Watch Phat Beach For Free

Plenty to Like, Plenty to Dislike

A Major Disappointment

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.

The year is 1996. Film as we know it is coming to a dead end. With mediocre outings such as Scream, Mission:Impossible and Trainspotting, cinema goers have lost faith in Hollywood and seek other pastimes, such as sandwich-making and witchcraft. On a rainy 1996 day, I went alone to the local cinema. Having to make my own popcorn (as it was no longer sold due to lack of demand), I entered the empty room, a tear rolling from my eye. To me, it seemed, this may be the last time I went to a cinema, heck, it could be the last time I saw a movie!What I saw in that very cinema astounded me as it does every generation to behold it to this day. "Phat Beach" was the phattest movie I had ever seen. It was phatter than phat. Despite Hollywood's best efforts, it has never been out-phatted, and never will in my eyes. Imagine Ferris Buellers day off meets Kenan and Kel and you are approaching a thousandth of what "Phat Beach" has to offer. Throw in Pulp Fiction and the Godfather series, and you have the first five minutes. What makes it so easy to relate to is the main character, Benny. Like many of us, he stays at home with his parents 10 years or so longer than he might like to, he weighs a few hundred pounds more than he might like and, yeah, he's left the small matter of having sex a bit late in hope of making his first time real special. But Benny don't care. He is a poet, a tortured soul who cares for nothing but his art.If you expect this movie to be funny, you are sorely mistaken. What "Phat Beach" achieves is far above mere fickle humour. Your emotions are taken for a a roller-coaster ride as you follow Benny's story. You share his loneliness, his feelings of betrayal and joy at discovering a hidden talent for volleyball.But "Phat Beach" does not make your emotions its play thing. For example, during the volleyball sequences, Benny rarely loses a point, meaning that there is no moment of doubt. Benny is phat, and thus should NEVER loose. We understand this, and therefore become absorbed by his world. So should you watch "Phat Beach". Do you enjoy seeing fat gentlemen in chef's hats? Are you Cooilio's biggest fan? Do you seek further meaning in this life we all lead? If the answer to all three questions is yes (and it damn well should be), you should buy at least three copies of "Phat Beach" within the next ten minutes. For me, "Phat Beach" is a masterpiece of cinema, and I therefore watch it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I recommend the DVD release including the trailer which, although essentially several random clips of the movie mixed together and interspersed with fades over several minutes, does shed a lot more of that light you've been yearning for on to this glorious movie.

Many people don't like this movie. To me, it's a classic. Sure, it spawned from the West Coast, and as we all know, everything comes from the West to the East, but this movie is an exception. Nineteen Ninety Six; the year Antichrist Superstar came out. Even though this is a very funny movie and some lines from it will be repeated for years, the wardrobe and music seems to be at least four years behind the original release date. At first viewing, you would think this film was released in 1991 or 1992 considering all the music and styles, but turn the DVD case over and you'll see 1996. I think this is the only exception that the East Coast was WAY ahead of the West Coast.Overall, a hilarious movie with lines you will repeat over and over again.

Before "Phat Beach" (which was JFK's answer to Vietnam.), I was a loser. I was going to college to major in being a burger flipper. I was goin' nowheresville fast. But as soon as I saw "Phat Beach", I instantly knew that my life would never be the same. It inspired me to find true love by stealing my dad's car to find my dream woman. Like the movie, I was almost hit by a huge truck while sleeping right before I got to a Phat Beach. But, enough about me. The movie was excellent: great plot, great hot boxes, great actors, great kenny rogerz. The only thing that could be better would be Woody Allen and more hott black ladiez. I mean, Phat black ladies. I mean, Phat African Americans.I want to get the DVD, because I hear that there's cRaZy bloopers where Benny joins the navy and steals some car or some crap.But Coolio is in this movie, and I was very offended. I hate him so much. The only thing worse than his acting is his horrible, horrible music (which is, in some ways, Phat).If I were to sum this movie up in one statement, it would be, "gangbanging fun and 2fast2furious acting." If you liked that piece-of-crap movie, you'll probably hate Phat Beach, due to it being Phatter.This got a 3 on the PH scale. It was like acid. But the good kind. The Phat kind. The kind that you put on sores to get sick, sick pleasure.Like oranges.You can compare this movie to F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby. Benny was Gatsby, in the way that he was longing for his one true woman that he knew about, but could never obtain. Like Nick, his friend Direll or whatever that guy's name, he got the woman. And just like The Great Gatsby, everybody died in the end.Watching Phat Beach is also statistically proven to reduce the risk of heart cancer and HIV.PHAT BEACH RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Watching this movie was the biggest waste of time and 2 bucks for rental in my life. If nothing catastrophic happens before I die, this will be the biggest regret of my life. Who ever even thought about this movie, or financed deserves a kick between the legs, because that's where they were thinking when they made this movie. It's about an overweight guy who is a hopeless romantic, and writes pretentious drivel that tries to pass off as poetry. He joins his amorous friend in a trip to the coast. Where they meet girls and such. Only the fat guy doesn't get a girl. Skin flicks don't annoy me, I take 'em for face value. But this movie tries to be more than a skin flick. It's about Fat guy looking for love in some girl, but then meets another bikini silicone girl that enjoys his poetry. He finds his talent for volleyball which gets money for his family and impresses the ladies, only he has his lady anyways. The dialogue is super-horrible for even a C movie. It supports a ton of black stereotypes, no character development, it's a glorified porno movie, without any porn in it. Never ever watch this movie.