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I love this movie so much

Thanks for the memories!

If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

Absolutely the worst movie.

For the most part a middling, under-developed crime thriller, THE DARK is a really disappointing film with a great premise. I mean, the idea of a decapitating alien killer stalking L.A. sounds like the perfect opportunity for lots of excitement, scares, cheesy special effects and gore. Well, we get the cheesy special effects all right (albeit briefly) but sadly none of those other things. THE DARK is happy to wade along through cliché-land, shafting genre fans by relying on boring police procedural work while the alien himself is relegated to the background, making almost a cameo appearance and getting very little screen time. I mean, if I wanted drama, romance and human intrigue, I'd watch a soap, not a dark thriller such as this! This is a very odd film with a disjointed feel. I mean, it's firmly rooted in depressing reality until this ugly alien with laser eyes suddenly shows up. The alien is like some monster from STAR TREK or something and totally out of place. The investigation into the murders is intercut with some brief clips of people being zapped and exploded by the alien, which just isn't fair. The makeup itself is pretty good but the alien looks more like a Neanderthal than an extraterrestrial. And don't get me started on those laser eyes!The acting here is pretty stolid and unremarkable, especially the usually reliable William Devane. Then again he is given absolutely nothing to do other than look brooding - and with his dark glasses and long hair, he looks rather silly. Cathy Lee Crosby is an irritating blonde reporter who deserves to die and expresses no charisma, while Keenan Wynn is wasted in a role which has no purpose. The policemen investigating the case also have no personalities, so everybody here is pretty interchangeable. When a policeman dies at the end of the film, we're obviously supposed to think "that's so sad" but the more realistic response is "we're supposed to care?". A mad clairvoyant character is also extremely grating and sadly she doesn't get her skull torn off.Where this film does succeed is in the sudden, unexpected action-packed finale, which is everything a monster movie could wish to be. The alien takes on an entire police force, with bodies flying everywhere and all manner of chaos and destruction. It's excellent. If only the rest of the film could have been as exciting as this. Gorehounds need not apply either, as there are exactly three seconds of gore in this film (admittedly a very good bit of a decapitated corpse stumbling over). In the end, if you're looking for an "alien killer stalks L.A." type film, then PREDATOR 2 would be a safer and far more enjoyable bet.

Director John "Bud" Cardos, who'd given us the superior "nature strikes back" thriller "Kingdom of the Spiders", proved up to the task of replacing original director Tobe Hooper on this mostly routine but basically entertaining sci-fi / horror tale. The original concept for the movie was that of a killer zombie, but after poor screenings, it was decided to make the killer an alien and add a bunch of cheese ball laser effects.The story is that after the alien has savagely murdered his daughter, an author, Roy Warner (the amusingly cast William Devane), teams up with an ambitious TV newswoman, Zoe Owens (Cathy Lee Crosby) to track the monster down. The detectives on the case (Richard Jaeckel, Biff Elliot) can't seem to make any progress, but providing a substantial amount of assistance to Roy and Zoe is the psychic character De Renzy (Jacquelyn Hyde - now *there's* a name for you), who believes she knows who one of the aliens' victims will be.The sci-fi element provides just the right touch here, generating a fair amount of chuckles when we start to see the creatures' modus operandi. John Arthur Morrill handles the slick Panavision photography, while Roger Kellaway supplies a score that's quite a hoot. It features some decidedly over the top "whispering". The special effects are fun, and the pacing adequate. The best part has to be the climactic action when the alien unleashes hell on the cops that are trying to take it down.The actors are all good, particularly Jaeckel and Devane in his change of pace role. Keenan Wynn plays Crosby's boss, Casey Kasem is a pathologist, Vivian Blaine appears as a high society type, seven foot four inch John Bloom plays the titular murderer, and Warren J. Kemmerling is the typical police boss who demands that Jaeckel and Elliot produce some results. Look for the following people in bit parts: Vernon Washington ("Friday the 13th: A New Beginning") as a victim, Philip Michael Thomas of 'Miami Vice' fame as an outspoken youth, and none other than Paris Hiltons' mom Kathy Hilton as the requisite first person to die. Angelo Rossitto has an uncredited cameo as a news vendor.If you're like this viewer and have a weakness for movies like this, you're sure to have a good time with it.Seven out of 10.

A monster that strangely resembles a wild cat with a varsity jacket is roaming the city, loose, and tearing stuff up. The local detective is a wise guy from the old school that solves crimes by eating donuts and abusing his ex-wife. This movie is really cool for the segments with the killer, but those segments compiled are probably three minutes. The cop talk is amazing, a real throwback to the late seventies movie making ham machine. Plenty of nice old textures, carpeted apartments and bra-less wonders at play. The real theme of the movie was initially a zombie feature, although the test audience saw otherwise and the film quickly switched gears into this weirdo product. It's slightly like "Split Second" or "C.H.U.D." in the way the bad guy is hardly seen. This works out to an ending filled with plenty of eye beams, fire, explosions, and cops flying through the air like plates. This movie plays out very routinely, with the hunt and the drama. So check it out and don't adjust your televisions brightness, this flick really is a friggen dark one.

The Dark is truly one of the worst films I've ever seen. Certainly the worst I've reviewed since Jaws of Satan last winter. One must wonder how much of this film Tobe Hooper directed, or if he could have made it watchable had he stayed on for the whole job. Apparently it was originally supposed to be just another rampaging zombie file. But by the time it was finished, we had a villain wandering the streets of L.A. shooting people with lasers from his eyes. Yikes! The primary star is William Devane, an always watchable actor. He plays a successful author once convicted of manslaughter. Why did they need these two angles for his character? The answer... they didn't. Anyway, Devane's daughter is the first victim of the "Mangler" and he sets out to pressure the hapless police force to solve the crime. But each night, there is another victim and nobody has any plausible explanation. Kathy Lee Crosby plays a news anchor looking to soak up the ratings for this story for herself. There are other useless characters such as a psychic who can predict future victims. There is a struggling young actor with a drinking problem. There is a mind-boggling appearance by Casey Kasem as a forensic pathologist. He actually gives one of the better performances. How many Scooby Snacks did they have to give him to take the role? The Dark is one of the most boring films I've ever seen. That is its main problem. So little action its incredible. Considering how much is said about the "horrific" nature of the murders, we see little if any gore. The final five minutes where the killer is zapping an army of cops with his laser eyes is hilariously cheap, but at least there is finally some action in the film. A complete waste of your time. Do not handle heavy machinery until you have had at least 8 hours of sleep after watching this crud. 1 of 10 stars.The Hound.