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The Worst Film Ever

Good , But It Is Overrated By Some

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

Watching it is like watching the spectacle of a class clown at their best: you laugh at their jokes, instigate their defiance, and "ooooh" when they get in trouble.

MAGNIFICENT BODYGUARDS, released in 1978, is one of the handful of films that Jackie made during his 'Lo Wei' period, a series of low budget films either produced or directed by Wei in the mid-to-late '70s that are often seen as having interchangeable plots and less than impressive direction. The good news is that the martial arts choreography was co-handled by Jackie in this film, so at least we're in for some quality fighting.Things open in the thick of action as we witness a long-haired Jackie fighting off a gang of pole-wielding warriors. It turns out that this is his way of applying for a job! Jackie is Ting Chung, dubbed "the world's fastest boxer", and he's quickly employed by the mysterious Lady Nan to act as a bodyguard for herself and her sick brother (who is confined to a sedan chair) as they cross through the bandit-ridden Stormy Mountains to reach a distant city. Jackie picks some hired help from the townsfolk and also chooses an additional bodyguard for the expedition, a deaf tanner played by the film's second kung fu star, Bruce Liang.The rest of the film chronicles the adventures of the party as it set offs through the Stormy Mountains. First stop is a ghost town inhabited by a strange old woman and two rival fighters – the God of Darts and Tsang, whose catchphrase is "I'll skin you alive!". In Tsang we have the film's third and final kung fu star, James Tien, and he quickly joins Lady Nan's party on its journey through the mountains. Soon the travellers are fighting with the various bandit chiefs in the vicinity, including the Scholar – a man who dresses in pink, wields a fan as a weapon and has a small box on his head (?), Lady Liu, the Old Wolf and the Fake Monk.There's an engaging interlude as the three bodyguards seek refuge inside a booby-trapped Shaolin Temple only to be attacked by bloodthirsty monks, deafening bells, and poison gas, and a little respite at the Peace Hotel. Finally the party is ambushed by every bandit in the region and trapped in a valley. Jackie sneaks out to find help, but is double-crossed and taken to the palace of the mountain ruler, Lord Chu. Once there, the others join him, there's a twist as the identity of Lady Nan's "brother" is revealed, and all hell breaks loose in a final massacre as Jackie and his buddies fight for survival.The one unique thing about this particular film is that it was made in 3D, a process by which objects were seen to 'pop' out of the screen when viewing a special print with supplied glasses at the cinema. Two of the 'biggest' 3D films of the era were JAWS 3D and Friday the 13th Part III, but MAGNIFICENT BODYGUARDS came first, approximately five years before. Essentially, the viewer will notice that many different things seem to jut out at the screen as they watch the film. These include poles flying out of the screen, swords slashing towards the viewer, pots flying toward the camera, and even freeze-frame shots of snakes at one point. Of course there are also plenty of fists and feet hurled toward the viewer and, in my favourite effect, polystyrene rocks smash down into the camera – the most effective 3D moment in the whole film! One of the notable things about MAGNIFICENT BODYGUARDS is that Jackie shares the limelight with two other action stars of the period. Bruce Liang was a popular Bruce Lee impersonator who appeared in many rip-offs and he proves to be pretty nimble in his fight scenes, using lots of strong leg work. Meanwhile, James Tien was always something of an under-appreciated actor – probably because he was a lot older than the co-stars in his films – but he does very well here as a tough, sword-wielding warrior. It goes without saying that Jackie shines in the various action scenes and the focus is on his hand-to-hand combat throughout.The film has a general feeling of weirdness to it that is not helped by the inclusion of some music from STAR WARS – some Chinese films were notorious for their disregard of international copyright laws. A jolly song pops up as the heroes trek through the mountains and is quite amusing. However, the almost complete lack of humour sets it apart from Jackie's funny later movies and some elements of the story border on the fantastical (I'm thinking of the six-fingered man and the Red Indians). There's also an extremely gruesome moment late in the film in which Jackie tears off a female opponent's face, an effect that comes as a total shock and seems very out of place considering the film's genial tone elsewhere. Still, the final, lengthy three-on-one fight scene is very well staged and helps the viewer to overlook this misjudged gore effect.

It might not be held up alongside Chan's other efforts, but this raw venture is a neat little kung-fu showcase. This movie was made during the pre-humour stage of Jackie Chan's career, and is one of the relatively few serious movies that Jackie did. This is one of Jackie's earlier and more serious films. It has Jackie with long hair. This movie was directed by Wei Lo who brought you movies like the Big Boss, Fist of Fury, New Fist of Fury, Killer Meteors, To Kill With Intrigue, Spiritual Kung Fu and Dragon Fist. This movie is known for using Star Wars music and being really wacky. This was the first film in Hong Kong to be filmed using 3-D technology. Well, I saw this first on a VHS during the mid 80s n dint notice any 3-D effects. Has some decent kung fu n a very weird ending.

Here is a movie filmed in 3-D and now it is about 40 years later and I am watching it at home in 2-D in about VHS resolution with dual Chinese and English subtitles. As bad as this movie is the 3-D badness is all I can focus on. Kicks, spear points and even bell clangers are used to take advantage of the 3-D effect but now all these shots seem out of place and jarring. I refuse to believe that years ago these odd angles and objects suddenly stuck in front of the audience face did anything to improve the action. I like old Viewmasters but otherwise 3-D is the worst idea in movies. When I watch terrible movies like this I try to find a "moment". Even the worst movie can have a special moment, not necessarily scripted, that hits a nerve, sparks a memory, or just creates something special out of the nothingness. Not all movies have a moment but this one does. At about 47 minutes James, Bruce and Jackie are standing next to each other thinking. Then James gets this expression on his face "What the heck is going on here?" and he walks off. Then Bruce does the same thing, then Jackie. Yes, that was the defining moment of the movie – what the heck is going on here!- then they all leave!

This movie was made during the pre-humour stage of Jackie Chan's career, and is one of the relatively few serious movies that Jackie did. I like his humorous films as well but I find they can slow down the pace a little. Not so with this movie as it's action from start to finish.This is one of the more interesting Jackie Chan movie that I've seen. Jackie plays a bodyguard who is hired to accompany a woman through a dangerous stretch of countryside. Jackie is hired yet agrees to do the job for free...this is just the start of a complicated story line.Unlike his more humorous movies this movie is out-and-out action from the very start. The fighting scenes are good and frequent. The story line has a few twists and isn't just the standard `I will revenge my father/brother' plot. Interesting things to note are the 3D effects, at one point they enter a monastery that has swastikas on the wall, then when the team are trying to pass through a valley they start to play the Star Wars theme!!!Overall this is quite different from most Jackie movies in that the story line is rich, the action is frequent, and the twists rival Fight Club.Not the best movie he's ever done, but well worth a look.