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Just perfect...

best movie i've ever seen.

I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.

Blistering performances.

"Bog" is quite similar to, and instantly reminded me of "Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell". Both movies were filmed in the rural Wisconsin regions during the mid-70's ("Bog" didn't get released until the early 1980's) and they are both … well … abominable! That is to say, they're bad but somehow irresistibly charming, cheesy and entertaining as the same time. And, for some strange coincidental reason, these movies also just happen to have the two greatest taglines ever in the horror film industry! For "Croaked" the tagline was: "This time the frog dissects you" and the DVD-cover of "Bog" proclaims the tagline: "Who's the bait now?" That's good stuff. The film neatly follows the familiar monster-movie routine. Some type of ancient creature that has been lying dormant on the bottom of a desolate lake gets awakened in a banal fashion (local fishermen using dynamite instead of regular bait) and begins to devour everyone in the area. This particular beastie entirely drains the blood out of his victims' bodies and leaves the complete lake town community baffled and scared. The awesome Aldo Ray stars as the heroic and quite fearless local sheriff who can't prevent the bodies in his town from piling up and "Bog" also stars two other veterans in the roles of forensic scientists; namely Gloria DeHaven ("Summer Stock" and Marshall Thompson ("It! The Terror from beyond Space"). They can't seem to figure out what kind of dangerous species they're dealing with, but perhaps that's because they're too busy falling in love. The scenes in which senior citizens Adriana and Dr. Wednesday interrupt their investigation of the organic tissue under their microscopes in order to declare their love and affection for each other are unintentionally funny, misfit and rather awkward. It takes more than a full hour before we get a proper impression of the monster. Before that, we just hear it growl and have to derive from the petrified expression of its victims' faces that it must be one hideous beast. Still, it's plain obvious that "Bog" is an incredibly low-budgeted and amateurish horror romp, so likewise for the monster design. The creature actually even looks more imbecilic and less scary than the monsters in those zero-budgeted 1950's movies, like "Attack of the Giant Leeches", "The Beast from Haunted Cave" and "The Giant Gila Monster". The thing has enormous eyes and his arms look like an over-sized crab. According to the trivia section, the guy in the suit was 6ft7 and weighed nearly 250pds. One final remark I just have to make: I seriously wonder how many gallons of booze were consumed during the production of "Bog". The first victims, two fishermen and their wives, drink beers non-stop. Even during their police interrogations! And also every dialog with good-old Sheriff Aldo Ray ends with the words "I could sure use a drink right now…".

I purchased the movie as I am a devout fan of Gloria DeHaven and had never even heard of it before. From the first scene I became aware of the poor quality of the film (which was factory-sealed) and also the mundane acting. The scary parts were just plain stupid. Gloria DeHaven was good in her roll as Ginny and the love story line was pat. I just couldn't believe that an actress of her quality could have stooped to such a clunker. I was also aggravated that I couldn't find a date anywhere on the tape. I knew by the cars and fashions that it had been done in the 70's, but the date on the cover said 1988. Not possible. Was this monstrosity ever released in theaters? Dear God who would have paid to see it? Looked like the most low-budget horror flick ever!!

If you can not make your suit scary and it looks fake and crappy do not even bother shooting the film to begin with as then you will save yourself the heartache of having to read horrible reviews of your movie and you will have spared the viewers who sat through the movie the pain and agony of having to sit through it. Though when looking at the monster in this flick it sort of looks like the monster that was originally supposed to be in the movie "Predator" before they thought it looked to weak and they made the smart move and switched it with what is now a well known alien monster of the cinema. This movie has what it says, a bog with a monster that kills. Nothing to graphic which is another problem. You are making a b-grade horror movie, why make it so weak? The audience you should be trying to attract is horror movie lovers and in them you should target the one's that like lots of gore! So bring in the buckets of blood and chicken and cow livers for the kills as this audience if they get their gore will overlook a weak looking monster. What we get though is a rather weak monster killing, a rather strange plot twist, a rather humorous way to lure the monster out of hiding, and an ending that is typical with monster horror movies.

"Bog" is a complex movie of many parts, what some would call a mystery wrapped in a riddle, enveloped in an enigma, drenched in hatred. However, despite the immediate allure of this modern retelling of the classic tale, the dip thirsty bog creature soon chaffes beyond all previously recorded levels. The scene where the creature emerges from his filthy lair and proceeds to hurl wildly outrageous claims at the townsfolk is one thing - however, when the dip cups begin to pile up and the horrifying creature pulls out the guitar, it is almost too much to watch. The viewer is left to ponder the wild fabrications of this primordial monster and cannot help but feel the pain in this fratted-out lair of terrible run-on stories and hair blowdriers. The viewer can only be left as a battered, broken shell of their previous self, completely devoid of all value and fully revirginified. Fantastic performances by Liam and the Firecracker.