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Wonderful character development!

hyped garbage

A lot of fun.

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

With Christmas coming up,I started looking round for DVDs that I could sell.Whilst looking round for films,I spotted a DVD that my dad gave to me as a birthday present (not sure what that says about me!) With having recently seen Sirpa Lane be a "love goddess",I felt that it was the perfect time to see her go to space!The plot:Planning to make neutron bombs,the leaders of earth decide to send Starship captain Larry Madison and his crew to outer space in search of an element called Antallum,which is to the main ingredient in the bombs. Discovering that a planet called Lorigon is rich in Antallum,Madison and the crew travel to the planet.Reaching the planet,the crew run into a robot who will cause each of them to tap into their primal beast in space.View on the film:Before I get to the movie,I have to mention that whilst they give the movie clear subtitles,Shameless give the film a raw transfer,with the soundtrack being hollow and the image being rather burnt.For his trip to space,co-writer/(along with Aldo Crudo)director Alfonso Brescia plops the movie down on a space hopper,as disco lights jump across the screen as a very low budget robot stomps around.Along with his disco steps, Brescia pushes the sex-Fi into a very strange direction,which go from the cute naked human cast being joined by stock footage of horses having sex to a half human/half animal having sex with anything that moves.Kicking their tantalising space mission off with delightfully silly fights and mysterious dream sequences,the writers sadly let everything the movie offers float away.Landing on the planet,the writers hold back from fight scenes until the end,and replace the mysterious dreams with orgies,which whilst shot perfectly fine,sink the movie in a dull,dry ditch,as the beast dies in space.

This cheesy slice of Italian B-movie schlock has all the production value and style of a trashy 80s sci-fi series rapidly approaching cancellation (think Buck Rogers in the 25th Century at the end of its second season), with cheap and nasty costumes, crappy set design, terrible special effects, two-dimensional comic-book heroes, dastardly villains and attractive women in sexy but impractical outfits. But where the titillation in a programme like Buck Rogers always ended with just a tantalising glimpse of cleavage or thigh, Beast in Space goes much further, punctuating its silly space fantasy action with bouts of porn, starting off soft-core, but eventually progressing to the harder stuff.The risible plot sees Vassili Karis as starship captain Larry Madison, who leads a mission to the remote planet Lorigon where there reputedly exists a sizable deposit of the rare element Antalium. Once on the planet, Madison and his crew (three of whom are sexy blonde women) explore a castle where they are welcomed by the planet's ruler Onaph (Claudio Undari), who takes a keen interest in the female crew-members, particularly the insatiable Lt. Sondra Richardson (Sirpa Lane).In the relaxing atmosphere of Onaph's castle, the crew begin to enjoy themselves, perhaps a little too much: after witnessing two horses mating in a stable, they begin to get fruity with each other and give in to their desires, participating in an orgiastic display of wanton carnal lust (phew!). Even Onaph joins in on the fun, revealing himself to be a well-endowed faun like creature and pursuing Sondra through the woods with the intent of getting busy. It's not long before the woods are alive with the sound of humping.However, all is not as it seems: In reality, Onaph is the physical manifestation of a powerful supercomputer named Zocor, which protects its Antalium supply by controlling the minds of anyone who should visit the planet. Luckily, roguish merchant Juan Cardoso (Venantino Venantini), who is also after the valuable mineral, is immune to Zocor's mind control thanks to special tablets that cancel out the computer's hypnotic effect; after dosing up Madison and his crew (who actually seem grateful to be released from their endless ecstasy), Juan joins forces with them to destroy Zocor and steal its Antalium.As a big fan of both garish disco-era sci-fi and exploitative Italian trash cinema, I found Beast in Space a rather enjoyable way to pass the time, the nutzoid script, naff set design, dreadful acting, gratuitous nookie, and blatant steals from Star Wars (check out the dreadful laser swords wielded by Zocor's golden robot guards) being just the sort of nonsense I look for in my Z-grade entertainment. Obviously, this kind of thing doesn't qualify for a ridiculously high rating, but I certainly had enough fun for it to warrant a 6/10.

