Watch Shark Exorcist For Free

Very very predictable, including the post credit scene !!!

One of my all time favorites.

Just what I expected

It really made me laugh, but for some moments I was tearing up because I could relate so much.

I know, a 3/10 for this abomination of a movie? Well if I was actually watching it as though this were the Avengers or La La Land for those who aren't into MARVEL movies then this movie would be about a -5, my wife and I have a thing we do when we're caught up on watching all of our shows. We look for obscure movies to bust on; like Mystery Science Theater 3000 only without the puppets and an occasional beer. So I had to rate it based on our ability to find material to make the movie giggle worthy.The movie actually does start out promising with a seriously pissed off nun who calls out to Satan to do his worst and makes a blood sacrifice to seal the deal. I had a field day with the nun while my wife had a ball with the idea that the worst thing Satan could come up with was to create (I'm guessing create) a shark or maybe the nun was given the gift of transforming into a shark to terriorize the tens of people in a lake, in a sleepy town.It continued to move on with the three (lead?) actresses who were off to that lake to do some sunbathing. Each had their character flaws which we proceeded to use to our comedic advantage.And then there was the chick with the camera man who was doing some kind of show about paranormal activity where neither of us were sure if she was supposed to be legit or a fraud but we worked with it as best we could.The priest was also comedic gold because he played his role much like the priest in 'The Exorcist', except rather badly.But then there were some things that you we simply sat and simply had nothing or were asking legitimate questions like: "What are these (different) girls doing chanting in the woods with one girl have coniptions because she's dreaming about some crazy chick in the past and what does any of this have to do with the Jaws jr?" or What is the relevance of a scene where this chick with a body builders physique has managed to fall alseep in like 10 seconds so that some pervert with a smart phone is able to tape her sleeping for easily five minutes then manages to leave just as she's stirring from her slumber?Those questions were too numerous to count as was the complete lack of cohesion within each scene, but by then, just like a rubbernecker needing to see the carnage created by a car accident, we had to finish watching this thing and just as I thought we were had made our penance the minute the one girl from the main plot turns into a shark and eats her girlfriend (who pretty much deserved it since she really didn't like her friend and was muscling in on a guy sharkgirl liked), and the ending credits start, but my wife was too slow to turn off the tv and we now were watching the near ten minute segment in the middle of the closing credits where this girl is in a mall (I think) and starts playing with the stuffed sharks in the shop. No one stops here from doing this. No one even checks to see if she took her meds as she then starts fondling a giant fish tank in the center of this mall. I really had no words for this and my wife would probably have rated this a 4/10 because of the field day she had watching me watching this.This really was a bad, bad movie but if you can watch if for free and are a glutton for punishment, and are up for the challenge of making this movie entertaining then perhaps you should give it a try. However, if you aren't a masichist then please don't put yourself through this mess.

