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Undescribable Perfection

Better Late Then Never

This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

The film may be flawed, but its message is not.

Forbes Riley is a fresh-out-of-college teacher who lands her first job at a Catholic school having earned an infamy after the professor prior to her arrival died when stabbed in brutal fashion, bleeding all over her classroom. This comes after a lunatic literally escapes from the asylum, taking the uniform of a nurse he stabs to death in a bathroom stall (something he likes to do). When stab-murders start up at the college to students and faculty alike, Riley considers a male professor she is romantically interested in to be the possible suspect responsible. Rick Randig is Mark, Riley's love interest, and soon someone she considers dangerous. Dick Biel is a rather odd, emotionally-inert, wheel-chair dependent priest and head of the school. The cast of students is a rather uninteresting, unlikable bunch of male pigs and female whiners. Riley's students seem totally bored and rudely devoid of interest in anything she says or does in class!Lots of knives going in torsos, and blood spilling all over the place. Plenty of bloody bodies discovered, primarily by Riley. The psycho- killings are routinely directed with little energy or pizazz whatsoever. The keyboard score does little to be a pick-me-up for the audience in chase sequences. The bleak conclusion involving Riley was a surprise, I must admit, and the twist was unique if a bit obvious (why wouldn't the killer be someone victims wouldn't expect "standing" in front of them?). Mark just slaps you in the face as a red herring. The flat photographic work and immense lack of anyone worth a cent to care about doesn't help matters.Student Bodies made fun of films just like this one. Still, with a name like Splatter University, slasher fans will want to checkmark their watch list so this will more than likely make its way on the screen of devotees.

This movie is so bad you will think it was made in the 70's, not the 80's.It's like the worst of the worst slasher pics made in that era. I would not be surprised if this movie was actually made in the 70s and released a decade later.It's really that bad.And the worst part: not gratuitous nudity or sex.The Story.A patient escapes from a mental hospital, killing one of his keepers and then a University professor after he makes his way to the local college. Next semester, the late prof's replacement and a new group of students have to deal with a new batch of killings.

I am an avid B-Rate horror film buff and have viewed my fair share of slasher pictures, so I have a substantial gauge to judge this film by. It easily ranks in the upper echelon of the worst horror films the 1980's has to offer. It isn't as scary as Night of the Demons, it isn't as gory as Re-Animator and lacks the camp value of There's Nothing Out There. That being said, this film has no value. Keep in mind, the movie artwork is for a completely different film. The stills shots on the back of the DVD box aren't taken from this film.VIOLENCE: $$$ (There is plenty of violence but we've seen it all before. A murderer kills nubile students and the occasional facility member by slitting throats and all the other tired methods of murder that horror films utilize).NUDITY: None STORY: $$ (The story focuses on Francine Forbes - who wisely changed her name to Forbes Riley after this film was made - who accepts a job teaching at a university. People start to die and Forbes believes the killer is targeting her. Is it her new heartthrob with a checkered past or the libido-crazed student? To be honest, it is impossible to care because the script doesn't flesh out any character outside Forbes).ACTING: $ (Terrible on all levels. This slasher has the feel of a school production -high school that is because college students could make a better flick than this. Forbes showcases a modicum of talent as does Seminara as one of the students, but everyone else is of the "extras" caliber of acting).

This was the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. It was so bad, in fact, that it almost was the end of me. I was just barely able to get out of bed the next day. My credit card bills are climbing, my car payment is too high, I have a mortgage that's slowly strangling me, and I now must live with the knowledge that I can never un-see 'Splatter University.' It was almost too much to take. Ultimately, I got out of bed to feed my fish--and I couldn't let anything happen to myself while they were dependent on me to live. God only knows where I'd be right now if I didn't have a fish tank.This movie takes place over a span of a couple weeks. Yet in every scene, all the characters are wearing the same clothes. If I had to listen to that idiot with the sleeveless blue t-shirt on howl like a wolf one more time, I was going to put my head through the tv.When I rented it, I was hoping for a college slasher romp, fraught with scantily clad college-aged honeys. None of that here. How about great make-up fx and gallons of blood? Try again. A creepy killer that was good for at least ONE scare? Nope.I never in a million years would think that a movie with a running time of 79 MINUTES could feel so long. But now that I know, there's no going back. You see, I've graduated from Splatter University, and it weighs on my conscience like a student loan with payments made directly to hell.