Relatively young and uncontrollably horny space fleet commander Captain Larry Madison (Karis) takes a break from seducing bar-girls and getting into drunken fistfights with rivals to actually do his job i.e. a space mission.On the mission to an unknown world he particularly notices amongst his new crew is one Lt. Sondra Richardson (Sirpa Lane), (a woman who looks like Radha Mitchell with a hangover). He enjoyed a brief tryst with her after a bar pick-up and didn't call. Now things are awkward especially since they have to work together on a potentially dangerous mission.In real space missions, crews train together for years and form bonds of professional trust which limit the possibility of one of them running into a casual encounter and having to get past personal stuff that has no place on a mission. They are seldom captained by guys who get into drunken bar fights and use their status to pick up women or staffed with female crew who bed down with a potential crew-mate. But the crew seen here just meets and takes off together right after making introductions.The captain's unprofessional adventures in bars have not only caught up with him as it relates to his work colleague. No sooner are they off into the cosmos than a ship with some of the guys he beat up in a bar attack the vessel and damage it to the point where it has to go on a unscheduled emergency detour to an uncharted planet.On the planet they are hosted by a seemingly benevolent raconteur (Hundar) who treats them to a sumptuous dining experience after which they engage in frottage then full on coitus.Low-budget sci-fi from around the same time like the infamous Inseminoid (1981) are similarly hastily assembled malignant crossbreeds of the respective Star Trek and Alien franchises.You get the typical depiction of computerized instrumentation that the screen gave audiences of the time. Metallic boxes with lots of flashing lights and phony levers and gauges and instruments that look like they are doing something but are in fact just flashing on and off. The sets were less important than the acting.But the inexplicable pornographic tangent this particular title goes on, while not unexpected given the opening scenes, does start rather abruptly and without much subtlety or proper pacing by showing the crew watching a couple of horses having sex and then begin touching themselves. Quite frankly it was more than the tackiness of it all that made me feel slightly nauseous.I can only wonder if the actors knew they were going to be in a production with a pornographic tangent. The cast assembled here has people who were, in several notable cases, generally known for soft-core sex films even though this looks like, for the most part just typical b-movie sci-fi.

Wow. Thanks to Severin Films & Ryko Distribution, fans of schlock Italian B grade genre cinema can finally get to revel in the supreme awfulness that is Alfonso Brescia's BEAST IN SPACE, the "adults only" capstone on his Italian STAR WARS ripoff epics: BATTLE OF THE STARS, COSMOS - BATTLE OF THE PLANETS, WAR OF THE ROBOTS and last but not least STAR ODYSSEY. And while they aren't particularly "good" movies they have a certain special something about them that fans of this kind of junk will feed on like a fat guy at Wendy's.The premise behind the quintuplet of films is simple: Take the look of STAR WARS, cheapen it down to the production design standards of community theater, come up with four or five scripts that make provisions for recycling the same sets, costumes, props, actors, and special effects sequences (usually consisting of poorly made models being swung across a star field with odd sound effects), get Marcello Giombini to compose a couple hours of seemingly random yet listenable synthesizer music and audio washes, then edit the results together into segments of about 90 minutes, each with it's own title so that audiences know which installment they are watching. Presto.BEAST IN SPACE can be properly referred to as the porno one, and does indeed exist in both standard and full-blown XXX versions that literally does go where no man has gone before. Even FLESH GORDON looks sophisticated compared to this lovable mess which exists not so much to be "enjoyed" as to be marveled at. You sort of wonder what the heck they were thinking, as the film apparently has no specific intended audience: Since the emphasis often revolves around space couples having space sex in their space beds the film is removed from the kind of juvenile dreck that excused the other four films from the "series". You can't just plop the kids down in front of this and let the laser beams and disco space costumes wile away a rainy afternoon. But since the production design is so schlocky and minimalist, grown-ups used to a higher layer of gloss on their disco era science fiction craptaculars will find the results laughable at best.So that leaves us with the porn, which manages to be even less erotic than such contemporaneous Italian excesses as "Emanuelle in America" or everybody's favorite, PORNO HOLOCAUST, which were at least sick enough to engender a bad laugh every once in a while, and which are about the only things that BEAST IN SPACE can be accurately compared to. Other than it's namesake of course, Walerian Borowczyk's THE BEAST, which apparently was part of the inspiration for the film since we are likewise treated to extended sequences that feature horses copulating. Gee.Just how such a spectacle is worked into an ultra low budget Italian STAR WARS ripoff is just something you'll have to figure out for yourself -- I am more interested in the "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century" era disco space fashions, the clunky production design, the absolutely meaningless plotting and over-use of blended color schemes. These films exist as sort of visceral experiences to be witnessed rather than discreet stories to be digested, and if anything can be said about the new DVD versions is that they look spectacular. ALL of the Alfonso Brescia STAR WARS ripoffs deserve this kind of treatment, and it is perhaps a sad testament to the state of today's DVD industry that the only one some reputable company thought worthy of restoring to it's anamorphic glory is the one with the tits.If anything here is yet another culmination of the Italian B grade genre cinema years when they pulled out all the stops of pretending to be anything but sex films and went straight for the gutter. The results will be amusingly refreshing to any fan of European cult cinema, though the non initiated might want to think about trying these out as a rental first. Bring your own towel.4/10