Watch Witchcraft 13: Blood of the Chosen For Free

Wow! Such a good movie.

ridiculous rating

Let's be realistic.

It is not deep, but it is fun to watch. It does have a bit more of an edge to it than other similar films.

WITCHCRAFT 13: BLOOD OF THE CHOSEN is a film so poor that it bears no relation to the rest of the WITCHCRAFT series, a film series in itself known for being very bad indeed. This one's cheaper than ever, not even above the level of a typical indie flick, and has virtually no plot to speak of. The wooden lead character finds himself involved in a black magic plot, but the horror content is virtually nil and instead the running time is padded out with surprisingly tame sex scenes. A flabby pacing adds to the general all-round poor quality feel.

Successful nice guy lawyer and warlock Will Spanner (a solid and engaging performance by Tim Wrobel) investigates a series of gruesome ritualistic killings while struggling with his own dark past. Director Mel House, working from a straightforward script by Michael and Jeffrey Wolinski, relates the fun story at a steady pace, maintains a generally serious tone throughout, delivers a pleasing amount of delicious female nudity and sizzling soft-core sex, and tops everything off with a nice smattering of grisly gore (various guys have their hearts ripped out and eaten). The earnest acting from a game no-name cast constitutes as another plus: Steven Scott contributes a neat turn as helpful occult expert Eldridge while Lynn Michaels and Richard Flood do sturdy work as the two cops on the murder case. Moreover, a hot and sexy bevy of lovely ladies ensure that this pictures remains watchable from start to finish: lovely Jennifer Lafleur as desperate and attractive client Dolores, buxom redhead Zoe Hunter as the enticing, but dangerous Skylar, tasty blonde Roxy Vandiver as the slinky'n'seductive Keely, the gorgeous Anjanette Clewis as the lethal and wicked Leandra, and the fetching Falin Proffitt as eager and smitten intern Laura. The rinky-dink (not so) special effects possess a certain endearing tacky charm (the CGI stuff in particular is amusingly crummy). Robert Ybarra's shuddery score does the quivery rocking trick. William Leonardo Molina's cinematography is pretty plain, but overall acceptable. An enjoyable piece of junk.

It's still a turd.This movie can not be compared to anything Mr. Von Trier has done. Mel House is not a brilliant filmmaker that hits every beat with a press of a button on the camera.The story surrounding Witchcraft 13 is completely uninteresting and boring. Some witches are killing some pointless guys to try to find/get to Will Spanner because he is important in some way. That's all there is to the story. And the twist at the end is just plain stupid. The movie is so bad no one cares that they are brother and sister, to be honest, the movie should have been about him finding out that and then struggling to be with her or not.This is another movie that incorporates unnecessary characters. The two detectives can be taken out and the movie would still be just as bad. And the witches could have been cut down to two at max.The acting is well below bad. Poorly delivered lines and unbelievable performances (in the bad way, not good) are a huge distraction and provide more laughable moments rather than serious intense moments. Even the sex scene was a one camera set up that makes a porno look like Citizen Kane.The special effects in the movie are awful too. The lightning bolts and fire balls look like they came from an early 90's fighting show.All in all, this is one of those flicks that you sit back on wonder, "why did someone make this movie?"

Like a low-fi horror version of Lar's Von Trier's "The Five Obstructions", director Mel House and his game cast manage to shine the large turd that is the long-running Witchcraft series to a golden gleam, while staying within the narrow confines of the tropes set forth by previous entries.While the script stays bogged down in the deep wagon-ruts of its predecessors (boobs, blood, and a pentagram or two for good measure), the energy shown in the visuals and performances (some obviously created in the editing room) raise it above standard direct-to-DVD grand guginol fare.Cast standouts include Tim Wrobel as warlock with a heart of gold and libido of indiscriminate taste, Will Spanner and Zoe Hunter as the "witch who keeps her clothes on". Wrobel manages to get across Spanner's world-weariness even as he beds every witch in sight while Zoe displays deft comedic skill in a brief sequence where she receives "help" from a good Samaritan on a lonely Texas road. I suppose that Roxy Vandiver's athletic performance in one of the most methodical and varied sex scenes ever filmed deserves some mention, though it is hard to watch without hearing the less-than-subtle sound of jackhammers in the back of your mind.Moving into the director's chair after handling DP duties on the Wolinski brother's previous effort, Mel House shows a flair for interesting camera work and a sense of pacing critical to genre films. Though sometimes falling short of the mark, his use of effects, both digital and practical, greatly enhance the look and feel of the picture. If he overreaches on occasion, it's only because his vision outpaces his budget (and sometimes his actors).I've heard that his next project will be a completely original film and I'm looking forward to seeing what he'll do with a bigger budget and a greater degree of control.A nice film to watch while devouring the heart of your loved one.