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Boring

I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

There are moments in this movie where the great movie it could've been peek out... They're fleeting, here, but they're worth savoring, and they happen often enough to make it worth your while.

I have watched, over several decades, thousands of motion pictures, have reviewed hundreds -- here and elsewhere. Horror is one of my favourite genres; movies centering on religion/vampires/zombies/ghosts/possession are of particular interest to me, so I was looking forward to this flick, with the enticing artwork cover! Disappointing is the word. There are a few indications that this could have been a film worthy of a 5, 6, or 7 rating, but, unhappily, 2/10 is all I can offer, owing to the many fails in the film. Yes, there are worse movies, but this has to place very low. My advice is not to waste any time at all on this. Best wishes! --->NB: "nickfischer_926" rated this film 10/10 in March 2007, saying "nice movie" I felt suspicious, so checked to see how many movies he'd rated... you guessed it! This is the only one! This follows a standard pattern, whereby truly lousy movies are given very high ratings by a few "reviewers" who have only ever "reviewed" one to five movies! Crew or cast member? A friend? What's the deal, I wonder? Very odd. Oh well! #

Blackwater Valley Exorcism is set on a small town ranch where teenager Isabelle (Kristin Erickson) is found wandering around covered in dog's blood. Her parents Ely (Randy Colton) & Blanche (Leslie Fleming-Mitchell) own the ranch & are deeply worried about their daughter, recently she has not been herself & is considered a danger to herself & other's. Ranch hand & ex-priest Miguel (Del Zamora) recognises Isabelle's symptoms as a possible case of possession & when she starts to speak ancient Latin in a strange voice he becomes convinced of it. Blanche calls priest Jacob (Cameron Daddo) who is her other daughter Claire's (Madison Taylor) ex husband to see Isabelle, he confirms Miguel's suspicions & accepts the job of performing the exorcism that will hopefully banish the demon inside Isabelle & an innocent girl free...Directed by Ethan Wiley I was sat there in my house in front of my telly watching Blackwater Valley Exorcism & I kept asking the same question over & over again, why do I do it. Why do I keep sitting through all these awful low budget horror films that look like they were shot on a camcorder? Right lets honest about this, Blackwater Valley Exorcism is a complete total & utter unashamed rip-off of The Exorcist (1973) & you literally tick off the major plot points that the two share. There's the possessed teenage girl who starts to get very horny & suggest inappropriate things, the demon that uses past misdemeanour's against other's, the worried parents, the way that the possessed girl is shunned by doctor's, the priest with a troubled past & the possessed girl is tied to her bed amongst other things. I suppose where Blackwater Valley Exorcism is different (other than it's total crap) is that it tries to give all the character's some screen time & tries to get across how the situation is affecting them but it's so badly written & acted it just ends up being boring. The film starts with Isabelle already possessed so we never knew what she was like as a normal person so we never really care about her or what is happening to her either, the rest of the character's are poorly written & fleshed out. At times I wondered whether Blackwater Valley exorcism was a spoof, there's a silly scene in which a vet tries to sedate the possessed Isabelle with horse tranquilisers & after he states that she needs a 'little prick' he enters her room with a huge needle hidden behind his back! There are a few scenes in which people are punched accompanied by a silly comedy sound effect. The film has an uneven tone as a result as it goes between silly spoof & serious horror drama, or it did in my opinion at least.According to some text before the opening credits Blackwater Valley Exorcism was based on 'Actual Events', yeah right actual events from 1973 that happened in a film called The Exorcist... This piece of text also states that the exorcism scenes were supervised by a real priest. There isn't even any decent gore or exploitation to liven things up, there's a scene of a cut arm, there's a dead dog, someone is stabbed with a crucifix & that's about it. There's surprisingly no bad language in it either despite the demon trying to be offencive. I would imagine the only reason Blackwater Valley Exorcism has an adult rating is because of one very brief scene in which a pair of breast's are seen. One pair of naked female breast's is not worth the time watching this or the money you might spend on it. There is zero scares, no atmosphere & a really amateurish feel to the whole film too.With a supposed budget of about $1,000,000 I must say that I am wondering where all the money went, the film looks ugly & cheap throughout. There are no special effects to speak of & the production values are rock bottom. The acting is very poor from all involved, genre favourite Jeffrey Combs gets near top billing during the opening credits but has nothing more than a cameo in what amounts to about five minutes of screen time. Even he must have feared how bad this was going to be has he hides behind a moustache & a terrible accent, he is better than this.Blackwater Valley Exorcism is a complete rip-off of The Exorcist without anything that made that film such a classic & the makers are thirty five years too late anyway. A total turkey from start to finish.

As the metaphoric flies fled this steaming watery stool of a film i found myself longing to join them.From the opening sentences, you quickly gather that the actors are talentless. The script editor was probably dead and the director should be. To be honest I didn't manage to finish this film because about twenty dismal minutes in the sight of the main actress scuttling across the floor like a Shetland pony that has been shot in the ass was too much for me to stomach.I have never, and I mean never, seen a film as sweaty as this one and I watch tons of crap films.Turd.

OK, I normally don't add comments on movies, but I finally watched a movie that was so utterly full of bullsh*t and riddled with incompetence that I just had to warn people about. Blackwater Valley Exorcist is loosely about a wife-beating/pederast/priest and this podunk family of horse freaks, and to make a long story short the youngest daughter who was molested by the priest but in love with the hillbilly ranch hand gets possessed. Along with a heroic god shunning Mexican gardener who once participated in a exorcism, the wife-beating/ pederast/priest manage to save the day, but not before the possessing demon is able to jump over to a hooker who the town sheriff made blow him. All in all this movie is the biggest pile of useless (I could get very descriptive with this part but why waste my energy on this movie)sh*t I've ever seen. Any and all persons associated with the making of this movie should be sterilized so that they cannot pollute the earth with their useless spawn.