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As Good As It Gets

Not sure how, but this is easily one of the best movies all summer. Multiple levels of funny, never takes itself seriously, super colorful, and creative.

This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

I thought that the basic premise for Totem was pretty good. Six teenagers find themselves at a cabin. Three will kill. Three will die. Granted, they told the whole plot rather than showed it, but come on. This flick is all about camp. A little bit of gore, a little bit of humor, some silly monsters and a really out of place dream sequence (no shower scene?) I was even lucky enough to get another cheesy B movie on the same disc. Not a bad deal for a night of popcorn and a few tongue-in-cheek laughs.

I must agree with everyone else. I too was at a local Blockbuster inAllston/Brighton (for those of you from the Boston area; it's the onethat's now falling apart on Western Ave not the nice one in ClevelandCircle) and I came across one of the many straight-to-video movies theyhad. This one caught my eye because of the intruiging title. Totem. Mustbe about Native Americans getting back what's theirs! Plus the cutechick on the cover is a nice touch. I watched it and it almost made mepuke. How very, very sad that this was made! "Those poor actors willnever make a decent movie ever in their young careers," I thought. Howdid those teens even get to that cabin? The last girl that got theresaid she was in class about to take a test or something. Why didn'tanyone stop her as she left class... or ran down the street... andacross the highway??? You'd think somebody would have grabbed them andsaid, "I'm not letting you go until you tell me why you are running tosome cabin in the woods in your underwear, Mister!" Why THESE teens?ALAS, that will never get answered. Go see a nice non-straight-to-

I knew I was in trouble, when the production company for this movie showed absolutely zero production value trailers, as "coming soon" attractions. Of course, it can be said that TOTEM is a thinking person's movie. It left me thinking "why did I spend good money renting this?" I also thought: "IMDb will need to add zero to their ratings scale, if more movies like this are made." The paper thin plot involves 6 teens (inexplicably) drawn to this cabin in the middle of nowhere. They can't escape because of some invisible shield, as the viewer is informed through a very talky script. In fact, that's what most of this movie is, talk, talk and more talk. The fleeting scenes where any action occurs, seems almost coincidental. The special effects look like something performed in a grammar school production. Good grief, these kids are dull. They're NOT even nubile, which seems to be a prerequisite for teen/horror flicks! Kind viewer beware of the "TOTEM"-Of course, I mean the movie- not the object of it. You have been warned.

In the tradition of Full Moon's excellent b-horror movies comes Totem. The story of six people who find themselves mysteriously drawn to a cabin in the woods. They decide to leave and wander into a nearby graveyard that contains a totem pole, the crux of the film. The gothic style pole has three monsters carved into it. These creature are looking to raise the dead or complete some sort of ritual and they need three victims and three killers.This movie is undoubtedly a product of Full Moon in its style, acting, and plot. The special effects are hysterical. One of the monsters who can supposedly fly sports a pair of wires that are all too visible. Also towards the end, when dead people are rising the make-up warrants an oscar award for a job well done. The corps wear rubber masks that yield no facial expressions whatsoever and when they grab for the people you can notice that nothing has been done to their arms so there is a complete contrast between the decayed face and the skin on the hands and arms.Perhaps not an instant classic, but definitely a movie to sit down to. Ifyou are a fan of Full Moon's other productions you're sure to like this one. Its filled with awkward lines and, as expected, at some parts less than good acting. Even though its a bit short ( about 73mins ), head out and rent this puppy!