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What a freaking movie. So many twists and turns. Absolutely intense from start to finish.

Wow! What a bizarre film! Unfortunately the few funny moments there were were quite overshadowed by it's completely weird and random vibe throughout.

One of the best movies of the year! Incredible from the beginning to the end.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

This movie isn't the worst horror film you'll ever see. It comes across as a cinematic version of a middling fill-in story from an old issue of CREEPY or EERIE magazine from the 1960s -- one that isn't too original but would be memorable if it were to be drawn by Bernie Wrightson.Unfortunately despite an acceptable buildup and a pace that goes from decent to over-the-top berserk, this film suffers from not having had the sort of attention given to it that would have made it the equivalent of the Wrightson-drawn CREEPY story. It comes off as having been drawn by one of those artists whose names you don't remember and know they hired because he would work cheap.Actually it looks very much as if cheap was the word for some reason and at some point during the production, for some reason it was decided that no one gave a crap any more about quality and that they needed to finish the thing ASAP which is why the conclusion, and choices and effects used in it, get noticeably further off track as the finale approaches, which consists of 15 seconds of footage that never should have been included at all because it doesn't follow at all logically from what we've just seen happen before it.The film suffers also from some serious "isn't"s: It appears from the opening, which shows a mother of 2 kids apparently delighted to be moving into a filthy windowless house with a lawn full of black septic tank overflow and a back yard full of tombstones, that the film is intended as at least a semi-comedy. But there's nothing really present that makes you laugh, so funny it isn't. Stike one.The actress cast as the mother, familiar to most from her appearances on STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION, should be scary. -- SLIGHT SPOILER -- Her function in the story is to menace her own children when she is turned zombie by the evil forces in the mortuary-house, and she has a prime opportunity to show off some delightful dark creepy humor in a scene in which she, as the perfect zombie-mom, is to serve the rest of the cast dinner. The actress unfortunately entirely throws the scene away and does nothing with it. It's as if she can't be bothered to affect a scary countenance or give anything to the part at all. Either she doesn't actually know how to act or didn't care to do so in this film. Either way, she was the wrong choice for the part and is chiefly responsible for the feeling that the film jumps too abruptly into high gear all at once about 2/3 of the way through -- she should have been the middle gear and gotten things warmed up for the grand finale but, honestly, her community-theatre level uninvolved performance really sinks the whole central section of the picture -- we don't really accept her transformation because it's performed so poorly which strongly affects our perception that the other zombies yet to come are anything but other people who don't care about their parts. So scary -- she isn't. Actually she is a complete drag and therefore a liability which heavily damages the picture. Martha Stewart could have played the part better, and as far as I know, she can't act at all. And that's strike two.Finally, as others have noted, the "legendary" unseen boogeyman character doesn't get much to do and when he finally joins in the action he does very little, and "the chase" is then rapidly cut to. So, interesting, he isn't, particularly, either, and that's strike three.If this film had had more of a budget or anyone had actually cared about it, it could have been good. The kid & teen actors are fine (even if the young hero does have a sort of Bud Bundy from "Married With Children" quality about him, which isn't really a negative). But there's no time put into the crucial elements here -- it all comes off as very cheap and rushed and "done the quickest, easiest way," which undoubtedly it was. But even with all its flaws it does have at least one good scary moment, which is when we discover the little girl character has disappeared from the hiding place she was placed in and is likely in big trouble. You do genuinely fear for her and what's going to happen next and the atmosphere instantly jacks up 5 notches and becomes briefly scary, for perhaps the only time in the film.MORTUARY is not a bad "Tales from the Crypt" style story, and it's certainly not boring, it's just not what it should have been. It's not what you do in the case of a low-budget horror movie, it's how you do it that matters, and though this movie is never really dull, it's done with so little attention to detail it ends up blowing up in its own face rather than being the "creepy" Wrightson-style fun it could have been.

