Watch Animal For Free

everything you have heard about this movie is true.

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

Five young adults head into the wilderness for a weekend hiking excursion. But things go wrong in a hurry when they are targeted by a bloodthirsty creature. They make their way to an isolated cabin where a few other people (that have previously encountered the creature) are already holed up, in the tradition of "Night of the Living Dead" and "The Evil Dead".What we have here is an ultra-routine and ultra-familiar monster movie horror flick. Granted, sometimes a film can still work despite rigidly following a formula, but that is not the case here. "Animal" does have some engaging moments of humanity, numerous jolts, passable FX work (but an unimaginative-looking monster), a generous amount of splatter, and characters who can be annoying but are more or less likeable. Of course, there ALWAYS has to be an a-hole in the bunch, the person who might have some good points to make, but is consistently a prick about it. Amaury Nolasco ("A Good Day to Die Hard") is stuck in this cliched role, and you keep waiting and waiting for something nasty to happen to him.The cast doesn't rise above the material, but they fare well enough. Keke Palmer ("Akeelah and the Bee"), who also sings one of the closing credits numbers, is this viewers' personal favourite. Hunky German actor Thorsten Kaye ('All My Children') is fine as the biggest badass among the men. Lovely veteran actress Joey Lauren Adams ("Chasing Amy") is just wasting her time here.An excellent music score by "TomandAndy" and a blazing pace (this is only 82 minutes long) also help to make "Animal" palatable, but it gets no points for an ending that is, like so many other things here, cliched.Produced by Drew Barrymores' company "Flower Films"!Five out of 10.

Animal doesn't have much substance as a horror movie. It's your typical "teenagers lost in the woods and are getting picked off one by one" story, except instead of a machete wielding maniac chasing them it's an Alien-Predator-hybrid animal that has a taste for human meat. For what it is, it's a fun watch - it's exactly what you'd expect from a B-movie called "Animal".I can't score it any higher because it gets zero points for originality and I can't score it lower because it doesn't try to be anything more than a schlocky monster movie. It's surprisingly cohesive writing-wise, and is definitely more watchable than half the F13 entries. Elizabeth Gillies' ear-piercing screams are annoying yet hilarious and add some extra zest once her friends become fodder to this unstoppable beast.Overall Animal achieves exactly what it sets out to, but its sights weren't aimed high in the first place. It's a clear homage to old-fashioned monster movies with lots of campiness, cheesy special effects, blood and guts aplenty, and a handful of scares that catch you off-guard. All you can ever want in a B-movie romp-fest.

Horror movie opening: The Lesbo from Chasing Amy, That Guy From Soap Operas, and a Blatino(whom I'd love to sit on my face) watch a female rapper get torn to shreds by what we can only assume is Predator without the laugh. And then, ever so unexpectedly: A Beefcake and Eyebrows Plucked to Hell head out to the woods with Chilli, Peter Pan, and Sassypants McGee where they have a run in with Predator's mentally challenged cousin, and barricade themselves into a middle class version of the cabin from The Evil Dead. Joining forces with The Lezzie,Soap Opera DILF, and the Blatino(who becomes Senor Douche-bag), the movie dives headfirst into Dwindling Party Trope as Preda-dur-dur-dur picks them off one by one.See: Reinforce The Barricades, Try to Outsmart the Beast, The Asshole Won't Let Us Back In, Someone's Pregnant, "There used to be more of us", etc.Those things aside, the movie does break away from some of the conventions and the Typical Horror Movie Idiot Conversation is often balanced with some witty humor from Sassypants, who unfortunately Outs a Dead Guy(RUDE!) in fear. If more horror films balanced the humor and drama as well as this film did, the genre probably wouldn't be as much of a piñata for critics. And although in the end, it only ends up being a few notches above average, it's worth watching for horror fans.

This is Animal (2014) Directed by Brett Simmons and Written by Thommy Hutson and Catherine Trillo. Spoilers most certainly ahead. No plot here; Group of assorted friends camp in woods, They are attacked by savage unseen thing. Holding up in a cottage in the woods, they get picked off. Have we not seen this before? The cast does what it can with a flat script, They are all monster fodder, The only question is which ones first, and then next on down the line. I found little to like in any of the characters. Bickering lovers, Gay lovers,selfish survivalist, and self sacrificing expiring hero. Their acting was on the emotive side.The editor did everything he could to try to make this ludicrous formulaic concoction scary. Without success. Holding back scenes of the "Animal" until the last reel, does not, in this case build suspense. It just alerts us to the letdown when we actually view the CGI shops version of what it is suppose to be.It looks like they farmed out the FX works to five different shops and got back five different versions of the beast. None of them convincing; I noticed no full body shots of the thing, how it moved was never shown either. It seems to jump from mammal to lizard to alien,I will admit straight out that I viewed a crappy upload, but the repetitive plot could not have been any better on the best of uploads. Once more I suspect that there was more to the movie then presented in the version I watched.In truth, I don't care that I left this attempt at a horror movie incomplete, There could be no surprise plot revelations that would make it any better. Two out of Ten Stars.