scientists were traveling to a planet to study lesbian Neanderthals. Right, well let's just see what went wrong here. First of all, the CGI for the spaceship and outer space was just abysmal and looked like something from a computer game back in the 1990's. And the dinosaurs, are you kidding me? I have never seen anything that bad.As for the Neanderthals themselves, right, well I didn't know that those primitives had silver rings, pierced ears with jewelry in them, and factory cut and sewn panties. Not to mention painstakingly obviously dyed hair colors.Everything just screams bad here. This isn't just low budget, it is far beyond that. Yeah, this is meant as soft core porn, I get that, but come on; there is bad and then there is this! There is no acting in the video at all - notice how I don't use the term movie, because this just doesn't qualify as that - and it is all just about showing off women getting busy with one another. And it seems like this would be something that should have been aired late, late at night on a scrambled and obscure TV channel."Bikini Girls on Dinosaur Planet" is just not worth the time or effort.
This flick here is one that people do search so therefore I will review another Tina Krause flick that not that many people has seen. Chloroformed And Cloned Co-Ed. It is out on shock-o-rama VHS and is OOP and very obscure. It's just a piece of trash with really bad acting but what makes it collectible is the fact that Tina Krause is in it, known for her nudity and that is what she does here. From the first minute until the last minute she is walking around with her juggs to show. Only a few times she goes full frontal. The tape I received didn't had any year on it it was made and there's nothing to find on the Web. The story goes that Suzy Johnson (Tina Krause) and her boyfriend are adding some new kicks towards there sexlife. But Suzy ends up dead after an experiment with chloroform and electrocution. A deranged medical student clones Suzy 16 times. But they all escape and enters a house with a German butcher who only likes to violate them. The story looks promising but it all looks like a spoof. Bad bad acting and only the juggs of Tina are acting better than the thespians themselves. It's ultra low budget, just look at the electrocution scene, the light goes out and back on and it repeats but you can easily hear that someone is playing with the switch. Total crap but collectible due a few reasons, first, Tina Krause, but also in the acting is John Bacchus who went further to direct a lot of erotic spoofs and flicks. Maybe the best known Play-mate Of The Apes (2002). Alan Spence just turned up one more time as cinematographer in The Vampire's Seduction (1998). Joe Ned aalso went further as writer and producer in the erotic business. G.W Lawrence was also involved but can't say if it was him as seen in Play Dead (1998)? If you want to see early shock-o-rama's just before Misty Mundae became involved, also seen a lot together with Tina Krause then it's a hunt worthy. Give it 2 on 10Gore 0/5 Nudity 3/5 Effects 0/5 Story 1/5 Comedy 0/5
It's apparent after only a few minutes of watching this mess that the filmmakers just didn't care about the final product. Yes, I recognize that this film was meant as a soft core porn, and that engrossing plots rarely occur in this type of film, but this is simply a disaster from start to finish.Occasionally, the film tries to be funny, but when a farting and defecating dinosaur is the comedic highlight, you know your film isn't funny. Slightly more often, we'll get some dialogue in an attempt to fake a plot. But the main reason for this type of movie is obviously the nudity and sex, and here, it fails, too.Sure, there is frequent nudity from the generally unappealing cast, but the sex scenes are, to be very kind, weak. It's bizarre watching a film when the women are all so ready, willing, and experienced at on screen nudity, and then seem so hesitant to even touch each other. It's almost as if the cast was repulsed by one another, the simulated sex was so wholly unbelievable. Observing a breast exam would probably be more erotic than this.So, if you're looking for lame fake sex featuring mediocre-looking women along with pitifully bad writing, acting, and comedy, this film is for you. Otherwise, do yourself a favor and watch a Surrender Cinema film next time you want soft porn. Admittedly, their plots are awful, too, but at least the women are attractive in their movies.