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Load of rubbish!!

Best movie of this year hands down!

The joyful confection is coated in a sparkly gloss, bright enough to gleam from the darkest, most cynical corners.

The first must-see film of the year.

I almost like it but I end up not caring for it. It's not a rant or a positive review or a meh review too. The story is easy to follow if you're a fan of gore or watch 100 horror movie with the same story, the acting is meh, and it's not too clithè. They're some clithè here and there but they limit it. The worst part about this movie is how the script feels empty, that's my main problem. I like how the killer is based on Jason Voohrees but without a mask. At least it was better than Black Christmas (2006) and the disapointing Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Begining (2006). I watch it because I thought it was The Shinning (1980) but I didn't do research what The Shinning is. It's hard to think if it's good or not because it's forgetable and that's why I don't have a opinion on it. That's my review of The Hatchet (2006) so yeah, I don't care about the film.

A truly frightening horror film from the talented hand of director Adam Green which succeeds in terrifying as well as being funny. The wit is as sharp as the titular instrument of mayhem and the satire and sarcasm is quite effective. Green uses his limited budget with the expertise of the true cinema artist and never lets any of the corners cut to be obvious. The cast is uniformly excellent and each actor creates a character that is totally unique and human. There is certainly blood shed but never gratuitously and always in furtherance of the plot. Parents should be warned that the proceedings are intense and the suspense unrelenting, so keep you children out of the viewing area as you immerse yourself in the cinema experience known as Hatchet.

Before Sharknado, before Sharktopus, and in fact not involving a shark at all, there was Hatchet. If you can't make a good movie, the thinking goes, why not make an intentionally bad one and hope that camp value carries you to cult classic status? Sometimes this works, but Hatchet is mostly a misfire.The movie is a horror-comedy, more in the Scary Movie vein than the Edgar Wright one. As such, we have about forty minutes of painfully unfunny and mean-spirited humour before the killing starts, with a lot of racial and sexist stereotypes. The soft-porn star with delusions of grandeur is probably the best character, which isn't saying much. Most of the characters' actions are inexplicable even once you realize they're all dumb as a rock. It's not pretty.When the blood starts flowing (and spraying, and gushing), Hatchet edges closer to being watchable. There's a lot of enjoyably over-the- top gore, and a few moments of black humour that actually work (including the final stinger). If Green had played the material straight, this wouldn't have been a great movie, but it might have been an inoffensive one. In the end, though, it's hard to care whether these scatological doodles of people will survive. Even horror nuts will probably come away from Hatchet disappointed.

The casting is too self aware, too much winking at the camera, so to speak: horror film icons Tony Todd, Robert Englund, Kane Hodder (in two roles) and John Carl Buechler, in what is largely a Friday the 13th satire; the film's climax even takes place on a boat in the middle of the water, with the girl being pulled underwater, ala the original Friday the 13th. Perhaps if they hadn't spent so much of the budget on hiring those names, they could have hired more background extras to fill out the Mardi Gras scenes, instead of using close-cropping and frenetic camera-work to try to hide the fact that there are only about 20 people present at what is supposed to be Mardi Gras. After that shaky intro, a group of people go on a Haunted Swamp tour in Louisiana, only to be set upon by a mutant hillbilly living in the backwoods, who proceeds to hack them to gory bits. The film looks good once they get out of the city and into the swamps, but it doesn't work as a tribute to earlier horrors, because of the sharp comic dialogue, which is well delivered by its main cast of relatively unknowns, and had me laughing hysterically several times. The comedy simultaneously works in its favour and against it. It also doesn't have enough scares or shocks to work as a horror film on its own, despite buckets of blood and gore, and an overwhelmingly blood-drenched ending. The main cast are all good in their roles, and Joleigh Fioravanti, especially, is gorgeous and always fun to watch. I did enjoy this film, but more as a comedy, rather than a horror, at least until its awful ending, where everyone is killed, and the door is left open for the seemingly contractually obligated sequel.