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Good story, Not enough for a whole film

I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.

Good films always raise compelling questions, whether the format is fiction or documentary fact.

This movie feels like it was made purely to piss off people who want good shows

1973's "Horror Hospital" is never as amusing as it would like to be, a script full of witty asides, just not enough incident and too much padding to kill an hour and a half. The great Michael Gough does get one of his rare starring roles (usually in low budget horror), as resident mad scientist Dr. Christian Storm, whose 'hospital' is located at a huge country estate guarded by motorcycling hoodlums, a former brothel madam, and a dwarf caretaker (Skip Martin), who effortlessly steals his scenes (watch out for the car that gets a head of yours!). Into this outré menagerie come Jason (Robin Askwith) and Judy (Vanessa Shaw), ostensibly for a holiday, which lasts approximately five seconds before they realize something strange is going on. One tends to wait patiently for the next amusing line as one attempted escape after another is predictably foiled; meanwhile, Gough's relatively restrained (for him) deadpan works wonders when he finally enters a half hour in, relishing his sexual power over his mindless, beautiful subjects. Director Antony Balch harkened back to Bela Lugosi and Angelo Rossitto in fashioning the scenario, particularly 1942's "The Corpse Vanishes." In his next-to-last role, genre veteran Dennis Price is reduced to playing a camp travel agent, appreciatively eyeing Jason's crotch, but does enjoy one priceless moment in a 'mirror mirror on the wall' routine. In what turned out to be her very last role, Vanessa Shaw is never less than appealing, but fades into the background halfway through. What really drags it down is the appalling Robin Askwith (coming off like a poor man's Nicky Henson), still a year away from his successful quartet of "Confessions" features, where a bevy of luscious Hammer starlets such as Linda Hayden assured their immortality by disrobing for the camera.

Although the majority of Robin Askwith's movies were bawdy British sex comedies, the cheeky chappy with the ability to charm any bird into bed briefly lent his talent to scary movies, one of which is this completely bonkers slice of high camp horror.Whilst not a great film in the classic sense, Horror Hospital still proves to be a hugely entertaining romp thanks to lots of knowingly cheesy performances, some delightfully bloody gore, a spot of nudity from the very lovely Vanessa Shaw, another likable performance from Askwith, and above all else, a real sense of fun.Askwith plays songwriter Jason, who, deciding that he needs a break to recharge his batteries, books a holiday at a country retreat run by the mysterious Dr. Storm (Michael Gough). On the train journey there, Jason meets Judy (Shaw), who is also going to the clinic to meet her Aunt Harris (Ellen Pollock), who just happens to be Dr. Storm's partner.Once at their destination, Jason and Judy soon discover that the wicked Dr. Storm has been operating on his guests, turning them into obedient 'zombies', and that he has the same planned for his newest arrivals!!!This one really lays on the clichés, what with its Gothic mansion setting, a creepy dwarf assistant, brutal zombie motorcycle goons, taps that run with blood, a horribly disfigured monster, and even a treacherous boggy woodland surrounding the resort, but that's what makes the film so entertaining: no-one involved is taking it seriously, and neither should the viewer. Pop open a few cans of beer before watching this and simply revel in its demented goodness.

Those who deprecate this film for its wooden acting, improbable plot, ridiculous dialogue, and dire special effects are missing the point. It's a romp. More tongue-in-cheek spoof of Hammer Horror than anything else, this openly silly flick is fabulously enjoyable. Just don't expect to be scared, because it's meant to be ludicrous. The scene of a dwarf (the superb Skip Martin) arranging a pair of drugged biker guards in order to use them as a stepladder is brilliantly funny, and evokes classic comedy from the era of Vaudeville. Laurel & Hardy, Bob Hope, and Abbot & Costello also appeared in tongue-in-cheek "scary" movies of a similar ilk, but this quintessentially British product throws in a cheerful dollop of seaside-postcard "Carry On" style foolishness with Robin Askwith from the "Confessions of ..." sex comedy series.Enjoy!

Elderly horror films starring Michael Gough as a dangerously insane butcher are always great fun, since the gore is so over-the-top and the story lines are so hilariously inept. Just look at "Horrors of the Black Museum" or "Satan's Slave", for example! It simply seems that casting Michael Gough inevitably results in a horror film that can't possibly be taken serious. "Horror Hospital" lifts up this theory to an even higher level of grotesquerie, as the plot is indescribably absurd, Gough's character is more demented than ever and the script is just filled with goofs, stupidities and illogicalness! Michael Gough is Doctor Christian Storm, supposedly a brilliant disciple of Pavlov once, but now a crippled lunatic who enjoys swooping off people's heads with his Rolls Royce (now there's one killing method you have to see in order to believe!). Although he's not very good at it, Storm attempts to control and master human feelings of sexuality so he performs brain-operations on youngsters and keeps their zombified leftovers locked away in his rural castle. You can't really be too harsh on this film, since writer/directed Antony Balch clearly opted for a light-headed and comical tone. Cliché after cliché is unscrupulously presented while the violence (although plenty of it) is never shocking or disturbing. Not once during the whole film I really understood what exactly Storm is trying to achieve with his operations (my best guess is that he wants to copulate with the female patients after disfiguring their brains), but I gladly witnessed how he cut open their heads and served the brains on a plate for them to see! The castle (referred to in the movie as a "health-farm") is a great horror setting and there are a couple of very ingenious gimmicks. The most fun definitely is to track down all the things in "Horror Hospital" that don't make the slightest bit of sense: the machete attached to the car can't possibly reach someone's head (unless they were all midgets like Skip Martin) and Storm's biker-henchmen just seem to keep on coming, like they're appearing out of nowhere. This movie is one of those exquisite British horror oddities released during the early 70's; too silly to be produced by Hammer but way too much fun to forget about them entirely. Watch it when you can!