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Lethal Ninja
An American ninja's wife is held hostage by a sadistic Nazi chemist on an Asian island. He teams up with an African-American ninja to rescue her.
Release : | 1992 |
Rating : | 3.4 |
Studio : | Nu Image, |
Crew : | Director, Screenplay, |
Cast : | Ross Kettle Kimberleigh Stark Ken Gampu |
Genre : | Action Thriller |
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If you don't like this, we can't be friends.
I bought Lethal Ninja in a buy one get one free offer when I bought the Ninja Terminator/ Ninja Dragon double disc, Lethal Ninja isn't a great movie but it is alright. The film is low budget but some of the action pretty cool, one scene that is kind of funny is seeing the Ninja's roller blading around the main hero Joe and then he just beats some of them up as they try to attack him, the box says "From the makers of American Ninja" so that made me more interested in seeing Lethal Ninja. The plot sees the main hero's wife trying to figure what's made the water go bad when suddenly her colleges are killed by a group of Ninja's, she's then taken away meanwhile her husband Joe is training some kids when suddenly he's told his wife has been kidnapped so with the help of his friend they go off to rescue her. Lethal Ninja is a pretty good Ninja movie that should be seen with a group of friends. Check it out.
This is one of the worst/best films i have ever seen in my entire life and it only cost me one English pound. I was so entertained but of course for all the wrong reasons from the awful acting to the hilariously bad action sequences.Highlights included (spoilers) roller skating ninjas, the main characters climbing through storm drains that look disturbingly like water flumes and some of the worst ninjas i have ever seen in my entire life. Pretty much the start of every other scene features the lead "creeping" up on one of the "ninjas" (i use the terms creeping and ninja very loosely) and breaking his neck.Anyhow as bad as this film is i still bring it out every now and again for a chuckle with my mates and if you find it as cheap as i did certainly pick it up for kicks and giggles.
I believe I understand this movie. The message is:If you have a problem you only have to wait, to hit the guys who try to kill you with only one beat or turn out the lights with your ninja-sword. ...Am I wrong ?It is fun and pain to watch the hero of this movie, Ross Kettle (called "Joe" in the film), trying to look cool, pretending to fight with big men, knocking them down after almost no fighting and grabbing bigger men's...you know.Problem 1: Ross Kettle is no action hero, he was good in "Santa Barbara" (a soap opera) and without him you could forget the movie completely, but he is just not right for the part.Problem 2: One of the worst actresses I've ever seen: Karyn Hill, who plays Ross Kettle's kidnapped wife. Anyone could have been a better choice. If she was at least naked to convince us with her breasts...Problem 3: The story...what story ? It would be ridiculous trying to explain what happens. It doesn't matter !Problem 4: Explosions are nice and good fights are interesting, but is it really necessary to hear a sound like when Batman and Robin of the original Batman-series beat someone up, every time Ross Kettle, the hero (a joke, sorry), is knocking someone down ? Besides, there are no good fights here and explosions look like from a cartoon.Pretending to be a movie for adults. Not even children would care, or perhaps the little ones !
Yes, you read it right, this defines insane action movies, not because of the huge amount of action, but because it's completely insane. If you are a regular viewer of the bottom 100 (which you must be to look at a movie like this) then you would have seen 'US Seals' on the least, at its worst the number 1 bottom movie. Now just think about that. How is it possible for somebody to make a movie which is worse than EVERYTHING. Think of the worst, most painful movie you've ever seen. These people have made a movie worse than that. And why is this relevant, you may ask?Because the same team made lethal ninja. Except lethal ninja was a lot earlier, and a LOT worse. In fact, it's possibly the lowest quality movie i have ever seen, and i watch bad movies on purpose. However, it is also one of the most hilariously atrocious movies you will ever see. The makers seemed determined to throw in every crappy cliche they possibly could, so the dialogue is completely inane. It goes along like this:Woman: What are you doing? Man(dangerously): Don't mock me you bitch.You will find gems like these scattered (actually, the movie is drenched in them) throughout the movie. Now, on to the story.I've watched it twice recently, but i still haven't managed to pick up the story. Thats not because of me, it's because it has the most glaringly obvious plot holes EVER. The story is something about some woman and her crew finding poisoned water in africa. Then boom, no explanation, ninjas are there slaughtering everybody (serious. Their swords even bounce off people. I thought they were sharp...). Then she is taken hostage by somebody in a hotel in south africa (She chooses just to wait there rather than escape). Her husband, the american yoga guy, hears about his, grabs his mate, and off they fly to south africa against the warning of this government guy. They just happen to stay at the same hotel as his wife (coincidence of course) and then the fun kicks in.Because, you see, Lethal ninja is absoloutely insane. The first flaw is that the main guy is not even a ninja. I think they should have called 'Lethal Redneck'. Anyway, I'll give you a rundown of some of the flaws and stupidities. When they arrive in south africa, they are carrying machine guns, pistols and bazookas. The customs man asks them 'do you have any firearms' and they say 'just crossbows'. And then, faced with these 2 huge and obviuosly dangerous men, the man LETS THEM WALK THROUGH WITHOUT CHECKING FOR WEAPONS!!! When they get to the hotel, they know nobody, so naturally they just pick up the phone and dial a random number and ask 'wheres my wife'. Theres a tip for hostage situations. If your wife has been kidnapped, pick up the phone, make up a number, and then dial for instant success. Anyway, there are too many flaws, but you will see them standing in the desert or something, and then one of them will say:'hey, we better check out that old fort'And off they go. It seems that the script was improvised as they went along, because anybody could come up with a reason for looking at the old fort, but they DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT EXISTED!!!Anyway, i grow tired of this. All in all if you're looking for one of the stupidest and funniest movies, rent this. And watch for the dance and musical number which i swear the director choreographed himself. You thought Aaron carter was bad? Wait till you hear and see this!