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Simply Perfect

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,

I like this slightly over the top interpretation of Mike Hammer, especially after viewing all the previous watered down versions.I, The Jury (1982) Directed by Richard T. Heffron, starring Armand Assante, as Mike Hammer, Barbara Carreram as Dr. Charlotte Bennett, Laurene Landon as Velda, Alan King as Charles Kalecki, Geoffrey Lewis as Joe Buttler, and Paul Sorvino as Det. Pat Chambers.I first saw this probably sometime in the late 80's once, had nothing to compare it to, and barely remembered it so it was a delight to get to view this the other day, especially since I've recently been revisiting Spillane and the films based on his novels.It took 30 some odd years for a film to really do full justice to the zeitgeist of a Mickey Spillane novel. The best looking and true Noir adaptation is still "Kiss Me Deadly" (1955) with Ralph Meeker, Jack Elam, Strother Martin, Jack Lambert, Gabby Rogers, and Cloris Leachman, but it was hampered by being made while the Hays Code was still in effect. The original "I, The Jury" (1953) was DOA having non presence Biff Eliot in the title role, but at least the babes were "hammertomically" correct , "My Gun is Quick" (1957) starring Robert Bray as had the right caliber of women, but had the action not in NYC, but in some seaside resort and Hammer was running around with a pop gun not his trademark .45 Colt Automatic. "The Girl Hunters" (1963) had Spillane in the title role, but he was no actor, and aside from the establishing shots of NYC , the film was shot in England. At least it had the babes.But WOW!, right from the opening credits of I, The Jury (1982) you know you are in Mike Hammer land with the emphasis on women and the Colt .45 automatic, Broads & Bullets, Girls and Guns (both kinds). I'm sure graphic novelist Frank Miller (Sin City) had to have seen this graphic opening sequence in three colors black, white, and red, and was influenced by it. If not, it predates that style by 10 years.This version has Hammer's office located above Times Square, set in the post Vietnam 80's. Hammer is a sleazy detective working divorce cases. We first see him pulling a dead fish out of his tank and holding it while talking to another fish/client, who is worried about his wife cheating on him. Hammer asks to see her picture notices that she is beautiful, then tells the client that he's in trouble. Next shot has Hammer screwing the clients wife while fielding a call from him, the conversation is humorous along the lines of , "yea I'm right on top of her", and "yea, don't worry, I'm very familiar with all her moves".Hammer's one armed war buddy Jack takes a slug in the guts and dies crawling across his living room, notified of his death Hammer (like a licensed rogue cop with full access to NYPD info) acts like bull in a china shop and the action (along with the catchy and wonderfully complementary score) never quits… that is unless a broad drifts into range, and a bevy of lovelies do so.In this version Velda who in the novels was also a licensed detective holds her own doing double duty as a competent secretary/associate, and quasi love interest, she shows flashes of jealousy when Mike returns to the office disheveled and bruised from his escapades.All the actors put in decent performances, I just wish Geoffrey Lewis had a bigger part, my only quibble.What's not to like.Barely Neo Noir if that. The one noir lit sequence that I do remember was when Hammer goes to pay respects to Jack's wife. Most of the film is too brightly lit.No first person narrative.And well, this version deviates a bit from the novel, i.e., using a surrogate serial killer in place of Kaleki's henchman to the detriment of the novel's excellent Bellamy Twins sequences, the substitution of the sex clinic for the whorehouse, and bringing an ex-CIA paranoid operative "house as fortress" character into the story.Armand Assante as Hammer hews closer to Ralph Meeker looks than what you picture Mike Hammer should look like (for me that would have been the great Charles McGraw), but he has the machismo and misogynistic qualities right, lol .The cinematography is adequate, very pedestrian, nothing stylistic.Setting the story in the post Vietnam 1980's takes away the dirtier, grittier, sleazier, New York of the late Forties to early Sixties. There's no street level connection to the Burlesque Joints, XXX Movie Theaters, The "Live Nude Girl" Peep Shows, the Arcades, the newspaper stands, the street vendors, the con games, the Dime A Dance Ballrooms, the bums, the panhandlers, the hookers, etc., etc., New York was starting to loosing that real ambiance, too bad. I remember The 42nd St. Times Square area ridden with the above in 1970, and by the time I returned in 1996 it had changed to Disneyland. Minor quibbles.Still excellent film 8.5/10,some funny bits, almost the perfect Hammer with an excellent score.The only way to improve would be a Sin City type treatment keeping the machismo and misogynistic qualities this film has with the dirtier, grittier, sleazier, New York of the late Forties to early Sixties.

Oh the 70s was a great time for crime features… although "I, the Jury" was made in the early eighties it had me thinking it was from the 70s like some sort leftovers that found itself in the wrong decade. And hey that's not a bad thing at all. Originally it looked like it was cult-filmmaker Larry Cohen's project, as he penned the screenplay and was to direct to only be replaced by Richard T. Heffron (Futureworld). This is another adaptation of novelist's Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer character. Private detective Mike Hammer looks into the case to seek revenge when he learns of the killing of his one-armed ex-army buddy. What he digs up about his mate's death, is something quite big."I, the Jury" is a tough as nails, lean and steamy pulp crime / film noir feature that's sexually charged (an opened orgy sequence) and brutally violent (a ghastly slit throat) amongst a rather seedy backdrop. Filling in the role as the iconic Mike Hammer is a fittingly hardboiled, but wry Armand Assante. Surrounding him is a bunch of attractive, but formidable ladies in the shape of Barbara Carrera and Laurene Landon. Also you got the likes of Paul Sorvino, Alan King, Geoffrey Lewis and Barry Snider pitching in with good performances. Cohen's story remains exhaustively captivating; by always being on the move in what is a complicated web of conspiracies and leads. The dialogues are bold. Sometimes contrived in its actions, but it does open up a can of worms. Heffron's steadfast direction is economically staged with moments of thrilling engagements and brooding passages that he's not afraid to bare flesh, but at times it felt like I was watching a long-winded TV episode. Bill Conti composes a titillatingly smoking blues score, which installs a whirlwind of emotion.

There is a reason this film is hardly ever mentioned today: it's a completely average and forgettable actioner that looks and sounds like a TV-movie (spiced-up with a little nudity and some gratuitous sleaze). The script is murky and the direction lacks style. Having not read a Mickey Spillane book so far, I can not estimate how accurate Armand Assante's interpretation of Mike Hammer is, but his performance seems acceptable. Less acceptable is Barbara Carrera, who has one facial expression throughout the film; at least she has a nude scene, which explains her casting. Laurene Landon, whom you might remember from "All The Marbles", is wasted as Hammer's devoted secretary. (*1/2)

As of this writing, I have not seen the original version of I, The Jury for which this movie is a remake. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen Mike Hammer-based movies before. But holy cow, this movie was just absolute crap.Mike Hammer's friend, Jack, a one-armed man, is murdered. Investigator Hammer, an unorthodox cop (so unorthodox that he freely contaminates crime scenes), is on the obvious mission to uncover the culprit. As Mike Hammer, Armande Assante, hardly seemed even bemused by the government/military corruption behind the murder. Nor the links to the mafia. Not even as it involved the sex clinic doctor. Neither was I given, the ridiculously mounting body count--both in terms of murders and the sex scenes until reaching an even more ridiculous ending.I wouldn't recommend this movie to people interested in a good murder mystery. Although, I don't know how Mike Hammer fans would react to this movie, or whether they'd want to watch more Mike Hammer in action.