Director Tobe Hooper somewhat returns to his rural horror roots (think of 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' and 'Eaten Alive') with the better than expected low-budget b-grade 'Mortuary'. Just like those early Hooper features, 'Mortuary' sets the unyieldingly growing horror (tagged with humorous strokes) at an isolated location (where it's a baleful rundown funeral home with a cemetery). But like others have mentioned, after getting off to a good start (very tidy and eerie) with some good looking production designs it eventually goes on to loose shape and become a kinetic mess with some vague developments and questionably dismal computer special effects, but the decomposed make-up FX remains effective. Nonetheless I still enjoyed it, even with the blatant faults.The story follows the Doyle family; Leslie Doyle and her teenage son Jonathan and younger daughter Jamie moving to rustic California to start a new business in what was known as the 'The Flower Brother' Funeral Home'. Having been abandoned for quite a while, the place doesn't look too crash hot and its hazardously clogged septic tank is leaking sewage. But the place holds a horrific history, as the locals believe it to be haunted and the Doyle's come to realize there's some truth to the urban legend of Bobby Fowler. But also they must content with a strange fungus substance coming from their grounds, which transforms the dead and living into zombie-like creations.The set-up might not be anything special (while routine, Hooper's direction is surely crafted and well-paced), but the idea behind the terror has some spirited imagination (very Lovecraft like), despite the fatuous nature of it all when revealed. This helps it lean towards a wicked sense of humour. In the early stages it really does enough to pull you in with its underlining creepiness with sharp photography, robust score and atmospheric art direction where it has dark figures lurking in the shadows and slight lighting. It's tightly controlled, as the jolts have no real build-up (although that does occur in the latter half) and are quickly over with some off-screen action happening. Strangely this worked, but when it decided to break out (soon after the fairly intense dinner table scene) it just felt predictably strained, repetitive and overlong with a vastly abrupt and perplexing closing. The willing performances are modest at best. Denise Crosby is good fun. A twitchy Dan Byrd is appealing and Stephanie Patton suitably adds innocence. There are some spunky ladies in Alexandria Adi and Courtney Patton. Lee Garlington is amusing too.Predictable, but a solidly entertaining offering with a certain ominous ambiance and cheap thrills.

Mortuary (2005) ** (out of 4) Being a teen is hard but it's even harder when your mom is a mortician and moves you into a creepy house with a cemetery attached to it. That's what happens to Jonathan (Dan Byrd) who learns that the house is apparently not only haunted but stalked by a deformed maniac. I think it's fair to say Hooper has been a disappointment ever since his debut even though every fan keeps hoping his next film will be one worth writing home about. This one here, like so many in his career, isn't a terrible movie but at the same times there's really nothing special in it. This film mixes THE SHINING, NIGHT OF THE CREEPS and a little bit of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD but it can't hold a candle to any of those films and in the end you can't help but feel you've wasted your time. Right from the start you can't help but think the mother is stupid for keeping her children there but the reasons behind the "hauntings" is quite silly and doesn't work by the time they pop up at the end. The movie is never scary which doesn't help matters when it doesn't have much gore either. The special effects are poor CGI that look so obviously fake so here's yet another negative. The cast aren't too bad as they deliver the type of performances you'd expect to find in this type of film. Hooper manages to keep the film moving at a nice pace but the screenplay really doesn't give him too much to work with.

Finally Tobe is back to his roots AND he is back to get even! I think this is a good movie 'cause if you like Tobe's earlier work you will love this. He is back where it all began for him, and he is doing gooood!I've got the same feeling for this movie as I got from seeing "Texas chainsaw..." and thats a long wait I think. Hopefully he will keep on doing movies like this one 'cause i wanna feel that again and again. The feeling that the 80's slasher/zombie genre is not dead and hopefully it will grow stronger.Hope more movies like this one is going to be made in the future. I'll watch them anyway (with a big smile on my lips :-) ).He's BAAAACK!!