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Wonderful Movie

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

Blistering performances.

You don't cast a bland-looking nepotistic bore in the midst of a mostly heavyweight cast, regardless of whether you're making a Disney comedy or tortureporn. Desi Arnaz? He looks like he should be in "The Brady Bunch" or part of the Osmonds, singing some happy-flappy tune.The premise is just too stupid for words: a writer, Desi - doubtlessly a buffoonish writer (perhaps a parody of Stephen King?) - bets his publisher he can write a NOVEL on par with "Wuthering Heights" in 24 hours. Now, I'm no mathematics genius, but he'd have to type at lightning speed without no 1, eating or no 2 just to write ANYTHING the size of a novel (for example "all work and no play makes Desi a dull clown"), let alone a finished manuscript that would compare to a classic, overrated or not. This fact alone should have given Desi's boss enough confidence to win the bet without resorting to sabotage; I mean, who wouldn't win that bet? It'd be like someone betting you they can eat the Eiffel Tower in a week. Would you sabotage them?Dumber still, his boss concocts that plan - spontaneously(!) - how to screw over Desi, in what turns out to be more elaborate than an Oliver Stone conspiracy or that absurd Fincher flick, "The Game". Just how his boss managed to get the whole thing organized in a few hours, in what took on the shape of a major theatrical play almost, that's naturally never explained. Nor is it clear how openly CHEATING in a bet wins the bet. But then again, his boss does lose the bet in the prologue, after the whole charade: huh?The setting is nice, there's plenty of corny thunder every 5 minutes, and even the female cast is mostly not unattractive (a gift not to be taken for granted in a UK film), but the whole thing just wasn't funny (giving Desi all the shoddy one-liners just makes the dialog even worse), and the twist was quite predictable - simply because this is billed as a comedy. Kinda like putting 2 and 2 together.No, just because it's a "comedy" doesn't justify the sheer absurdity. Nor is it acceptable that the director LIES to the audience; for example, the scene in which the sexy brunette pours acid on herself. She was clearly playing for the camera, not for Desi, his intended "victim". That's rubbish writing, dumb logic. Characters aren't supposed to know they're being watched by an audience - otherwise they might start doubting their own existence, might start feeling a little like Keanu in "The Matrix" (IF that film had been intelligently written).Desi even hits on the blonde in the last scene, despite finding out she's married and meeting her husband - and the floozy actually hints she's up for an affair! Perhaps this dumb film was written by a swinger with a poor sense of humour.

Mystery, gore and humor mix as a young writer Kenneth Magee (Desi Arnez Jr.), takes a bet from his publisher Sam Allyson (Richard Todd) that he can write a novel in twenty-fours. To make this assignment difficult, Magee has to stay in a spooky mansion believed to be empty. The property is not vacant; four odd inhabitants (played by horror icons Vincent Price, Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing and John Carradine) will be joined with others to distract the gullible author.What all will have to be endured for the writer to succeed in winning his bet? Will the payoff be worth it? Don't expect award-winning acting. Atmospheric and a hoot for horror fans.Other players: Sheila Keith, Richard Hunter, Louise Englsh and Julie Peasgood.

Desi Arnaz Jr. plays Kenneth Magee, an American writer who makes a best with his publisher, Sam Allyson (Richard Todd). His ego is great enough that he thinks that he can write something on the level of "Wuthering Heights" (which he doesn't hold in high regard) in 24 hours. At stake is $20,000 of his money. So Sam procures for him a Welsh manor named Baldpate where Kenneth can supposedly write in seclusion. Of course, nothing goes as planned, and Kenneth is interrupted all night long by a family looking to exorcise their old demons and a man looking to purchase the manor.This effort by the cult filmmaker Pete Walker ("Frightmare", "House of Whipcord") is notable mostly for uniting four legendary horror actors: John Carradine, Vincent Price, Peter Cushing, and Christopher Lee. "House of the Long Shadows" is a must see for their work, if nothing else. Walker and this fine cast does seem to have fun with the material, which was meant to be played with a sense of humour. Certainly some of the tropes of the genre are present and accounted for: the dark, stormy night, the locked room, the old family secret, etc. What this viewer appreciated most about the film was the old school atmosphere of a classic "Old Dark House" type of story, and for the fact that Walker and screenwriter Michael Armstrong so completely manipulate their audience.While this viewer didn't dislike Arnaz Jr. as much as most people who've seen this, the less that is said about his performance is still probably better. But don't see it for him. See it for Price (who rattles off the exposition in style), Lee, Carradine, Cushing (whose comic performance is simply wonderful), and Walker regular Sheila Keith (who plays Carradines' daughter).Good fun for fans of the genre.Seven out of 10.

An arrogant, American writer bets 20,000 dollars that he can write a classic novel like "Wuthering Heights" at a remote Welsh manor in 24 hours. He is apprised the place has been abandoned for years, but he discovers there are plenty of peculiar people staying there, including a woman named Mary Norton that he becomes very attracted too, but not necessarily trust. The people start popping up dead one by one. Think the movie "Clue" if you decide to watch this movie, only with virtually no suspense. The manor is a perfect place for this movie. It adds creepy atmosphere in spades, but they fail to deliver on it in a big way. For the first hour or so, it's nothing but "Talk, talk, talk, talk" Nothing much happens at all. We get plenty of meandering around the house, people show up here and there. But there is no excitement to be found. It does eventually start to get a little more interesting, but it was too little, too late for me. The choked on a great opportunity with an all star cast, despite most of them being in their twilight years. Desi Arnaz Jr. is completely miscast. His smug character irritated me to no end. This guy doesn't react to ANYTHING. People are getting killed all around you, REACT! He's an emotionless robot for the most part. He can't act worth a lick, and I have no idea why they casted him in this part. He was far too arrogant and talentless. He is the main reason, aside from the dullness that I didn't like this movie. Peter Cushing looks somewhat gaunt, but delivers a fun performance. it was nice to see him play a paranoid character, unlike the subtly strong willed characters I usually see him play. Vincent Price does one of his patented Shakespearean performances, and I loved it as usual. How can you not love Vincent Price? He's epic. Christopher Lee is dependable as always with another menacing character. John Carradin doesn't have much to do, but he does it well. Julie Peasgood has a sexy British accent. She was easy on the eyes, if nothing else. The finale throws in many twists and turns, but it got so convoluted, not to mention I was past the point of caring. It got way too clever for my liking. Final Thoughts: Leave this one in obscurity where it belongs. You can do a lot worse, but you can do much better as well. Resist the temptation from the amazing cast4.6/10