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Yawn. Poorly Filmed Snooze Fest.

A Disappointing Continuation

It's entirely possible that sending the audience out feeling lousy was intentional

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

Make no mistake though, WELCOME TO SPRING BREAK (the titling I saw on a decrepit old home video tape) is a trashy 80s slasher with all the good/bad things that implies. It's just that when I watch big hair 80s teen horror flicks I expect to see some breasts. Not one, unless the version I saw was edited of the most prime element of this kind of exploitation entertainment.It's a decent little slasher, though the killer prefers electrifying his victims on some sort of arc feed connected to his motorcycle. And my hero John Saxon actually gets to play a nasty, vicious dirtbag of a bad guy cop without an unlooked for heroic bone in his body. Usually he's the calm professional law enforcement official in these things (BLOOD BEACH) and it was nice to see him chew the scenery.The killings are all appropriately gory and like Umberto Lenzi's giallo creations the murderer has a back story that goes beyond the obvious "back for revenge" plotting. There's also a glossy sheen to the production that will please those who tire of the standard drab slasher horror look. This is a movie filled with nightclubs, rock bands, spandexed bimbos, square jawed heroes with feathered hair, and everyone dresses like they just walked out of a Stryper video.No screwing around in the woods, though for a film supposedly set during spring break there wasn't one pair of bared, drunken tits in the whole shebang. Lots of fetishized leatherwear though, if you're into that sort of thing. The plot is also appropriately convoluted with a good guessing game as to who the killer really is until the last possible moment. Entertaining junk and better made than usual.5/10

Welcome to Spring Break (1988) * (out of 4) Notorious Italian director Umberto Lenzi traveled to America to make this slasher film, which is one of the worst out there. A biker gets sent to the electric chair but he swears he was framed by a local cop (John Saxon). The biker screams he will return for vengeance and after his death it just happens to be spring break. Soon a maniac on a motorcycle starts electrocuting kids to death. Has the biker returned from the dead? Who cares? Lenzi wasn't the only Italian director to travel to America to try and cash in on the slasher craze. Both this and Ruggero Deodato's Body Count are among the worst of the slasher period because it seems neither director knew what made this films so special. Both directors, known for their violence and gore, took all of that out of their films and we're left with boring movies without anything going for them. The murders here are all poorly done and the characters are obnoxious and it's impossible to care for them. The mystery surrounding the killer isn't of any interests either. Both Saxon and Michael Parks are wasted in their worthless roles.

The leader of the biker gang "The Demons" is convicted for murder and is electrocuted in the electric chair. Before he dies, he yells that he'll take revenge on the town. But the beach community main focus for now is the truck load of college students making their way there for "Spring break". Although, things turn bad when the biker's body is now missing from its grave and a serial killer biker has hit the scene and is killing teenagers. This leaves a depressingly good-guy collage football player and a barmaid to figure out who's behind the killings, while the authorities try to cover it up so it doesn't spoil business.SPRING BREAK! Time to riot and be completely idiotic! When watching this, I was thinking that I was going to get mostly a slasher film, but Umberto Lenzi (who's going by Harry Kirkpatrick for the occasion) seemed more occupied with the pointlessly low-brow partying. I thought this aspect would be more in the background, but instead it came to the forefront. This costs the mystery element of the story with Porky's-Revenge of the Nerds II antics winning out.This low-budget, b-grade effort is pretty much a loudly obnoxious copy and paste slasher/goofball item that recycles the usual stereotypes, clichés and red herrings with less than desirable results. These tools are laid on thick… very thick. This goes for the token characters, which the camera seems to follow about. You got the thief, prankster, misguided girl conning older men out of their doe, loud-mouth lout, peeping tom, sex-crazed dope, mopey football player, trouble makers (bikers here), Rev.'s skank daughter and the list just goes on… and on. Random characters simply come and go in a stereotypical mish mash. I don't mind this, if it didn't uninterestingly drag, which I found it to do. These certain aspects and gimmicks involving these different characters do get tired, like the thief constantly stealing money and everyone believing the prankster's gags. In no time you're thinking how can they keep on falling for it? Everything about this side of the story was so heavy handed, predictable and one-dimensional in its build-up that when it came to "who-dunnit" slasher development it just falls flat on its back.The cardboard premise is chocker block with possibilities as it goes all over the place in what it wants to be and a tepidly dismal script offers very little help. The red herrings are poorly justified and unbelievable that you can see who it is miles before it's even revealed and there are coincidences' too many. Lenzi's statically lazy direction can hardly raise an ounce of sweat with weak attempts of suspense, but there are few effective touches amongst the dross and his pacing is quite stable. Make-up special effects are tolerable enough, but the gore is pretty much missing, as most of the violence involves victims being burnt to a crisp after being electrocuted by the killer/or bike. Yep, bike! They are quite original, but still these buzzing jolts are weakly handled and simply risible in the execution of the deaths. Most of the time he just happens to be there, just like many of the other characters. So there's a high suspension of disbelief needed. The smashingly uproarious rock score by Claidio Simonetti sticks in many heavy metal cues with plenty of impact and with the guidance of some striking cinematography works its way in.The acting throughout is mainly poor. Gladly the capable presence of John Saxon shines through. His snarlingly hard-ass and slimly performance as the police chief adds much needed class to the rest of the fumbling performances. Michael Parks is features briefly in an amusing alcoholically twitchy doctor/coroner and Lance LeGault scornfully chews up the scenery as the priest. Nicolas De Toth makes for a sluggishly vapid heroine and the foxy Sarah Buxton's fine performance adds the much need sparks in their pairing."Welcome to Spring Break" is averagely plain, which in the final product I didn't find to be as fun as it could have been. More mindless fodder to an overpopulated trend.

Over-aged "Spring Breakers" are being terrorized by a biker who enjoys electrocuting his victims. The "acting" is atrocious! The hair is big! The music stinks! The heroine/bartender is puffy-faced & stiff. Lots of loose ends. What became of the sun-dried "breaker" (who looked about 45!) who was stealing everyone's money, the Reverend's slut daughter, & the redneck cop dragged off by a motorcycle? Did I miss something? Not very scary (a few fried corpses) & not much fun. (Spring Break films worth checking out, minus the "horror": "Where The Boys Are", "Where The Boys Are '84", "Girl Happy", "Revenge of The Nerds II:Nerds In Paradise").