Watch Essex Boys: Law of Survival For Free

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

Redundant and unnecessary.

Powerful

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

To start off I am a big fan of all films old,new,bad and good....But this is just beyond belief. It is so bad I do not know where to start!!??. The acting is horrendous , camera work shocking and directing .. abysmal. I think, reading between the "lines" (lol) it was trying to be a Lock Stock Style film....but what a failure. The accents where a joke. Watch out for the amateur acting as if they are waiting for each others line and not sure whos next....poor director?The fight scenes are farcical...note the police one at the start in the yard. I have always looked at the rating scores here for films but now I seriously have grave doubts. Every review was about 1 or 2.....one critic put it at 5 stars!...yeh right! How the hell did it get its rating of 5.5+. Lot of false reviews here me thinks. AVOID please.

I cannot remember watching a movie with such bad acting. With an idiotic plot, this film is a complete embarrassment to the British film industry. Believe me when I say that it is probably the worst I have ever seen. I saw that it had a 7.1 IMDb rating, and thought it might be good. How wrong I was. Hard men who are not hard. Fights that look like they are taking place in a school playground. Blood as thick as ketchup. To sum it up. This is NOT how to make a movie. I find it difficult to believe that a review on this film has to be 10 lines long. There are not enough words to describe how bad it really is. One actor whom I remember from Londons Burning, had the lead bad guy role. He won't get employment in films again. There was also a bloke with a flat cap who was supposed to be hard. He looked totally out of place with his not hard posing. Then there was the bad dying. I thought actors learned how to die on screen. These guys must have been in the pub on the day that acting school was teaching the pupils how to die. Watching this film will make you despair at the waste of money and time used in churning out this complete drivel .

The real (yes folks real!!) Carlton Leach introduces the film by way of an unenthusiastic voice over and a scene of him just enjoying a quiet pint of stout, and then walking off......And then the film goes gradually downhill from there. From the mess of a narrative, it's about a lad called Danny, who's thrown away the bad boy lifestyle for the love of a lovely lady and a life of poor acting.The thing is though, he had no idea that one of the blokes from London's Burning (the same one who's trying to cut down on the price of his energy bills in the new advert) is a bent copper, whom just happens to be doing a gangland hit in the same area where Danny's mrs has just told him there's a baby on the way.To cut a long story short, she gets killed, he gets left for dead, gets better, and goes for revenge once he gets better.This weeks straight to DVD crime drama with the words 'Essex' and 'Survival' is really hitting a new low for these turgid excuses for films, and you know a film is in trouble when the DVD cover features a five star review from the reputable publication The Daily Sport, the same newspaper that gave us the story about a double decker bus being found on the moon.Less to say, the film is an ordeal to watch, and makes this years Assassin (the one with the Kemps and Dyer) look like Mean Streets.The acting is non existent, and when amateurs make TV actors such as Birdsall, and the two blokes from London's Burning look like Pacino and De Niro's finest hour, you know just how poor the quality of the film is.But you need to watch this film just to appreciate how much Guy Ritchie's first two movies have influenced a sub genre that just will not seem to run out of steam. There are at least twenty or thirty films like these released every year, and once in a while, there are a couple of decent ones released (We Still Kill The Old Way, and Guvnors spring to mind), but in hindsight, I will never watch a film/documentary/TV show with the word Essex in it again.Special mention to the actor who plays Lee, I've seen more emotion in an out of date Porkpie that's been found in the boot of a really hot car five weeks after being purchased.Terrible stuff.

This is the second film I have now seen from director Steven M Smith. The first being the much commented and criticised Hooligans at War, North vs South. Where lets be honest, there is no direction at all, poorly led from start to finish and what I can only guess was done on a shoe string budget. Before watching this movie, my expectations were very low. However within the first 20 minutes of this film, the difference in improvement was clear to see. Yes, there are still lots of faults and quality issues. But the film flowed and the storyline had thought and meaning. The film was watchable and much better than others are saying in their reviews. I noticed that there was quite a few of familiar faces in this film. These faces are from Steven M Smiths HAW. I was pleased to see Chris Bell again playing a lead role (Danny) who puts in a well delivered performance and I must mention Ross Boatman (Franks) who as always was fantastic. On the less positive side James Hodcroft (Lee) was a poor choice for this type of film. I have never met anybody from Essex who talks with such a corrective pronouncing tongue. Seriously, who taught this guy to speak? Stop emphasising every word spoken. I couldn't take this guy seriously and lowered the overall quality of acting within the lead roles. I was also amazed to see that there were other actors used in HAW that we're used again in LOS. Josh played my Mark Windham (also Mickey in HAW) is just awful. A complete mumbling poor excuse for an actor that makes watching paint dry fun. There were several of the hooligans in the early fight scenes duplicated from both films that have no idea what a real fight is and just hoping to get there face on TV.Although the quality of this film could of been better and at times still appeared to be filmed on a low quality mobile phone, I enjoyed the film. As low budget movies go, the team should be very proud of the end product. Chris Bell and Steven M Smith have written this film very well and brought it from pen and paper to our TV screens. I look forward to seeing what these two come up with next. If they keep improving as they have done here and do without the poor actors and repeat hooligans, things will surely only get better? If you do insist on using the same actors in your films, keep hold of the good ones such as Pat Garner, Alan Lund, Darren Placid and Colin Vidler who can keep the believability of the characters real and perform to high levels. My eyes will peeled for what you two have for us next.Keep up the good work.