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The Dallas Connection
Assassins led by Black Widow are out to kill Antonio Morales to prevent him from handing a computer chip over to IWAR headquarters. It's up to secret agents Chris Cannon, Mark Austin, and Samantha Maxx to stop them
Release : | 1994 |
Rating : | 4.3 |
Studio : | Atlas International Film, Malibu Bay Films, H.R.S. Funai Co. Ltd., |
Crew : | Art Direction, Property Master, |
Cast : | Bruce Penhall Mark Barriere Julie Strain Rodrigo Obregón Samantha Phillips |
Genre : | Action |
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To me, this movie is perfection.
If you don't like this, we can't be friends.
A great movie, one of the best of this year. There was a bit of confusion at one point in the plot, but nothing serious.
Worth seeing just to witness how winsome it is.
The Dallas Connection is one of the later films from Andy Sidaris. Well, strictly speaking, this one was actually directed by his son Drew and produced by Andy. But you would be doing better than me if you noticed any difference because no matter who directed this one, it's exactly the same as all the others that go under the Sidaris name. Like the rest, this one is an action flick that relies very heavily on beautiful large breasted women who lose their clothes on a regular basis. Without the ladies, most of Sidaris films would be hopeless and this one is no exception.Its story really isn't worth describing, except to say that it revolves around a trio of professional female killers called Black Widow, Cobra and Scorpion. These femme fatales are played by Julie Strain, Julie K. Smith and Wendy Hamilton. Fortunately, all of them disrobe frequently to frolic about in, amongst other places the shower and a strip club. Julie Strain seduces a restrained man in dominatrix PVC gear in a standout moment but best of all is the truly mesmerizingly sexy Julie K. Smith frolicking around in a hot tub with some lucky 'victim'. Its soft-core erotica basically but with a very high calibre of eye candy. Aside from this the plot-line plods along in an uninspired way, although there are some agreeably stupid moments like death by exploding golf ball and the ludicrous blow-up doll scene. My advice would be to watch it for the ladies and tolerate the rest.
It's impossible to dislike any late-night cable TV fare that immediately gets down to trashy business with a kinky bondage-themed sex'n'kill set piece that's obviously lifted from "Basic Instinct." Of course, this being a movie from Andy Sidaris and his son Christian we also get the usual copious amount of yummy female nudity, funky gadgets, sizzling soft-core sex scenes, exotic across the globe locations, an amusing sense of goofy humor, and big splashy explosions. Oh yeah -- and there's a plot to go along with all this stuff. A team of assassins lead by the lethal, yet alluring Black Widow (the divinely buxom and leggy Julie Strain in peak wicked form) are determined to kill scientist Antonio Morales (a solid performance by Sidaris film regular Rodrigo Obregon), who has a computer chip for a new top security satellite. A trio of agents -- Chris Cannon (amiable Bruce Penhall), Mark Austin (the equally likable Mark Barriere), and token honey Samantha Maxx (an appealing portrayal by the foxy Samantha Phillips) -- are assigned to protect Morales. Naturally, the gaggle of gorgeous gals who bare their delectable feminine wares with pleasing regularity is the main attraction and source of entertainment: Strain does a couple of scorching S&M-type numbers prior to killing two (lucky) dudes, Phillips looks positively smashing in her birthday suit while both the extremely busty Julie K. Smith and cute brunette Wendy Hamilton as hit babes Cobra and Scorpion further spice things up. Alas, for the most part this picture strangely skimps on the action until the rousing conclusion, but that's a forgivable oversight. Besides, how can one not dig a movie in which the front for the assassins is working as strippers at a local rowdy cowboy bar? Both Mark Morris' glossy cinematography and Ron Di Iulio's snazzy'n'jazzy rocking score do the trick. Enjoyable junk.
I watched this movie last night - largely because of all the little people in the cast. Their guns were bigger than they were. Those secret radios that the good guys were given - what were they, Sony Walk abouts? Do the actors get paid when they make something like this? My favorite little guy was Bruce Penhall (from Chips), if he's 4'9" tall I'll eat my boots. Best scene was when of the little guys was at the beach with his jet ski and a babe shows up wearing a thong bathing suit and leather high heeled boots that went up to her crotch. I can't count the number of times I've seen that same outfit at the beach - it's so practical. I kept waiting for Erik Estrada to make a cameo, everything else I've seen his personal butt boy (Bruce Penhall) in has also had Erik making a grease show of it. Erik was probably booked making his land commercials for that hillbilly resort in Arkansas. All this film lacked was a mud wrestling scene.
The usual action flesh fantasy for male viewers, this Sidaris flick is not as good as a few others, but the girls looks great (there is my favorite Playmate, Wendy Hamilton, that doesn't show as much as I hope, but it's still a threat; there is also Julie Strain's Black Widow, with an opening scene Basic Instinct style that it's really good) and the action is good enough to let the 90 minutes of the movie pass without any boring moment. The plot is contrived, but it's part of the show: for a Sidaris movie it's a good enough one