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This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

This is one of the few movies I've ever seen where the whole audience broke into spontaneous, loud applause a third of the way in.

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,

I expected more from the 1986 film, Pirates. When I saw Walter Matthau was the main character and that Roman Polanski was the director, I had high expectations that were dispelled the moment Matthau's character Captain Red bit the buttock of his faithful fool, a Frenchman he calls Frog. This stereotypical name is perhaps the high point of humour in the disjointed and aimless film. The officers of the Spanish galleon are all dressed as if they are courtiers at Versailles, while the cabins are furnished as lavishly as any of the Sun King's rooms. In fact, Polanski doesn't seem to be aware that he is making a film centred round a Spanish galleon. Clichés extend to the overuse of enemas by a ship's physician whose remedies are implicitly responsible for the captain's death; though he expires just after confessing his doubt in God's existence,thus revealing himself to be worthy of redemption. The priest who confesses him is another sanctimonious cliché who is apparently intended to represent the harshness of the Spanish Inquisition, who blithely confesses pirates and criminals to be garroted. The only notable female in the film is María-Dolores de la Jenya de la Calde, played by Charlotte Lewis. It is easy to understand why she is not well-known and why she hasn't made any films for 13 years, though she was only 19 when she played María-Dolores de la Jenya de la Calde; this character was particularly vacuous and vain insisting that her ransom should be 30,000 doubloons instead of 3,000, and asking her uncle to agree that her honour is worth more than a kingdom, when she is about to be raped; at the same time, he coy smile implies that she hopes Frog does rape her. There are no heroic characters, nor even interesting villains. Damien Thomas, who plays, Don Alfonso de la Torré, the officer who takes over command of the galleon, the Neptune, after the death of Captain Linares, gives the most competent performance as a would-be ruthless schemer though he proves to be a foiled fop through a series of slapstick accidents that are obstacles to development of any sensible storyline as much as they are to any entertainment value in the film. All in all, a dreadful experience.

I can only believe that the previous reviewers were either smoking something or had been handsomely paid off. I have never seen such a load of complete tosh from beginning to end. It has a stellar cast including a very early appearance by Michael Elphick in a performance that lasts all of two minutes before he is killed, but they are totally wasted.Where to begin? The film lacks pace throughout, there are long drawn out scenes that lead absolutely nowhere. For example in the final battle on the Neptune we are treated to the sight of a sombrero wearing pirate laboriously loading his musket. Obviously this is a set up for a sight gag. No it's just some guy laboriously loading a musket. What on earth was the Frog supposed to be doing? You could have cut his part completely and made absolutely no difference to the story, the actor looked completely bewildered for most of the time as indeed I was trying to figure out what was going on. By the way a storyline would have been nice. The humour was on a level of a small child calling out "bottoms" in a crowded supermarket, but not so sophisticated! The ending, when it mercifully came, seemed to be in mid scene. One minute they are fighting to rescue the heroine, the next you get the cast list – heroine still not rescued! And for God's sake props people and armourers do try and get it right. The number of times someone was supposed to have fired a flintlock with the frizzen forward was unbelievable. The actual props were awful, the firearms looking like some cheap tourist souvenir.A totally bewildering waste of time. Complete rubbish. I give it Minus 100 out of 10.

This is one of the oddities in the career of Roman Polanski. It was a project he wanted to do for years, tried to get funding with different actors, and finally settled on Walter Matthau as Captain Red and (relatively unknown) Cris Campion as his bumbling long-time sidekick Frog. It's a very weird movie in a respect, which is that Polanski puts his own print on what is a big-old swashbuckler. It owes itself in spirit to the Errol Flynn pictures and other on-the-sea programmers of the 30s and 40s, and surely plot is sometimes crazy and convoluted enough to fit the bill... but somehow Polanski makes it work for himself, if not as one of his best. It's sometimes as dark in tone as Cul-de-sac, and other times almost as light as Oliver Twist, but it's also its own kind of movie bird, anchored by an uncharacteristically over-the-top Walter Matthau performance, some good stuffy co-stars like Damien Thomas and Ferdy Mayne, and there's a lot of action to go around the place as well.From its opening scene on (which is, actually, a really amazing opening scene) to the final one which sort of wraps everything around, Polanski tools around with the conventions while trying to please himself, so to speak, with the formula. I wouldn't say it would be really great for those hungry for more after the 'Caribean' movies (frankly, it lacks a Jack Sparrow in its midst), but it should appeal those who want a strange brew of art-house adventure. 7.5/10

I am not foolish enough to think that most GREAT stories don't have a least a little bit of fabrication and embellishment involved in creating it. That being said; some level of realism or believability certainly helps get me into a story.When it comes to pirate movies; the idea of some young pretty boy in mascara (Jack Sparrow), who could not intimidate a little old lady on the corner—let alone run a crew of cutthroats, is just a wee bit of a stretch for me. In addition to make believe monsters, and the likes, well suffice it to say, that just don't do it for me.Roman Pulaski's 1986 Pirates is perhaps one of the biggest movie flops of the 80's. A ship costing over eight million dollars was built for the film, and yet it grossed less than two million. This film was a financial and critical blunder, yet in my opinion, it was one of the decade's BEST films. Why? Perhaps if it had some ghosts, goblins, monsters, and giant sea creatures; maybe throw in several 45 minute long battle and fight scenes, with arms and heads flying, blood and gusts spewing everywhere; Maybe if Captain Red would have been some handsome, strapping, young, fellow, who in the end gets the beautiful girl, who is far above his station; And if Disney would have had their name attached to it; Then perhaps this film would have been a so-called success.But this is not that kind of movie. This is a movie that has grit and charm. It is a movie that does an excellent job balancing our all too often, inaccurate, romantic visions of eighteenth century pirates, with a realism in both language and mannerisms, along with a genuine attitude and presence. The characters are real, complete, and believable. The script is creative, intelligent and authentic. The acting is nothing short of amazing; starting with Walter Mathau's who IS Captain Thomas Bartholomew Red, and continuing with The Frog, Lieutenant Don Alfonso de la Torré, Boomako, the Surgeon, Padre, and the list goes on and on.Not what I would necessarily call a comedy, the entire film is laced with witty humor. I do not recall bursting aloud so much, as wearing a constant grin through-out, and chuckling time and time again.The music is inspiring, and the cinema photography is breathtaking.This movie takes you on a fun and exciting adventure, and it is not until the credits roll that you realize this was only a movie, and you were never really there.