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I don't have all the words right now but this film is a work of art.

A lot of fun.

Fun premise, good actors, bad writing. This film seemed to have potential at the beginning but it quickly devolves into a trite action film. Ultimately it's very boring.

It's simply great fun, a winsome film and an occasionally over-the-top luxury fantasy that never flags.

In my book a 1 star is for the worst of the worst - like "The Room". This isn't quite that bad. But it's pretty bad.The thing is, it could have been good. If it had made up its mind to either be a comedy or a drama. But trying to be both it fails miserably. There's no laugh...at all. Any attempt at comedy ranges from flat to annoying. If that isn't bad enough, they attempt to recycle the dumb jokes that didn't work the first time. There's an on going schtick about Frankie's cologne, Brut. Like anyone besides Joe Namath ever really wore that stuff. The joke never works. Not the first time. Not the third time.Frankie has to get rid of a body. We don't know if the body is dead or just unconscious. Until the body farts...three separate times. "Frankie, did you say something?" Yeah, hilarious.The saddest part of all this is that the director, Martyn Burke, wrote Top Secret, one of the funniest movies of all time. How he could miss so badly with this movie I'll never understand.Now, if this had been written as a drama, with action scenes, a little love story, not too over the top, it might have worked. It could have been good. As long as Madeleine Stowe's character was maybe only slightly annoying instead of completely over the top. Why Frankie hasn't shot her yet I have no idea.The writing is atrocious. Nothing makes any sense. Angelo thinks something might happen to him, but Frankie leaves him unprotected in the restaurant to go deal with a parking ticket. Jennifer lives in this enormous mansion that has no security system whatsoever. Bad guys and ex-husbands come and go at all hours of the night. She's "terrified" but goes out at night to the guest house to have a conversation about nothing.It's not like Stallone and Stowe have no chemistry together, but it isn't allowed to develop because her character is so annoying. I'm 48 minutes into it hoping against hope that it will get better.

I have two problems with this movie... I do understand that it is not supposed to be a classic Stallone shot 'em up movie... but then it shouldn't be listed under 'genre: action', it shouldn't have Stallone with a big gun on the cover, and it shouldn't have such a mobster-action misleading name. Second problem is that the writing is just awful... the characters are simply not believable, the situations presented are far fetched (when Jennifer goes to her adoptive parents and finds out that her father is gay... all of this happening in just 3 minutes without any character feeling whatsoever) and the whole movie altogether simply doesn't draw any attention. I am a HUGE fan of Stallone, but this movie simply is way too bad...wasn't even able to last through the whole thing.

Why bother making a Sylvester Stallone if he's not going to be violent or cool for one scene? He's gotten softer than the entire A-Team combined. It sucks to see him trying to achieve his goals just by merely threatening people like a little school girl. You better give me the information I need or I'll obviously keep shooting around you or hold you in some grip, I'll do anything unless it makes you bleed. The story is shockingly uninteresting because I've seen it hundreds of times before. Maybe the mafia just isn't what it used to be. Stallone's character is not 60 years old which would be logical, the face-lifts and the bull hormones are getting painful to watch. You really start to wonder why this movie was ever made in the first place. With no cinema release, it has to get back the budget from DVD rentals, and why would you rent this when you can just get "Rambo III" and actually see the same guy doing stuff that's lots more entertaining? Despite pathetic,it was still a good choice to go back to his two franchises after this because honestly, this is as relevant as the newest Seagal.

I sure hope this is director Marty Burke's last feature, because unless he had a gun to his head and was forced to follow an erratic script, he's not doing a very good job.The movie is a mishmash of incoherent, illogical, unfounded scenes that brings it no flow and no credibility whatsoever (not even as a comedy). Stallone is actually pretty good and Stowe tries although she stumbles severely.I can see some good intentions of making this a romantic comedy, but it just fails utterly. The comedy isn't very funny and the romance isn't really coming across.Poor Sylvester who just winds up with directors who make crap of his every non-action-movie-attempt. Unfortunately Sly, you and the soundtrack are the best things about this movie! Rest in peace Anthony!