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The Worst Film Ever

Captivating movie !

A film with more than the usual spoiler issues. Talking about it in any detail feels akin to handing you a gift-wrapped present and saying, "I hope you like it -- It's a thriller about a diabolical secret experiment."

While it is a pity that the story wasn't told with more visual finesse, this is trivial compared to our real-world problems. It takes a good movie to put that into perspective.

Rarely do you watch a movie with so many recognizable names that is this bad and by bad I mean every facet of this movie is bad. Tinny, grating, soundtrack, confusing plot (I'm being generous to call it a plot)ad-hoc script and ridiculously unbelievable characters. How Emilio Estevez who strolls through for a couple of scenes, Harry Dean Stanton who is only on camera for one scene and Dennis Leary ever became involved in this debacle is truly mind-boggling. In the case of Dennis Leary's character it's almost like they wedged his role in at the last minute for name recognition, as his role has nothing to do with the plot. His screen time is spent just delivering Dennis Leary stand-up type monologue. Pretty much all of his scenes sound ad-lib. Ditto with Jon Lovitz and Julie Delpy. Adding to the misery is an out of place acoustic number with Kari Wuhrer and Michael Vartan on guitar. We won't even get into the uncomfortably creepy relationship between Wuhrer and Norman Reedus who plays her surfer dude brother. How many siblings kiss each other on the mouth? It was like they were originally going to have the characters they play be former lovers then decided to go another direction without editing the film. The list of missteps goes on and on.My only regret is that I have to give this film one star as IMDb won't let me give it zero. A real stinker.

I thought the movie story wise had a conceivable plot. It was just executed poorly. I thought Norman Reedus did a great job with what he had but it wasn't much. The character development was bare little to none which didn't leave the actors with much to do. Michael Vartan was not a good lead for this movie. He was very wooden. Also with the little amount of character development it didn't leave you caring about any of the characters including Kari. I have thought about buying this movie so I could rewrite it and give more character development and depth. My favorite scene was actually the scene that involves Reedus and his friends confronting the two brothers after his sister is nearly raped. It was shot well and acted well. Beyond that, everything else was subpar. The movie just had so much potential and it was executed poorly.

****SPOILERS**** The Briggs family coming together for the first time in over 20 years to attend the funeral and have the will of the mother Marina, Kayle Martin, read is a very uneasy experience for Tyler, Michael Vartan. Having been abandoned by his father Gus, Marshall Bell, when he was an infant Tyler grew up only with his mother Marina and felt no real ties to Gus or his two step-brothers Barker & Hardy,Rodney Eastman & John Hawkes. Who were not only beer guzzling coke heads but also very ill-mannered and an embarrassment to him every time he was with them.Tyler also wasn't too fond of Gus's good friend and travel companion "Boston" Teddy, Denis Leary. Who's obsession with the Kennedy clan of Hyannis-Port MA. as well as John F. Kennedy's sexual exploits, in and out of the White House that even at times got to Gus. Marina left her son Tyler everything that she had but Tyler in a show of good faith only took the White 1972 Ford LTD and a photo album and left everything else, the house and $6,000.00, to his father Gus. Tyler then took off for the coast to where Marina was born and raised to get away from the "Family" and have some very needed peace and quite. Striking up a friendship with Jack, Norman Reedus, and his friends Max Andy & Trip, Bodhi Elfman Powers Simmons & Emilio Estevez, a bunch of local beach boys Tyler got to stay at the Higgins home on the beach as a handyman. It there that he met and fell in love with Jack's sister Sandy, Kari Wuhrer, who just came home for the summer from school.Life was good for Tyler with a sweet and loving girlfriend and new set of friends a job and a place to live until one morning "They" came to town, Gus Teddy Baker & Hardy, and everything went downhill after that. Drinking beer and hard booze as well as smoking pot and snorting coke the quartet, mostly Baker & Hardy, made life miserable not only for Tyler but everyone else in town. The brothers finding Sandy alone in the Higgins house, where Tyler was living in, tried to rape her only to be stopped by Gus & Teddy. When Sandy's brother Jack found out that those who tried to rape his sister were Tyler's step-brothers Baker & Hardy he and some of his friends went to the motel where they stayed with Gus & Teddy. Finding them drunk and stoned on coke Jack worked them over leaving them black and blue and out cold. This led to Baker and Hardy the next day attacking Jack who was alone on the beach and just when they were about to kill him they got the stuffings knocked out them by Jack's friend Trip with his homemade baseball bat.Planing to get even with Jack for what happened to them on the beach, for some reason they weren't interested or couldn't find Trip, Baker & Hardy kidnapped and tortured Jack's friend Max. Jack and his friend Andy tried to come to his rescue only to be kidnapped themselves by the brothers and forced to walk the plank on the pier by the Pacific Ocean. Jack & Andy turned the tables on the duo by fighting them off and having all four of them fall down into the water. Baker & Hardy being drunk and on drugs and also not knowing how to swim drowned. The brothers father angered at what happened to them goes out, against Teddy's advice, looking for Jack only to have Jack show up outside his motel room, with Sandy trying to stop him, and rubbed it in about what happened to Gus' sons! Which was really stupid as well as dangerous on Jack's part. Gus chasing both Jack and Sandy down to the beach and hitting Jack with a bullet from his gun in the leg is then finally tackled by Tyler who puts some sense into his head. Telling Gus that killing Jack won't bring Baker & Hardy back but only destroy his life as well. Interesting little movie that tries to make a point and does about life love hate revenge and finally acceptance. The film will never make the IMDb top 250 but at the same time "Sand" will never make the IMDb bottom 100 either.

It is an extreme challenge to find a sufficiently negative phrase to describe this movie. It is utterly boring, predictable, and without any interesting features whatsoever... no wait, that doesn't sound nearly negative enough. The plot isn't worthy of a newpaper cartoon strip, nothing much happens, the settings are uninteresting. You'd be better off sleeping or watching the clouds in the sky float by. The only provocative issue is the question it raises (for me) regarding why I let it remain on screen. No, wait, there's also the question regarding how anybody could make a film like this.