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It's no definitive masterpiece but it's damn close.

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

It's a good bad... and worth a popcorn matinée. While it's easy to lament what could have been...

1955's "Desert Sands" is a long forgotten United Artists programmer benefiting from its colorful action sequences. The legendary John Carradine stands out in a decent cast, as Arab wine merchant Jala, who ruthlessly targets his own brother for murder, done by marauders disguised as French Legionnaires. His niece (Marla English) and nephew (Keith Larsen) grow up just as he wanted, hating the French and constantly in attack mode. Keith Larsen's career virtually tanked by the next decade, such titles as "Women of the Prehistoric Planet" and "The Omegans" giving way to self-directed items like "Mission Batangas," "The Trap on Cougar Mountain," "Run to the High Country," "Young and Free," "Whitewater Sam," and his cult classic "Night of the Witches." In between hard bitten turns in "Big House, U. S. A." and the iconic "Kiss Me Deadly" (as Mike Hammer), Ralph Meeker actually gets to play a more likable hero. In just her second starring role, the gorgeous Marla English disappeared from the screen as quickly as she lit the fire, in a pair of low budget AIP horrors, "The She-Creature" and "Voodoo Woman." Philip Tonge would reunite with Carradine in his last film, 1959's "Invisible Invaders," but this was John's final appearance opposite J. Carrol Naish, from "Ramona," "Blood and Sand," "Waterfront," and "House of Frankenstein."

Reviewers panning the whiteness of the Arabs, the diction of the Arab revolutionist? It's a drama, made in the USA as entertainment, not a documentary. The Arab princess, Marla English,had me excited in the 1950s and I loved how her servant assisted her escape from close confinement. Of course it's all implausible, but I don't watch movies for plausibility. Of course the officers of the Legion are supposed to be French and the enlisted fighters all foreigners. Again, I have to complaint that might demonstrate my 'intelligence' as a critic. The plot is a pan Islamic uprising against the French annexation of North Africa as colonial affront to the locals. The 'bad guy' is a fanatic with murderous ambition to rule as Mohammad had ruled, with an iron fist and discipline. I still prefer Ten Tall Men and Jody Lawrence in that, but this film was delightful in unexpected timeliness, after the Arab Spring. Now I'll go look up Marla English and find out what happened to her.

This military adventure/romance contains some mildly interesting action footage of battle scenes, but on the whole, is so poorly cast with Arabs who resemble California beach boys and the biggest array of phony accents you can ever imagine anyone assembling. There is really only one character who is remotely plausible as a Frenchman and very few who are plausible as Arabs. The absurdity of the film is further compounded by stilted, cliché-ridden dialogue and a romantic interest by the Arab heroine that strains credulity, to say the least. All of this results in an unintentionally laughable and ludicrous film which irreparably spoils any chance of the viewer being swept away by its pathetic pretense at being an adventure epic and grand romance. A Lawrence of Arabia or Beau Geste it is not! Positive reviewers are obviously delusionally waxing nostalgic from their memories as 8 year old viewers.

This film, admittedly not a masterpiece generally or even of its genre, does have a certain charm about it mainly in its easygoing, almost casual, depiction of Legionairres.Worst thing about it: had to wait an awfully long time and endure too much tawdry action before the Arab princess (Marla English) -- who I worshiped -- strode in on her roan steed and before her first line strikes Meeker sharply with her whip! (Don't see entrées like that much anymore.) Anyone notice the sheik's playing loose and easy with prisoner of war rules -- reviewing their bios, finding their weak spots, choosing special informers who manifest weak character flaws, and...will...talk.And how about that Alita's, the princess's slave girl, man savvy, learning from the smartest...and the simplest.One more thing: why in hell does Maltin omit this pic from his book? Does anyone know?