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Sorry, this movie sucks

hyped garbage

If you like to be scared, if you like to laugh, and if you like to learn a thing or two at the movies, this absolutely cannot be missed.

The thing I enjoyed most about the film is the fact that it doesn't shy away from being a super-sized-cliche;

Wow, you're late. Well, I am too, being that this came out over a year ago, but they were super late to the Hostel/Saw torture porn already- faded fad.There are two things that work in this movie. (Three, if you're a heterosexual male or lesbian: tons of titties!) One: the actual, and minute, torture scenes were quite effective. Definitely had to look away for a few moments; they was pretty intense. And two: Robert LaSardo formally known as The Artist…in this crapfest.He acted, spoke and stole scenes better than four times the ability of anyone else, with the exception of his protégé – she was pretty decent, so she gets a two times less than LaSardo. If not for all the other garbage in this "thriller," I would actually highly recommend the movie for him alone. When the movie opens, we're introduced to both insanely terrible dialogue – so bad, I thought this movie was dubbed and tried to follow their mouths when they spoke to see if it was; incredibly, this was actually from the script – and sort of a group of Americans in what appears to be maybe Europe. The movie opens so vaguely that when the actual plot kicks in, or even more than half the movie was over, it was hard to attach ourselves to any main character or care if any of them lived or died.The gist of it is: one of the travelling friends and his could-be-love- interest hook up with a girl with danger written all over her…literally. She takes them to The Artist and his tattoo parlor and after the few good scenes in the movie, the nightmare begins for those two "customers." The rest of this crud involves nobody friends of the two initial victims trying to find them and fake arguing to what they should do.I guess you could call it a nostalgia flick for the torture porn movies of days long since passed, but it seemed more of a "Wait? Those days are over?" surprise from the two writers/directors of this. Just watch Robert LaSardo's other works. Trust me: it won't be hard to find something else he's been in. ***Final thoughts: Like most movie-goers, my friend saw the trailer first and was interested. Personally, I despise trailers as they give away too much, or even a little that I would rather be surprised about in the movie. I did watch this trailer…afterwards and I can say I'm glad I didn't see it before. It showed a ton of scenes I had no idea were coming. Granted, it didn't give away everything – there was one poor twist in the ending it avoided, but it certainly would've ruined a ton for me. Luckily, I do have friends like mine who will watch trailers for me and tell me if I'd be interested. THAT…I can get behind. Spoiling trailers, not so much.

This is no Hostel for a start! If you are after gore, you really won't get any and you REALLY won't care about the characters.There isn't really a plot, other than a pale attempt at making a copy of Hostel without the extremism.We have an odd mix of American and British 'no-ones' visiting Lithuania -we know *nothing* about these people throughout the film. People just constantly shout, become violent and have sex for no reason - there is no reason or realism and the plot is no clearer.This reminded me of a HG Lewis film - with a couple of unemotional gore effects that look like they are from Blood Feast/The 60's.The only good thing I can say is the main tattoo bloke with the beard had some presence.

Alright, I have to chime in here, seen this film 3 times and every time I find out something new about the story. Not sure if that's just myself feeling smart or if it was the filmmakers intent. Never the less this was probably my favorite horror film in the last 5 years. This one came out of left field in the sea of slow-burn crap that has been poising the horror waters as of late. The film was super fast, exciting and gory but had substance as the Artist played by Robert Lasardo really delivered. This dude is super creepy but yet endearing, call me messed up but I found myself cheering for him to succeed in his quest! The Artist had this calmness about him that makes you uncomfortable, and I mean that in a good way, I was effected by his performance. No spoilers from me do to IMDb's stupid policy. Anyways big fan of this film, super hot chicks, all of them! I was in awe of Joey Fisher, holy crap she is hot! PLEASE do a sequel and put her in it! It's rare to see such natural busty beauty in the Ent biz today, and to top it off she can act! Anyways to wrap this up, the film was a smart, gory fun ride from begging to end. If you want something fresh, crazy and against the norm, check it out. Highly recommended!

Plenty of exotic location and culture to explore, yet Anarchy Parlor still ends up with typical dumb college kids encounter with danger as its main plot. There are so few of likable characters as they are spewing profanities as replacement for acting, these guys are true representative of swag generation. Thankfully, the lead Robert LaSardo is physically and verbally convincing. Fans of the genre might find the gore very uniquely adequate, the shameless fanservice nudity is surprisingly good as well.Set in Lithuania, a group of dumb college kids fornicate and party a lot until they happen to stumble on a tattoo parlor. The Artist (Robert LaSardo) is strange yet philosophically suave, unbeknownst to them he also harbors a sinister secret. Fans might recognize this set-up from Hostel, and to be frank, there's not much else here. Aside from The Artist himself, the rest of characters are tediously uncharismatic.Script is filled with curse word as though the movie tries to set a record of cursing per minute. At times these guys and girls make decisions so horrible it's mind-boggling they are not shanked by random people yet. Not to mention one particular girl screamed so unbelievably annoying, I rooted for the bad guy to finish her and end my misery. It's not an understatement that the characters are mirror image of Jersey Shore cast.What separate Anarchy Parlor are the detailed bloody sequences it presents. Make-up and practical effect like the blood work are disgustingly good down to all the nasty bits. It's not the typical slasher flick mayhem, but a lot more of solemn cutting action, the movie revels in it. There are also tons of sex scene and nudity, which are honestly good. This might just be the level of softcore production value. I guess that merits more point in rating.As the screenplay is lackluster, a decent performance by the lead doesn't negate the rest of the loud bickering, it's quite hard to recommend this to casual audience. Furthermore, the gore is exclusively sickening. Anarchy Parlor is designed especially for horror fans only, the rest needs not enter.