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Strong and Moving!

Overrated and overhyped

After playing with our expectations, this turns out to be a very different sort of film.

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

KOMODO VS. COBRA is another Z-grade slice of movie monster entertainment from prolific B-movie king Jim Wynorski. This one's a bottom-of-the-barrel production that throws together all the elements familiar from Wynorski's movies: bad acting, cardboard characters, top-heavy starlets in revealing attire, and massive CGI monsters that look like they belong in an old Playstation game.This one's a kind of spiritual successor to the awfulness that was BOA VS. PYTHON, as it follows almost exactly the same storyline. On a remote tropical island (shades of JURASSIC PARK, which this film so wants to be), dastardly scientists have been genetically experimenting on the wildlife, leading to a pair of giant monsters wreaking havoc on the unsuspecting tourists. What it all boils down to is an average action-adventure template with characters running around and emoting and occasionally being bloodlessly eaten by the beasties.The special effects are very poor here, although not the poorest I've seen, but the monster action could have been worse, I suppose. There are a few memorably icky moments, like the bit with the giant leeches, which is well achieved. Otherwise, it's business as usual for the B-movie genre.

You know, I do actually sit down and watch these movies. Not even for the "maybe, just maybe one might be a good movie" because even though I have heard otherwise with a couple of these movies - To me they are the modern day version of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. You know what to expect from the title - some campy fun that mocks itself when intentionally making a bad movie.Okay so the set-up is so stock they might as well have taken old footage to tell it. Reporters go to a mysterious island to uncover a science experiment. They find a giant Cobra and Komodo Dragon and they must get to a downed chopper before the military bombs the island.So here's my biggest complaint - It's BORING! It feels like it's playing it straight when for me - that's the LAST thing I want to see these movies for. Give me more chainsawing sharks in mid air and surf one down to the ground and surviving please! That's why I prefer movies like the Sharknado series and Sharktopus - They know they're sh#t! So they take advantage of all they can to deliver some of the most intentionally goofy crap to get a laugh.But on that it has all the right ingredients to make a movie on par with the aforementioned movies. The acting for this movie sucks right across the board to the point of hilarity, it was no surprise when I found out one of them has a career in porn. The effects are on par with N64 cut-scenes (although I might be harsh on N64 cut-scenes). So in theory this combination could have worked.But another thing that doesn't is the title. The Komodo and the Cobra don't fight unless you count the couple of seconds near the end. I think we see them rarely - Oh yeah! because the acting was so riveting we needed to see more of that! It just has too many problems to really live up to what I was expecting. Maybe I might find another movie of which I would enjoy the stupidity of, like Sharknado but at the end of the day, this is just a forgettable mess.

Another laughably lame and senseless low-budget sci-fi TV presentation… but actually its kind of amusing… kind of… in a passably undemanding way. Am I being soft? I don't know why they come up with these titles. Yes there's a komodo. And yes there's a cobra. However what's the deal with 'versus' in between? Sure they do come to blows… in only two sequences (one recapping an incident and the other being the dodgy climax) and quite boring exchanges I might add. The get-up is the same old routine of a scientific experiment getting out of hand on a secluded island (no dinosaurs about), and some innocent bystanders (environmentalists hoping to expose animal testing) getting caught up in it. This sees a komodo dragon and cobra becoming massive in statue with the government soon wanting to destroy any sort of the evidence (including witnesses) of its existence by blowing up the island. So this leaves the survivors racing against time to find a way off. The prominent staples existed of awful video game CGI, hack script, few dingy sets (although the tropical island setting was easy on the eyes), throwaway characters (but I found the performances faired up), lifelessly tacky thrills (which for some reason kept using the same repetitive shot of the victim just standing there in terror… which implied I'm waiting, please eat me now, I'm not going anywhere and eventually they were swallowed whole… well almost as it seemed to always take a second gulp to finish them off or just save the hassle by stupidly squashing them) and a very hysterical edge with some sort of wretch message amongst the acts of survival. Director Jim Wynorski seems to be on cruise control throughout. Michael Paré has fun with his gruff dialogues and Michelle Borth added much needed sparks. Renee Talbert is there to pout a lot, quite successfully too.

Nothing will ever top KOMODO with the lovely Jill Hennessey as a shrink (!), but KvC ain't quite as bad as I expected for a SYFY channel quickie. Just make sure to watch it while drunk or stoned, or while trying to go to sleep. The unimaginative title basically says it all: A group of mostly unknown actors converge on an island where a government experiment to grow giant vegetables has gone wrong. Giant creatures that came into contact with the vegetables have taken over the island and eaten everyone. So now the government is preparing to blow up the island, regardless of the people being there. The acting is wonderfully atrocious, especially a mustachioed general right out of THE INCREDIBLE HULK TV series, but this is typical of this kind of made-for-cable schlock. The CGI creatures are TV-level quality, which means you know you're watching cartoon monsters. However, two of the gals in the group are very cute, and worth watching as they run here and there in their tight little outfits. You just want to eat them up!