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Touches You

Although it has its amusing moments, in eneral the plot does not convince.

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

The acting in this movie is really good.

Right, well given the fact that I hadn't even heard about this movie prior to stumbling upon it by random luck should serve as some kind of indicator of what I would be in for. But I still decided to give the movie a chance. It did have Kevin Sorbo in it after all, and he does manage to put out an adequate movie every now and again."Something Beneath" wasn't one of those times.This movie was quite far from being scary. It wasn't even mildly thrilling, so don't get your hopes up in terms of getting to watch something grand and spectacular in the horror genre.The special effects in the movie were adequate. They were not million-dollar-budget-blow-you-out-of-your-seat special effects, mind you. But they still served their purposes fairly well.As for the acting in the movie, well let's just say that people acted well enough, taking into consideration the type of movie that it is and the budget."Something Beneath" is hardly the type of movie that you will return to watch a second time, provided you manage to sit through it the first time at all.

Just under your feet lurks an evil so deadly, so intelligent, it is scary. The attendees of an ecological summit are about to discover a bigger problem than global warming.The plot reminds me of "Phantoms", but that may just be me. The film itself clearly has no relation to the Affleck masterpiece. This one is clearly more ecologically-based (and they never stop mentioning tree huggers, global warming and more -- they tried too hard).What does it say when Kevin Sorbo is the only "name" actor? Maybe nothing, as lots of great films have unknown actors. But when you are seeking a mild celebrity and the only guy you can get to sign on for the project is Sorbo, that may not be a good sign for your movie. (I should stress this was not meant to knock Sorbo, who is quite good in this film. He is just not a name that generally draws in crowds.) This was definitely intended to be humorous -- right off the bat, there are jokes about a dead guy and the line, "Days without a workplace injury -- zero." I appreciate that, because if you cannot make a scary horror film, you may as well make it funny.

Something Beneath is set at ecological conference at a newly built out of the way resort, ecological crusader Father Douglas Middleton (Kevin Sorbo) is organising the event & has some guy named Eugene (Rob McLaughlin) as his keynote speaker. Unfortunately Eugene turns up dead before he gets to make his speech, the death is put down to an asthma attack by a worried resort manager who wants to keep any bad publicity to a minimum. Then soon after 'it' girl Mikaela Strovsky (Brittany Scoobie) turns up with her wrist's slashed, coincidence or are the two seemingly unrelated death's connected & just what is that black slime that seems to be oozing from everywhere? Father Middleton & resort events organiser Khali Spence (Natalie Brown) try to get to the bottom of the mystery...This Canadian production is yet another Sci-Fi Channel original but this time instead of killer mutant snakes or ants or fish or dinosaurs or aliens we get some black slime monster, directed by David Winning I thought Something Beneath tried to do something a bit different with the 'Creature Feature' blueprint but comes off just as bad as any giant animal/insect/monster/alien/resurrected dinosaur film made by the Sci-Fi Channel you care to mention. Along with the standard clichéd 'Creature Feature' angle the script has an annoyingly simplistic pro-environmental message to it that has all the subtlety of a sledge hammer, we are told in no uncertain terms that the environment must be protected & big business is the real evil monster. Yeah, yeah, seen it & heard it all before in dozens of other much better films. Something Beneath also has one of the worst endings I have ever seen, our hero Father Middleton & the token female love interest Khali (I told you it was clichéd) are stuck in an abandoned silo with the huge slime monster at the bottom & Khali hanging off a broken bridge in mortal danger. So what happens, so what do the makers decide to do to round the film off from this point? That's right they have Khali hold her homemade necklace thing, say a few words in her native language as a prayer & the slime monster then just leaves her alone & goes away. The makers of Something Beneath have the huge slime monster defeated by a woman's faith & a few words. Lame. In fact it's one of the laziest, most random & moronic endings I've ever seen in a film & doesn't stay in keeping with the rest of the film anyway since there's not been any supernatural elements to that point. The pace is poor, there are a few plot-holes like why does it take hours for Deadmarsh to be affected by the hallucinations when earlier both Eugene & Mikaela had hallucinations almost immediately?When you get this slime on you it gets into your bloodstream & produces hallucinations revolving around your worst fears that result in your death, the idea is quite good but nothing is done with it & people have very cheap looking hallucinations like seeing things in mirrors or being chased by a dog. Dull & lacking in imagination considering the possibilities were endless. There's a really bad moment at the start when a construction worker has a bulldozer heading towards him & instead of running or simply moving to the left or right he starts to stumble backwards to try & make the scene look more menacing & to try & make it look as if he is in danger but it ends up just looking ridiculous. I am not sure if the version I saw on telly was cut or not but there's no gore & there did seem to be various awkward edits & jumpy looking scenes. The CGI slime monster at the end doesn't look too bad but it isn't great or anything, just maybe slightly better than I expected.Shot in Winnipeg, Manitoba in Canada this has the usual average production values most of these Sci-Fi Channel monster films do, to be honest you will have totally forgotten about it within five minutes of it finishing. Kevin Sorbo is as big a name actor as the makers could afford which says everything.Something Beneath could have been something a little bit different with it's unusual monster but in the end it still feels exactly the same as dozens of other 'Creature Features' & doesn't try to distinguish itself that much. More generic, lazy, by-the-numbers 'Creature Feature' rubbish that is instantly forgettable.

Wow. So bad, that my heart hurts for Canadian cinema... Honestly, I've not seen worse acting/directing in a VERY long time. Why would such a complete piece of garbage ever get made? Who would ever care for it to fill even the least watched time slot on TV???? The writing was completely 2D, the concept beyond a watered down rip off of every thriller that has come before this bomb, such as Tremors, Poltergeist, "It"and so on. The last scene - did they really think that awful kiss was a good take??? For god's sake, all you have to say is "let's try it one more time". Was the director blind? I think this may be the worst movie I have ever seen... The ONLY reason I saw it is because I'm sick with a terrible case of strep and couldn't even reach the converter. Plus, it was so horrible, that it was almost compelling.