Watch Dracula (The Dirty Old Man) For Free

It's no definitive masterpiece but it's damn close.

hyped garbage

There are better movies of two hours length. I loved the actress'performance.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

*** SPOILER ALERT *** There's a special place in my heart for movies that try to be more than they should really be, and this is one of those movies. It almost makes me wish it was still possible to make this type of movie, but unfortunately the easy access to digital cameras, posting on the Internet, and digital downloading have made the panache of these films irrelevant. In other words, anybody can make this movie in a couple of weekends with some willing girlfriends and turn out something with better sound and special effects, and that cheapens the appreciation of these old-school nudie cuties.Nonetheless, this movie should be taken for what it is - a low-budget sex-comedy that sought to become famous by shocking the Midwest moral sensibilities of its intended audience (which would be men). How this escaped becoming a drive-in staple is beyond me. "Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS" is more shocking, "Halloween" is more scary, and "Bloodsucking Freaks" is more campy. Still, this movie does have some redeeming traits. For one thing, it has a decent plot concept. Second, the women are full-nude. Third, well, the women are full-nude. That counts for a lot in this genre.The general premise is that Dracula has found his new home in a cave, like any bat would. Considering that this film was made thirty years after Lon Chaney donned a cape, the special effects aren't any better (if anything, they're worse). But that adds to the charm. Its as if the producer is saying, "Look, I had to communicate a plot device to you, and I couldn't do what I wanted so I did what I could. OK?" So don't be hating too much on cloddy special effects. Just suspend your disbelief a bit more.Like all vampires before him, this one needs a helper, so he tricks a reporter into coming into the Bat Cave, where Dracula changes him into a werewolf-jackal thing, which looks a lot like a bad wolf costume in a decent (for the 70's) leisure suit. In order to be cured of the jackal-ness, the reporter must fetch the vampire fresh, young women so that he can drink their blood. The women he fetches are attractive by 70's standards and surprisingly don't have tan lines, which leads to me wonder about the casting director's methods because obviously they were cast for their bodies and not their acting credits. In total, there are six women - blonds, brunettes, and a redhead. The redhead is by far the most attractive and gets the most screen time and acting opportunities. Three of the women are bound crux-style in the cave, to be used for feeding. Instead of biting their necks, he bites their breasts, so they're kept nude during the entire film (always a plus in a film like this). A hot brunette is molested by Jackalmann in a soft-porn sequence, then killed (a shame, really). Lastly, the hot redhead (the reporter's girlfriend before he became Jackalmann) is taken into the cave where Dracula attempts to rape her. Jackalmann tries to fight him off, but is defeated. During the scuffle, the hot redhead attempts to escape but gets lost. She's recaptured and Dracula tries again to rape her. Instead, Jackalmann intervenes again. By now the sun is starting to come up and Dracula must return to his coffin. But it is too late. He burns up in the rays of the sun, the captive women fade away into nothingness, Jackalmann returns to being just a reporter, and the redhead wakes up naked in the cave with her reporter boyfriend just as confused as she is. She gets dressed, but not for long, for obviously they had gone into the cave to have sex, had a bad trip on something, and never consummated their love-making. So, they get to it! Any movie that has that as the epilogue must be alright in my book.My advice - don't watch this movie with the sound on. You don't need it. Sound never worked at drive-ins anyway. You can follow the plot just fine by looking at the screen in-between kisses with Marybeth Rottencrotch and fumbling with her bra strap clasp through her sweater. Don't watch it because you expect high-quality filmmaking. Watch it because you expect low-quality entertainment that's high on nudity and short on plot.

This is a really awful "comedy" film about a vampire who turns a guy into a werewolf so wolfie can kidnap girls and bring them back to a cave for his master to feel up. Even the wolf gets to have sex with a couple of them. We do get to see some naked chicks but that's about it.It could have worked as a pretty gruesome movie if it had been played straight (don't ask me how); instead, they opted for the comedy routine, and it's about as funny as a car wreck. The finished product plays like a terrible episode of the MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER television show, where the original sound seems like it's been turned off so a group of dummies can try to narrate their own stupid dialogue over the action, in between guzzling their six packs. 0 out of ****

The first 20 or so minutes of this film are really hilarious. REALLY funny. The dialogue and overdubbing are so beautiful. This is the best example of bad dubbing I have ever seen. Who knows, maybe they were doing it on purpose. Either way, the words they chose to use as the script are almost like they didn't know the original story and were making it up as it went along. Telling jokes the whole time and making funny comments about everything that you wouldn't normally hear a character in a movie say. They cut on each other and talk about how they have to go to the bathroom and juvenile things like that. I doubt it translated much at all from the original.After the funny parts at the beginning (like the opening monologue about the blue mountains), the movie goes downhill and becomes monotonous. It's like soft core. But it's sort of rude! Dracula gets these women naked and then insults them because they have small breasts or are too heavy or something. Usually you have a naked woman on the screen and everyone is excited. But Dracula is very snooty and picky! It's sort of funny, but also sort of mean. Especially since I don't think he was supposed to say those things originally.A funny movie because of the new script. The best parts are at the beginning. The wolf man is very well done. Dracula is kind of sexy. The naked woman are too much for me. Funny then porny.

A big piece of ****! But the scene with the werewolf is so ridiculous, you won't believe it! Also, consider that even in original version it's not synchro. Super low budget movie.Actually, this is a good movie to watch when you wanna have fun with your friends. Hard to find also. A must see for the bad movies fans!