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The Age of Commercialism

People are voting emotionally.

I wanted to but couldn't!

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

I think the other reviewers covered much of the excremental content of this film, but I didn't see mention of the ridiculous shots of Lorenzo and the other guy "inside" the helicopter cockpit, which made Ed Wood's "Plan 9" airplane cockpit look good by comparison. As to the multiple and varied CGI images of the "alien", it was as if someone made a bunch of test effects for the film, and they decided to use every bit of it somewhere in the movie. It all proves that as long as the DVD cover art and write up are good, you can cram 90 minutes of any filler onto a disc. I only paid $2 for it, at one of those "overstock" type stores, so it didn't financially hurt me, and I KNEW it probably wouldn't be great, but I didn't imagine it could be so brutally bad......really, nearly unbearably, awful. Only those of you here on IMDb who have seen it will know about the severity of the pain I'm describing.....

I place blame for this utter disaster of a movie squarely on one of the worst directors of this or any century. I'm speaking of Jeff Leroy. If you look up HACK DIRECTOR in the dictionary, not only would his picture be there, but his entire life story! If I was going to write or direct a sequel to something, I would at least watch the original. But this complete moron didn't. He changed the location, the first movie happened in the forest, not the freaking desert. The creature was dumped their CENTURIES AGO! If it was freaking prelude to invasion what the hell took so long for then to return? The cave drawling said it was a failed experiment that they dumped here. ANOTHER BAD CHANGE. They totally changed the creature's look. Plus the OTHER SHOE ending, after KATE kills it, a UFO shows up with a freaking army of those things. The end of the world. A bad ending, what would expect from the hack Jeff Leroy who brought you CAMP BLOOD. Another pile of crap.

This movie is one of the funnest movies I've ever seen,I mean it's up there with Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I laughed through the whole movie. Just the thought of an alien protecting swords and gold is funny.The most funny part in the movie is when ever the alien is chasing them, the animation on that is terrible but it's so funny. I saw this one before the first one. This probably could be called a Troma Studios Film, but it's better than that.The extras are fall off the couch laughing because of the guy who played the alien has an interview.Also read my post on the message board for more info.

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* You could easily write a book about all of the things wrong with "Alien 3000". Easily. This movie screams incompetence from beginning to end. It proudly shouts it from the mountaintop for the whole world to hear. But I would be lying if I didn't say that I found a few terrible parts enjoyable. There were scenes in "Alien 3000" that had me rolling in my chair with laughter. I doubt the movie was looking for that reaction but it got it from me."Alien 3000" is about a cave and the cheap invisible monster that lives there. The government sends a misfit crew of mercenaries to check it out. Lorenzo Lamas is hanging out back at their cardboard building headquarters for some B-movie backup. After much shouting and arguing amongst the soldiers, the monster decides he's had enough of their whining and proceeds to tear his way through them."Alien 3000" is a bad movie. It's got bad acting, horrible casting, atrocious special effects and generally reeks like a dead fish. The problems are almost too numerous to mention but here are some of them. First off, if the government is so concerned about the monster, why does it send the reject squad of mercenaries to handle it? These bozos didn't look like they could kill a slow moving fly, let alone kill a monster. All of the scenes with Lamas looked like they were filmed separately. He never once interacted with the main cast. "Alien 3000" felt like two or three different movies pounded together.The other big problem was with the special effects. They were mighty cheap and terrible although some of them were so awful that I had to laugh at them. One scene has a soldier running toward Lama's helicopter when he suddenly explodes. Another scene has the monster flying through the air and landing on Lorenzo's copter. These scenes may sound reasonable enough but in the movie they are handled with such ineptness you'll be howling with pain/joy. Both of these scenes had me laughing my head off. At least I got something halfway fun out of "Alien 3000".