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It's entirely possible that sending the audience out feeling lousy was intentional

Fanciful, disturbing, and wildly original, it announces the arrival of a fresh, bold voice in American cinema.

Very good movie overall, highly recommended. Most of the negative reviews don't have any merit and are all pollitically based. Give this movie a chance at least, and it might give you a different perspective.

Unfortunately, Joan Crawford throughout the 1950s often found herself typecast in dead-end genre films that followed one story line: thick- skinned, frigidly cynical middle-aged woman meets opportunist crumbs, revealing herself to have a heart exactly as hard as melted butter. While it's true that playing the stormy and lovesick heavy guaranteed Crawford continued work and starring roles well after the usual actress expiration date of that era, it also meant that her performances in such dramas degenerated into caricatures of the roles she had played in the previous decade.The present story is no exception. A wealthy widow takes possession of her beach house, and promptly encounters several obstreperous neighbors who may be swindlers, an overgrown beach-boy gigolo, a negligent and ignorant woman real estate agent, a cunning, understated "beach-cop," and the mysterious death of the beach house's previous tenant. After several prickly encounters with this motley crew, widow Crawford's icy, sarcastic reserve thaws in record time, and she surrenders to the charms of said gigolo. Happiness seems to be just around the corner--but is it real? Will the solution of the mystery ruin our heroine's chance at a new life? Cue orchestral diminished chord...FEMALE ON THE BEACH is not Joan Crawford's finest hour, sad to say. While it's far from her worst picture (alas, they became worse still), it's best enjoyed as a kitschy, campy romp. Make plenty of popcorn--covered with lots of melted butter--and come prepared to laugh.

This is the type of film that used to be featured on American Movie Classics before they ruined the channel with commercials and more recent fare.Fortunately, I caught it on AMC and taped it years ago. I pull it out every now and then on a lazy rainy day for pure enjoyment. Just seeing Crawford with that Godawful makeup, heavy brows, and mannish bob is a riot. Her scenery chewing acting style is also a hoot. She plays it like she's trying to get an Oscar. She takes every opportunity to show off her figure also. There's even a scene where she's getting out of bed in baby doll pajamas no less! I wish they would release this on DVD!

Just finished watching an average looking copy of this movie, as a good quality one is nearly impossible to find. The only real reason to watch this movie is Joan Crawford. She could put on a good act at a funeral! I thought she was great, especially considering what she had to work with. Jeff Chandler was never known as a good actor and this movie proves it. The old couple were probably the only real actors in the movie other than Joan. This movie is good to watch if you don't have anything much of importance to do or if you are a big Joan Crawford fan. I don't care how old she was when she made this movie...SHE WAS STILL HOT! I would have taken her on my boat anytime...

Early in the movie Joan says to Jeff: "It's getting longer." But later in the movie she tells him: "It's smaller than I thought." Okay, the first line refers to her list of dislikes and the second line to the interior of Jeff's boat, but you get the idea. This whole movie hinges on the sexual attraction supposedly felt by its two leading characters and everything is secondary to this relationship. There's no subtlety here. The first time Joan sees Jeff he's shirtless and you can tell from her expression that she's wondering what he'd look like if he lost his pants as well. And when Jeff looks at Joan, you can tell he's wondering if her dress would fit him. The second time Jeff is seen he's lying face down on the beach with his swim suit molding tightly to his buns. Yes, there's something for everyone here.Actually, Jeff seems a bit old for his part. Isn't "37-year-old-beachboy" sort of an oxymoron? But it's great to see Judith Evelyn during her "Golden Age." Just the year before, she played "Miss Lonelyhearts" in "Rear Window" and the Queen Mother in "The Egyptian."Ed Fury pops up briefly in one scene. Maybe he should have played Jeff Chandler's part!