Watch Santa Claus Conquers the Martians For Free

Let's be realistic.

It's complicated... I really like the directing, acting and writing but, there are issues with the way it's shot that I just can't deny. As much as I love the storytelling and the fantastic performance but, there are also certain scenes that didn't need to exist.

It was OK. I don't see why everyone loves it so much. It wasn't very smart or deep or well-directed.

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

This is the absolute bottom of the holiday barrel, a trip through hell that one can never prepare themselves for. You think you've known pain? You've known nothing, to quote Samhain.On Mars, Momar and Kimar are worried that their children, Girmar (Pia Zadora, who also sang the horrifying song "Hooray for Santa Claus," but let's forgive her because she was in The Lonely Lady) and Bomar are watching too much Earth TV. The big thing they're all excited about is a live interview with Santa. But the kids have some pretty big issues - their education is fed directly into their brains with no individual thought.The wise ancient Chochem has seen this coming for centuries and says that Mars also needs a Santa Claus. The Martians are all pretty much assholes, so they decide to steal Earth's Santa instead of creating their own.Along the way, the Martians kidnap two Earth children along with Santa. Voldar, a Martian hardliner, disagrees with this idea and keeps trying to kill Santa and the kids. Yes, in a holiday movie meant for children, Santa faces death. Sadly, this film is so painful, children very well may cheer for Santa's doom in the hopes that this movie ends sooner.Then there's the wacky Martian named Dropo, who will challenge your will to live. There are all sorts of badly made toys, wacky hijinks and murder plots. The fact that parents would subject their kids to this travesty upsets me to this day.

This film is not that bad. It is weird but for what it is it works wonders. To me this film was part of the annual must see movies when it popped up on television during Christmas. Yes the plot is silly. The acting silly but you know what "I still enjoy this film" because at the end of the day it still told a story and it entertained me. Now the lo frills special effects help makes this film charming. It is very sad that this film is in the public domain. Which means everybody can release this film on DVD also there is no money that can be made from a restoration which this film sadly needs. If you don't know the story in a nutshell:Martian ruler Kimar (Leonard Hicks) is upset that the children of Mars are lazy and under the influence of too much pop culture from Earth. They are obsessed with the planet's television programs and don't want to do much of anything. In an attempt to get the kids peppy again, Kimar orders the kidnapping of Santa Claus (John Call), hoping that the jolly old toy maker will know how to cheer the children up again. But two Earth children are also nabbed, and this complicates things for Kimar.

People always give the "greatest movie ever" label to more basic films like "Citizen Kane" or "The Godfather", but, when I looked over the humongous list of films that I've seen, the one that truly impacted me the most was "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians".The true emotional impact of this funny, entertaining, and truly beautiful film cannot match that of any other film. This is the stuff that would make Truffaut proud! I mean, let's be honest, after watching "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians", Fellini looks pretty terrible, right? I mean, sure, his films have intelligent scripts, strong emotional cores, and playful humor, but they are...lifeless. At least when being compared to this excellent work.I think that we should change dictionaries so that when you look up "brilliant" you just see a poster for this film. That just makes sense, right?Are these sarcastic reviews not funny anymore? Yes. But that doesn't stop me from doing them!

I never thought a film would be this bad but it is. The film about Martians kidnapping Santa Claus and a couple of human kids to Mars. The Martian costumes are the worst I ever seen almost camp for words. I don't know how the cast did this film without cracking up. Except for Pia Zadora, I don't know anybody in the cast. The Martian costume is more funny than terrifying like a Saturday Night Live sketch. This film was done before we knew Mars was uninhabitable and before USA went into space. The kid actors are fine but still this film is perhaps one of the worst films ever made and perhaps the worst Christmas film of all time.