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Touches You

Good story, Not enough for a whole film

I am only giving this movie a 1 for the great cast, though I can't imagine what any of them were thinking. This movie was horrible

Very good movie overall, highly recommended. Most of the negative reviews don't have any merit and are all pollitically based. Give this movie a chance at least, and it might give you a different perspective.

This movie is not for every taste...but if you're a fan of Firesign Theatre and Mystery Science Theatre...this may be right up your alley. It has some of the most brilliant puns and plays-on-words ever assembled. It can be compared to Woody Allen's "What's Up Tiger Lily?" The difference is "J-Men" was crafted from a number of scenes from different '40's era serials and tied together with several contemporary scenes shot in period looking b/w. I've found 2 reactions to this film. People either love it..or they don't get it. There is so much broad humor in this one...you might miss some of the sly subtle lines..of which there are a ton. It's a hard one to find...but well worth the search (if you're one of those that love it). There's another film called "Hot Shorts" which Proctor & Bergman made utilizing most of the same clips but with different story lines that I believe predates "J-Men". It is also worth seeing...but "J-Men" is the funnier one for my money.

I first saw this when broadcast on USA Network's "Night Flight" program in the early 1980's. I was so struck by it at that time that I wrote a letter to the USA Network trying to find out how to procure a copy. They never answered. I recently discovered it for sale and although my humor has changed a bit in the last 20 years and I had forgotten most of it, it is still a riot and I am glad to have it in my DVD collection. The idea of stringing together various black and white footage and changing the dialogue is great. This was all done with analog equipment obviously, but it would be a great project to do now with the digital stuff. Some folks, whose humor would run counter to this, would be put off by it but if you like something funny and different, this is really unique.

To say this movie is a laugh-riot is an understatement. Phil Proctor and Peter Bergman of Firesign Theater fame re-cut many of the Saturday afternoon movie serials and government propaganda films from the 1940's and 50's such as Captain America (The Lone Star), Radar Men from the Moon (Rocket Jock - look for Leonard Nimoy), Flash Gordon, Shazzam (The Caped Madman), and Spy Smasher (Spy-Swatter) to name a few (plus a very short clip of John Wayne from Flying Tigers) and re-voiced, and re-scored it all creating a uniquely absurd chronicle of Good vs. Evil.During the course the film Proctor and Bergman, shot in black and white in the J-Men's office, bridge the various scenes. The result is without hyperbole, one of the funniest films ever made. It is essentially, line after line, line within line, moment by moment non-stop hilarity. Often the comedy is in the writing but the real magic is how the lines being spoken or in some cases not spoken are meshed with what's on screen. The humor can be as sophmoric as a person being apparently executed by a firing squad and noisily farting as he collapses to sharp and witty as several obviously square, stone-faced individuals (in matching suits) nervously glancing at each other as they listen to a particularly lurid Rock n' Roll song.This is the story: The Lightning Bug (all the bad guys from the movie serials-same guy, different costumes voiced wonderfully by Machine Gun Kelly) has decided to conquer the Earth from his hideout on the Moon thru the insidious power of Rock n' Roll music. Facing the Bug are the J-Men (all the good guys and gals from the movie serials plus Proctor and Bergman) who counter the evil Rock n' Roll menace with their own brand of government sponsored MUSAC such as "Mister Prissy-Faye & His Orchestra." The Bug initiates the war by blowing up Laurence Milk's warehouse full of square records in Polkawaltz, New Jersey. As the story progresses and the war escalates, the Bug introduces drugs (Marijuana and Hashish) into the fray thus bringing the J-Men to ultimately counter with all out war and destruction. The Lightning Bug responds by turning up the music to unsafe levels which results in the destruction the Moon and himself. The J-Men, most of whom were apparently killed in cliffhangar-like fashions throughout the course of the movie, are discovered to actually be alive. With the war won, Proctor and Bergman of the J-Men decide to "Go with it!" and share a joint.This is one of those films where just watching it once will not be enough. There are so many jokes, quips, and asides thrown in one after another, and you will be laughing at it all so hard, you will miss some of them until you view it again...and later again.

Anyone who is familiar with the old serials would be familiar with the characters used in this film. Commando Cody becomes Bullethead. Captain America is known as lone star. Captain Marvel and other heroes also appear. I highly recommend it to anyone who likes odd humor.