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The Worst Film Ever

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It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

There are moments in this movie where the great movie it could've been peek out... They're fleeting, here, but they're worth savoring, and they happen often enough to make it worth your while.

Paranormal expert Dr. Ralph Hayes (a fine and credible performance by Alvy Moore) spearheads an investigation into the gruesome murders of beautiful young women in a backwoods Louisiana swamp community. Hayes finds out that powerful and formidable sorcerer Luther the Berserk (robustly played with lip-smacking wicked relish by John Lodge) is behinds the killings. Writer/director William O. Brown presents a flavorsome evocation of the bayou setting, ably crafts a spooky gloom-doom atmosphere, and sprinkles in some fairly racy near nudity for extra sizzle. The remote rural location projects an unsettling sense of isolation and vulnerability. Anthony Eisley acquits himself well as hunky stalwart reporter Victor Gordon. Luscious buxom blonde bombshell Thordis Brandt makes for a fetching and appealing damsel in distress as well as provides a yummy eyeful running topless through the woods with her hands cupping her exquisitely enormous breasts. Flash-in-the-pan drive-in movie cutie Patricia Wymer and comely 60's Playboy Playmate Sue Bernard portray members of the dastardly coven while wizened old guy character actor Burt Mustin has a small, yet memorable role as an amiable boatman. Both John Arthur Morrill's handsome widescreen cinematography and Jaime Mendoza-Nava's shivery score are up to par. While this film suffers a bit from sluggish pacing and an overly talky script, the surprisingly grim nihilistic ending compensates for these flaws. Although no lost classic, it's overall worth a watch for fans of low-budget indie horror fare.

Dr Ralph Hayes (Alvy Moore) leads a group of psychic researchers into the wilds of a Louisiana swamp. A series of murders has Hayes thinking there might be a witch operating in the swamp. One of his team, Anastasia (Thordis Brandt), is a sensitive - someone tuned to picking up psychic impulses. Hayes hopes she will be able to lead them to the witch. But the local witch, Luther the Berserk (John Lodge), has his own plans. He wants Anastasia in his coven. He starts killing off Hayes' team one-by-one. Can Hayes and Co save Anastasia and the rest of their group? The Witchmaker isn't what I'd call a good movie in the traditional sense, but it is reasonably effective and enjoyable if you're into this kind of thing. The biggest plus The Witchmaker has going for it is atmosphere. At times, the atmosphere is palatable. The isolation, the creepy swamp, the Satanic trappings, and the even the low budget look of the film - all worked on me and filled me with a real sense of unease. If there's one thing that really creeps me out, it's low-budget Satanic mumbo-jumbo. Also, I thought John Lodge was particularly effective as Luther. He uses his size to his advantage as he attacks the members of Hayes' group. It's a really frightening visage. As my rating indicates, the movie isn't perfect to me. The biggest issue I have is Alvy Moore. The problem is that as long as I've been alive, Alvy Moore has always been Hank Kimble from Green Acres. You see, not only is Green Acres on of my two or three favorite television shows, but the stammering, forgetful Kimble is my favorite character. I can't look at the man and not think of Kimble. So when, as Dr Hayes, he's trying to give some sort of scientific explanation to what's happening, it doesn't work. It sounds so silly coming out of Alvy Moore's mouth. I complimented the film's atmosphere, but unfortunately, Alvy Moore ruins whatever atmosphere the film has built up at that point. He goes off-screen, things get creepy. He comes back, not so creepy. It's too bad for The Witchmaker that Alvy Moore was so good at playing light, zany comedy.

The Satan-worshipping killer of nubile women in the Louisiana bayou sets his sights on a sexy psychic there to investigate the murders; she's a "sensitive" whose grandmother was a witch, and Luther the Berserk wants to bring her into his coven (which he pronouns "cove-in"). Second (and final) film for writer-director William O. Brown opens with a brutal murder scene (the female victim is attacked from behind, marked with a symbol, hung upside from a tree and slashed, her bright red blood dripping into a bucket). Unfortunately, Brown doesn't have anything of interest to follow up his grisly opening--it may have been enough to help get him funding, but what happened to Acts II and III? Apart from the 'spooky' music, amateurish makeup effects and awkward performances, there's not a whole helluva lot happening here. * from ****

Been a huge fan of this flick for many moons....never get tired of old Luther chanting his praises for his almighty "Satan"..pretty ahead of it's time and very real when it comes to the berserker\witchcraft genre..Can't understand why this film is virtually unknown even to real horror buffs....Worth seeking out...Still no official DVD release of this little gem.....worth a remake....Satan....GIVE ME MY PURPOSE!!!!!..........and check out the cool Louisiana bayou atmosphere very creepy and foggy....Love Luther's digs.....Too bad most of the cast including the amazing John Lodge are all taking dirt naps..Would also like to know why the director William o. Brown fell off the face of the earth after this picture was made way back in 1969....