Watch Ancient Warriors For Free

Best movie ever!

Absolutely the worst movie.

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,

Up until now, I have never stumbled upon a dollar DVD that wasn't worth a dollar. I would have thought that anything would be worth one miserable dollar. The forty years of fiscal irresponsibility that began with Lyndon Johnson's final debasement of our currency has reduced the once-mighty dollar to subatomic dimensions; and at the rate the current administration continues to pile up debt, it will not be long before it will take Avogadro's number of the wretched things just to buy a handyman's special, dry-rotted, termite-infested two-bedroom firetrap in the middle of a malarial swamp. What could possibly be so worthless that it is not worth one stinking, lousy, butt-wiping dollar? Well, this movie is it, folks. It is not worth a dollar. It is not worth a ten cent coupon for cottage cheese that blew out the window and landed on top of a manure pile. It is so bad that no combination of known adjectives could do justice to it. It is not even so bad that it is entertaining. It is just so bad that it is not worth a dollar.Why do I feel this way? Well, here comes the big, bad spoiler: The ancient warriors are little more than translucent, badly composited wall decorations, and they make only the briefest cameo appearances. Aren't they the smart ones? The rest of the movie involves nothing more original than a series of pointless and poorly staged shootouts between an unlikeable and unconvincing bunch of good guys and a gang of bad guys whose leader (even by today's laissez-faire standards) ought to have his mouth washed out with Lysol and be sent to the penalty box for unnecessary profanity. But possibly he was only voicing his true feelings about this movie. If so, I can understand. Before I was even twenty minutes deep in this excrement, I wanted to shoot everyone involved, including the producers.I would like to conclude with a protest against having to give one star to this abomination. It is not worth one star. It is not worth zero stars. It is not even worth one crummy dollar.

O.M.F.G. this movie sits about 5 steps below the definition of Cinema Cheese... Where "B" movies reign, this is find a niche in the "C" category.. Franco Columbu should have stuck to the role of being the legendary bodybuilder who is aging well and working as a Chiropractor in California.. Instead, he trys his hand at producing & starring as lead role in a movie so awful i would have more readily chewed a handful of broken glass than watch from beginning to end.. The marketed plot of the movie is the following: "An Elite Delta Force Team is assigned to thwart a Chemical Weapons Terrorist plot, in the process they are trapped inside an Ancient cave and have to fight their way out using all their skills as a Special Forces unit, against the incredible supernatural evil of awakened spirits of Warrior Guardians" Sounds fargging good right??, the picture of the Skeleton's in armor on the DVD box set the hook in me and i splurged for the purchase...Aight, lets break it down... There are no damn Skeletons in the movie at all, not a one... Now you think thats bad, there is NO battle between Delta Force and anything supernatural.. In fact, the "Ancient Warriors" is a 7 second scene of six Sardinian young men wearing garb with spears in hand, they step out from the wall from which they were previously superimposed, rocks falls killing Richard Lynch's character, then then back step into the cave wall again & disappear... Don't believe me? you haven't seen anything yet... There is a Baldwin in the movie, yes a real live Baldwin, a "DANIEL Baldwin" i may add, which was probably the lowest priced bid in the Baldwinian Empire.. Baldwin plays the part of a Delta Force Captain who is so out of shape that he could've been taken out by a 90 pound Polish Downs syndrome patient in hand-to-hand combat. In fact the entire "Delta Force" unit in the movie looks about as disciplined as the Guatemalan National Guard. Franco Columbu's role of the lead action character is beyond ridiculous, whilst mastering the double pistol squat run while flailing his hands, his head facing the ground as not to actually see his intended targets, there is a degree of skill required to such buffoonery. The fact that he seems to be completely unhittable by any rounds while in this mode is even more curiously amusing. Occasionally the pistols disappear in one frame and the next he is firing an Uzi, with as much enthusiasm as a stoned teenager playing "operation wolf" on an arcade.. Baldwin gets, NO-KILLS in the whole movie, in fact he is so far on the back burner it makes you wonder why he was even included in the film?.. Most of the time he plays a pathetic combination of "faceman" from the A-Team & a Pimp-Daddy lying on a lawn chair being pawed by adoring busty women giving him manicures. Richard Lynch's character is 80% coughing up phlegm & blood from some un-named disease, and then the other 20% wishing he was in a Chuck Norris flick.. The whole beach Delta Force training scene centered around the buttock region of the token T&A member of the squad, that and assorted elementary school caliber obstacles for the "Elite" Combat Team to negotiate. The action sequences are so preposterous that my eyeballs still ache from absorbing this audio visual toxin.. I love the scene where 3 guys running up with flashlights sends the Squad into a blind panicked retreat off of an 80 foot cliff.. Oh i forgot they were simultaneous under attack by a tin helicopter that obviously encompassed the part of the film budget that the lesser Balwinite did not yet absorb. Nothing, i mean nothing in this film had even a shadow of a basis in reality or the tactical functions of an actual Special OP's team.. Even the terrorists we more organized whenever they were not either mining, searching for the holy grail, or attempting to thwart the mad skills of Franco Columbu's double pistol dwarf walk (I swear he cut loose at least a few pasta farts in these sequences).. The acting as a whole is shallower than THAT ocean on the moon. When watching this movie, if you DO happen to have about an hour and a half of time which can either be spent cleaning a kitty litter box one grain at a time or watching this consider the latter. In any case spare the popcorn & fill a few shot glasses with Pepito-bismol and keep them on standby, your gonna need em'.

You have to have a little patience with this movie, sort of like with the first season of ST:TNG. It gets a little better as it goes along, and the actors get used to each other and their roles. Franco Columbo looks great, for someone who's 60 (or even someone who's 40), but he's totally unbelievable running around with a couple of pistols. He doesn't seem to know just what to do with them. It's better when he's carrying a machine pistol, but he's "The World's Strongest Bodybuilder", not a martial artist or action hero. His performance varies from pretty good to less than average. He's more believable in the non-combat scenes.Supporting cast is good, performance more even, overall better than average, but the script and plot are both a little weak. The dialog, and the action scenes, are mostly ordinary and unimaginative. You've seen it all before, but better.If you're considering this movie because of a "supernatural battle against the ultimate evil" blurb (from the DVD I watched), you're going to be disappointed. Whoever wrote that has more imagination than the scriptwriters, and probably never saw the movie. Don't expect much from the 'Ancient Warriors' of the title. They seem more of an afterthought, and play a very minor role in the movie.There's some entertainment value here, but, like I said, you'll have to be patient and let it dribble out.

This is probably one of the most pathetic action flicks I've seen. I rarely hit fast forward even on the most sorry acting endeavors, but this just brought tears to my eyes. Columbo should never do another film, his pouty face and supposed sadness over the death of his father is a hilarious "gem" to watch. I've seen high school plays with more drama than this. Baldwin, at least seems to be laughing at himself in his role which makes it easier to see him as the lothario that his family is famed for. Let's see what else, plot....um yeah....don't even bother listening it will save you from having to make up alternate scenarios in your head. I mean who wrote this script!! I'm angry at even having rented and spent time watching it. The ancient warriors were wholly unnecessary and take up literally about 8 minutes of the entire movie. It's not scary, not thrilling and I found myself wanting to grab a pistol to shoot my screen to get the violence moving. You have been warned!!