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Undescribable Perfection

Excellent, Without a doubt!!

Tells a fascinating and unsettling true story, and does so well, without pretending to have all the answers.

The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one

Maude Calmers'(Kay Hawtrey) husband has disappeared. He ran the local funeral home. To make ends meet she converts it into a bed and breakfast and her niece Heather (Lesleh Donaldson) comes to help her. After it opens guests start disappearing and Heather hears voices from the basement at night. She's determined to find out what's going on with the help of her boyfriend Rick (Dean Garbett).Creepy little Canadian horror film. It was made on a low budget and is kind of obvious (you'll see the ending coming a mile away) but it still works. There's plenty of creepy scenes (especially the first long shot that goes from the top floor of the house to the basement...where you hear voices) and the ending where everything goes wild. The ending is VERY rushed...it looks like they ran out of money. The final explanation is explained WHILE the closing credits are running! Still I was entertained. Good acting by the whole cast too. There's next to no blood, no gore and no nudity, sex or swearing so you may wonder how it got the R rating. Not an unsung classic just a small tight little horror movie.

Plot = A young woman goes out to the countryside to help her grandmother turn her old funeral home into a tourist motel, but it seems that some of the guests aren't very friendly and seem to be disappearing and that grandmother seems to be keeping someone in the cellar, could it be connected to the disappearing guests.I've heard some good things about this movie and went in with high expectations, but when I saw it, I was a little disappointed. For a start it's way too slow paced and dark, I couldn't even make out what was going on half the time especially the nighttime scenes. The body count was also extremely low considering that this is billed as a slasher movie. Here's a movie which definitely had potential though, the story is pretty slick and it does have some potentially creepy scenes but it never gets very creepy as it is so poorly executed.What I did love about this movie was the central characters, the grandmother (Kay Hawtrey), she starts out as the typical lovable grandmother but as the movie progresses she becomes more and more strange especially when we discover that she's hiding something or someone in the cellar, she adds more and more layers to her character especially at the end. We also have 80's scream queen Lesleh Donaldson in a main part this time round after bowing out early in previous brilliant slashers (Curtains & Happy Birthday To Me), she does well in this movie and it's nice to see more of her this time round.The final 20 minutes of this movie echo's Psycho, but sadly I saw it coming a mile off, and although quite entertaining and made up for the boring first half of the movie, for me it came too little too late.All in all a good creepy thriller, but sadly it was way too slow paced and forgettable, although it does have some potental like interesting leads but just doesn't work as a slasher movie.

Heather has decided to help her grandmother for the summer who has turned the family funeral home into a bed & breakfast despite the fact that the old bag is about as friendly as a rabid junkyard dog. At times during the late evening hours Heather overhears talking in the basement that her grandma strictly forbids her from entering. Clues abound as the story of her grandfather's mysterious disappearance confronts Heather with an ugly truth she doesn't want to acknowledge. Who can she trust? Will she stay at the creepy house? Who is Mrs. Chalmers speaking to in the basement? How the hell did you not figure it out in the first five minutes?William Fruet is definitely a talented director and he does an admirable job despite clearly not having much of a budget. The acting is also for the most part done well especially Lesleh Donaldson as the conflicted but trusting Heather. You would have to be lobotomized to not know how the story is ultimately going to end but that shouldn't detract from the eerie atmosphere that is prevalent during most of the film. The reason I can't give this a higher rating is the rather slow build-up to the kills which in themselves are rather tame and unoriginal. As a matter of fact I'm perplexed that this movie received an R rating to begin with as there isn't any profanity and absolutely no nudity. This is the second consecutive movie in the "Chilling Classics" collection that has a woman seducing a mentally challenged man. Was there a market for this kind of thing in the seventies? It's creepy as hell. A decent film that's just a little too vanilla for me. Kinda like Canada.

After reading some favourable reviews, I was hoping that this little known flick would become a newly discovered gem. Or, at least with a title such as "Funeral Home", have some creepy moments. No such luck.Things begin with some promise; Mr Chalmers' disappearance, and the general feeling that something not quite right is afoot. Unfortunately, this movie just drags and drags. Way too much time is wasted on setting up a red herring that is crystal clear to the viewer from the start. There's too many scenes of the girl snooping around the cellar that could have been better spent on...I don't know, more than two crappy murder scenes? This is really more of a bad made for TV drama than a horror film. Clunky, highly uninspired and drawn out. The "twist" is also something anyone can see coming a mile off. I won't mention which classic it rips off...To conclude: Not the worst I've seen, but Funeral Home is sinking just below "mediocre." It's a charmless drama fest.