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People are voting emotionally.

hyped garbage

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

Where to start? This movie is such a mish-mash, such a hodge-podge. Hasselhoff plays Hasselhoff, including scenes with his shirt off to display his slightly hairy and muscular chest, ha ha ha. Linda Blair doesn't go topless, though, and that might have been her redemption for the performance she put in. Hildegarde Kneff was the star for me, with her bewitching accent and ominous posing. Delicious. The "plot" is a laugh. The rape scene is unpleasant. A few scenes of violence are quite well-done, e.g. the lip-sewing, while some others seem to be from the 1950s, lamentable and amateurish. This film dates from 1988, just before Hasselhoff made his mark in Baywatch, but years after Blair had spun her head around and thrown up green soup in The Exorcist. HA HA HA HA HA Rates a 3 overall for me... worth watching for the overall amusement, but it is a BAD movie.

At least there are some big names in this campy horror film to keep us occupied. Double billed on a new blue ray with "Ghost House", Witchery has David Hasselhoff (post Knight Rider, but before Baywatch) and Linda Blair (waaaaaaay after Exorcist). Another Italian horror film, filmed in Massachusetts, this one is directed by Fabrizio Laurenti. Like the Lenzi horror films, this one is so campy, so bad, that its kind of fun to watch. And who IS that Lady in Black? She and her magic gemstone pop up now and then, adding to the mystery. A real estate agent tries to sell a house on a private island, but Gary (Hasselhoff) and his assistant entered the house (without permission) to take photos. Jane (L. Blair) has her own secrets, as you will see. More cheesy special effects, and of course, the usual blood and gore. I'm surprised that Linda Blair still wanted to do films like this, since she was so well known for The Exorcist. It's pretty creepy. And as of today, only 3 out of 10 stars on IMDb.The "story" starts out pretty solid, unlike most oldie horror films. The acting and directing are a bit lame, but everyone does a pretty good job with the lines they are given. For a lot of of the cast, this is the only film they ever made. About two thirds of the way through, the plot gets weird and goes down these left turns. Lots of screaming, organ music, and smoke. Similar plot to Ten Little Indians, where the guests get knocked off, one by one. Interesting, if just for the historical value.

Oh my... bad clothing, worse synth music and the worst: David Hasselhoff. The 80's are back with vengeance in Witchery, an American-Italian co-production, helmed by infamous Joe 'D'Amato on the production side and short-careered director (thank heavens for small miracles) Fabrizio Laurenti directing . Marketed as a kind of sequel to Sam Raimi's Evil Dead series in Italy (that was dubbed "La Casa" in there), Witchery delivers some modest gore groceries and bad acting.A mix of ghost story, possessions and witchcraft, the film bounces clueless from scene to another without letting some seriously wooden actors and hilarious day and night mix-ups slow it's progress to expectable ending, topped with some serious WTF surprise climax. (I just love the look on her face...) Surprisingly Laurenti manages to gather some suspense and air of malice in few - very few - scenes; unluckily for him, these few glimpses of mild movie magic go down quickly and effectively.The plus sides are experienced, when the gore hits the fan. This department is quite effective and entertaining in that classic latex and red paint style of the 80's Italo-gore, when things were made 100% hand-made and as shockingly and vivid as modest budgets could allow. I could only watch with sadistic glee and few laughters all the over-the-top ways that obnoxious characters (and actors) got mangled and misused, one by one. I only felt sorry for Linda Blair, who apparently haven't been let to try any other than that good old possessed girl / woman role ever in his career, or so it looks like when checking out his filmography.Well, folks - not much more to tell, and even less to tell home about. Don't expect too much when spending some rainy afternoon with this, and probably you'll experience at least some mild fun. It also helps if your rotten little heart pounds in the beat of 80's euro gore horror. And speaking of hearts - every movie that has David Hasselhoff getting skewered by a sizeable metal object and bleeding heavily around the room and corridors, MUST have it's one on the right place.This is my truth - what is yours?

Witchcraft/Witchery/La Casa 4/ and whatever else you wish to call it. How about..Crud.A gathering of people at a Massachusetts island resort are besieged by the black magic powers of an evil witch killing each individual using cruel, torturous methods. Photographer Gary(David Hasselhoff)is taking pictures for Linda(Catherine Hickland whose voice and demeanor resemble EE-YOR of the Winnie the Poo cartoon), a virgin studying witchcraft, on the island resort without permission. Rose Brooks(Annie Ross, portraying an incredibly rude bitch)is interested in perhaps purchasing the resort and, along with husband Freddie(Robert Champagne, who is always ogling other women much younger than him), pregnant daughter Jane(Linda Blair)and grandson Tommy(Michael Manchester, who just looks bored throughout, probably wanting to watch Sesame Street instead of starring in this rubbish), go by boat to the resort being treated to a look at the property by Realtor Tony Giordano's son Jerry(Rick Farnsworth), obviously a pup in the business getting his feet wet. Along with these folks is architect Leslie(Leslie Cumming, whose character is a nympho)who might help Rose re-design the resort. The boat's captain is killed by The Lady in Black(Hildegard Knef, wearing her make-up and lip-stick extra thick)and a storm is brewing. The boat drives off by itself(..guided by the invisible power of The Lady in Black, I guess)with everyone stuck in the decrepit resort, which is in dire need of repairs. Most of the victims, before meeting their grisly fates are carried through a type of red wormhole whose vortex leads to another dimension(..perhaps a type of hell or something)where they are tortured by these fiends dressed in raggedy clothes with a crummy visage. One victim has her mouth sown before being hung upside down in a chimney, roasted as the others light the fireplace. One poor soul is tortured by harsh twistings of rope wrapped tightly around her flesh before being found hanging from the snout of a swordfish penetrating through her neck. One fellow is slowly suffocating as his veins bulge(..and bleed) and neck's blood vessels burst squirting in Hasselhoff's face! One fellow is crucified with nails hammered into his hands before being hung upside down over an open flame. Blair's pregnant victim becomes possessed with her hair standing on end speaking in another woman's voice. One is raped by this demonic man with a "diseased" mouth as the hellish hobos stand nearby gleefully cheering. The film, despite it's excesses, is mostly dull fodder for those who really wish to see the lowest point in the careers of Hasselhoff and Blair, who deserve better than this. Almost unbearable at times, building little-to-no suspense. Clumsy execution of the death sequences which look cheap and laughable. Sure some gore is okay, but most of the film shows victims after they've been run through the ringer. We do get a chance to see pregnant women(..who look exactly like stuntmen in costume with bad wigs) jumping out three story windows. Oh, and The Lady in Black's reflected face often pops up on inanimate objects for characters to see. Tommy has a little Sesame Street recorder which tapes The Lady in Black's mumbo jumbo chants, obviously used for later. For some reason, The Lady in Black likes to visit little Tommy. He's not at all scared of her, for Tommy's just too bored to show any expression on his face, much less fear. Need I say more? This one's a real stinker. Ugh.