Shark Exorcist is by far one of the most baffling "movies" I've ever seen. In terms of film making, editing, and technical work, this is probably the laziest film I've ever seen. It is completely laughable how little effort there is in the movie for the effects, which basically amounts to some ketchup, a fake knife, a nun costume that was probably bought from a bargain bin, Photoshop, a free audio library, and stock effects that were probably taken from some workshop, and coloured a different way so you would never know the difference, but again looks completely awful. The same goes for the camera work, which is probably the most distractedly lazy I've seen (besides The Amazing Bulk). There is one half-decent shot in the movie (where the priest is exiting the church: the movie is so forgettable that I can't even remember half of it, so I don't remember what time it was at, what the reason was, etc.), but the rest is hand-held shaky cam that half the time isn't trying to be shaky cam, but trying to be still, but they were so cheap during filming that they couldn't invest in a f***ing tripod, or even try to rest it on a table, or a barrel, or anything. Instead, it just looks like the camera man is having a f***ing seizure the whole time. The camera is filmed in a way similar to my s****y skit videos on YouTube where me and my cousins d**k around, say random s**t that means nothing, and generally just be idiots throughout, and while there is no excuse for s****y filming, it's one thing to use an iPad to film idiocy on the internet, it's another thing to make an actual movie that you can find and buy with money that can honestly be spent much better. When someone can say that they've filmed better movies or videos over the course of an afternoon with their cousins that they put no thought into, that is when you've failed as a filmmaker. In fact, it's amazing how similar they are to my videos. The difference is that we had comedy in mind, and we had fun making these stupid videos on that clearly shows throughout, and we aren't hurting anyone's wallet. This just feels like a group of friends got really s***faced at a party, and one of them had a camera and said, "Hey, let's make a movie," and they only went along with it because he gave them each $20 and they were drunk, and the guy with the camera wanted to make a movie with a bunch of bikini girls because reasons. The story is that there is no story. It starts with a random girl being killed by a nun (who contradicts the fact that she's a nun by sacrificing the girl to Satan) and feeding her soul to a shark, I guess, and the shark kills some people, one of them gets possessed, and a terrible exorcism occurs, etc. There is one scene that sticks out among the rest, however, and that's when some woman acts as a...child? A mentally unwell person? I don't know, but she's at a playground playing with a shark doll and a barbie, and goes up a play structure and walks down the slide. Then one of the bikini girls from earlier comes over and talks to her in a strange manner (then again, the dialogue throughout is so terrible that the child actors in The Christmas Tree put the acting in this abomination to shame) that suggests...seduction, I think? Then, they're at a pool, and they start swimming in a way that's shot like a goddamned p0rno, down to the looking seductively at the camera. Then the bikini girl dives down, the mentally unstable woman looks around, and then it turns out it was all a dream of the bikini girl.Trying to explain the "plot" is amazingly hard because it, again comparing to my videos, is an "..and then," type of movie. On top of that, there is no structure, no characters (there are people, but watch the movie, and tell me the personality of bikini girl #6. That's right, there is none, so they aren't really characters, they are just people doing stuff in front of a camera for what feels like 6 hours), no sense, and no point. Even for a Z-level monster movie parody film, it is f***ing lazy. It's also uncomfortable to watch due to the amount of times that it starts to feel like a f***ing p0rno.Speaking of acting, there is none. It is so badly transparent that I've seen cringe compilations that had me groaning less than this. The line delivery is more wooden than the guy from Birdemic, and that's really something I never thought I would say. The guy from Birdemic was at least entertainingly bad to watch, but this just hurts. There is only one thing I can praise, and it's a backhanded praise if anything: the complete and total lack of a moral message from the "story" (unless it's "make s**t films with no effort," but that's inferred from the audience, not what the director intended from the story). The moral message makes films either so much better or so much worse, depending on the delivery to me, and that's the reason Garbage Pail Kids is still worse to me, because the message in that movie (that's supposed to be directed towards kids) is "Be a terrible, awful, ugly person, and you'll be better for that." Without a message, Shark Exorcist at least doesn't try to teach anything to anyone other than that anyone can make a movie, but that means some seriously bad s**t'll get made.

I was not expecting much from this. The title says it all. I did hope it would contain some humour or charm though. It fails on those counts and it fails as a movie too.The plot would struggle to fill up ten minutes of screen time if the director had not put in a lot of long lingering shots. I accept that a lot of men like looking at a woman in a bikini but that scene seemed to go on for an hour. The CGI shark is poorly done and as the budget did not allow it to interact with any character it just never did feel like a threat.The acting was poor in places and over-dramatic. The music was often distracting and spoiled at least one scene. Certain scenes seemed to have no relevance to the plot (such as it was) too. If you are a fan of bad movies then go ahead and watch this. You will probably be disappointed. I know I was.

So OK if you like shark films then this film will be a film you might like. It is just like it has been filmed at home and some of the scenes are just silly and so unrealistic. It is almost so bad it is funny and more like a comedy then a film. The shark is also so bad it's funny you don't see the shark attack anyone it just cuts to the shark then to the person who is covered in very bad fake blood it looks like tomato sauce. The acting I thought was bad as well and again like they were acting out a school play and not a movie will not be watching this film again. It is a bit like a really rubbish jaws meets final destination so yes I would not see this film again