Watch Diary of a Cannibal For Free

Absolutely the worst movie.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

Worth seeing just to witness how winsome it is.

Oh Ulli, why do I still act like a cinematic masochist by continuing to watch your unwatchable 'based on a true story' (albiet EXTREMELY loosely) waste of celluloid. Perhaps I've answered my own question. I AM a masochist, either that or the last true blooded optimist. Perhaps this one will be better. Maybe i won't long for the sweet embrace of death to keep me from viewing until the movie's end. Alas no. No such luck. i had to suffer through this spectacularly awful movie. Atrociously acted, shot worse than a student film. Unentertaining even in it's insipidness. DO NOT watch. DO NOT even let the idea enter your head.

Story Synopsis: Dying in hospital of injuries suffered in a prison bashing, a young woman convicted of cannibalism is forcibly interrogated by a pair of detectives. She reveals to them how she met her boyfriend (who was secretly suicidal) on the Internet, the pair taking a cross-country trip where they arrive at a storage facility. There he tells her to kill him & eat his organs as an act of love.Film Analysis: Diary of a Cannibal is another of the cheap genre films made by Ulli Lommel. Lommel is a former German New Wave legend who had made the art-house hit Tenderness of the Wolves, based on the true story of a German gay serial killer, before abandoning that career after moving to the USA. Since then he has made several cheap films, mostly about serial killers (although there was one exception - a brainless film about a robot helicopter with mind control powers!).Diary of a Cannibal was one of the films Lommel made as part of his "Hollywood House of Horror" filmmaking group, one of a staggering number of serial-killer themed films (17 in less than half a decade!) made in such a short time. Like most of them, Lommel takes a true story & turns it into an abstract film. I say abstract because Lommel is not a filmmaker who makes straightforward films. Instead he repeats the same scenario over & over again with little variation, using all sorts of tricks to demonstrate his visual style.This is the fourth film Lommel film I have reviewed so far. The quality of his films has been see-sawing between bad & mediocre. This is one of his better ones, although still not good enough to be viewed more than once. Lommel, for a change, manages to take a fairly simple story & tell it in a (relatively) cohesive fashion. The subject matter is pretty grim - a young woman kills her lover & eats his flesh on his orders as the ultimate act of love - but it strangely makes you wonder how far someone will go for love. Lommel milks the concept for all the impact he can get. The ending, with the girl dying after telling her story, leaving the two detectives walking away arguing about whether she was right in doing so, will get under your skin.The acting is passable - Lommel gets some of his regular cast doing their thing with a modest efficiency. Jillian Swanson makes a strangely sympathetic heroine despite the deeds she performs in the film.

The only interesting part of this movie was the true story which inspired it, however, even that is lost in a never ending parade of cuts, fades and pointless scenes. There are certain unspoken rules about the appropriate number of scenes, the repeated use of single scenes and timing that Ulli Lommel (Director) either doesn't understand or chooses (unfortunately) not to obey. The characters are whisper thin, and the story almost absent. Top this off with ultra low budget digital film quality, poor acting and a hollow cliché of a soundtrack. Unless you really just enjoy bad films, there is no reason whatsoever for me to recommend this to you. This movie, like Lollels other work, is a waste of time, money and space.

I got this movie from the $1 section at my local video rental store. I'm sorry that I even spent that much on this movie. I actually turned the movie right off after about 20 minutes...and I've never done that with ANY other movie. It seriously looks like some man just took his home video camera and filmed two kids staring at each other in a van and then every once in a while threw in a clip of a shiny knife with blood. Oh my! I almost WANT people to watch this movie...just to seriously see how horrible it is. It's almost comical. But I wouldn't do it, that's about an hour and a half of your life you'll never get back.